Why is there always bias when it comes to horoscopes like you can tell the writers zodiac just by looking at it.
Aries: angry af but pretty passionate today you do something idk maybe pay child support
Capricorn: yea you pretty smart and all but you're gonna run your mouth off too much at lunch today so stfu
Virgo: you a hard ass worker my dude, chill
Scorpio: slut, skank, bitch quit being such a dick also you're going to burst into flames at some point and everyone will leave you including the people you steal FROM YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND WHEN THEYRE AT THEIR WORST *cough**cough**Stacy*
Leo: OMFG YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON ON THE FUCKING PLANET YOU EAT LIGHTING AND SHIT THUNDER YOURE SO TALENTED AND CREATIVE ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE
Libra: fuck off Janice I'm not going to your fucking baby shower
Taurus: give me back my lemons, whore
Gemini: you still owe me 20$ don't think I forgot, bitch
Saggitarus: you should go to the convenience store and buy me your coworker Debbie a meatstick and just place it on her desk ya know for funzies and good karma or something
Aquarius: oh yea you exist, idk today will be extraordinary [insert something so broad it could happen to anyone][yes the Sunday paper guessed that someone breathed as they passed by you]
Pisces: sup fishboi you're gonna like be successful at something today idk what it is but congradu-fucking-lations