“Do me a favor, kiss my ass” + five
sooo I’m back writing for umbrella academy so feel free to send in requests. also despite being (scarily) close in age to good ol’ aiden, this is as much “sexual” activity as I’d write for him. he’s a minor. we will respect that.
He came in every day for a cup of coffee.
You noticed because you came in every day for the same reason. Sitting in your corner, reading your book, you liked to observe what was happening around you. The people, the atmosphere, the ongoings of a world you scarcely participated in. So when a boy dressed in a private school uniform starts appearing day after day after day, you notice.
Despite being inherently shy, you also have guts, which means you have no problem walking up to him one day at the counter and taking a seat.
“So, what school?” You ask, setting your book down next to your coffee as you get comfortable.
“Excuse me?” He says, looking at you as if only just noticing your presence.
“Your uniform, I’m assuming it’s not a fashion statement?” You chuckle, cocking your head to the side to peer at him. A closer inspection, he’s around your age, and the way his eyes stare at you make you intrigued.
“Umbrella Academy, though it’s not a school,” he sighs, tapping his fingers against the counter impatiently. He looks at the clock and frowns.
“In a hurry?” You question, popping open your book yet continuing to observe him.
“Yes, I have five days, and my fam— colleagues— are incompetent,” he straightens his jacket almost by habit, reluctantly taking a seat at the counter.
“Yikes,” is all you say, not even looking up from your book. He looks at you closer.
“Are you not concerned about that at all?”
“Of course I am, but what am I supposed to do?” You laugh, putting your bookmark in place. “I can’t run from my extinction.”
He looks at you through a calculated gaze, a slight smile on his lips. “I’m Five.”
“I’m 16,” you smile, offering your hand. He looks at you in confusion. “Are we not saying our age?”
“My name is Five,” he cocks an eyebrow. “My age is 58.”
“Good for me,” you chuckle as he shakes your hand. “I like older men.”
“So, what’s your plan with averting the apocalypse?” You ignore his questioning gaze about your last comment. You’d be kidding yourself if you didn’t find him attractive in a boyish sort of way. He was no James Dean, but he had a captivating look that made your heartbeat just a little faster.
“I don’t know,” he answers, running a hand through his hair.
“Maybe I will,” you smirk, sipping your coffee as you look at him. “Let’s start at the top.”
Five, for whatever reason, tells you everything about him. He finds it weird that you take his history without much of a fuss, but you chalk it up to being an avid reader. By the time it’s nightfall, the manager is kicking you two out of the door, and you’re laughing at some ridiculous story he’s telling you. You hold your stomach as you stumble to the curb.
“I want to show you something,” Five chuckles, offering his hand. You take it without hesitation, and suddenly your insides are turned outside, and you find yourself on top of building staring at Dallas from above. It takes you a second to readjust.
“Did we just do your portal thingy?” You breathe, sitting on the ground to gain your footing.
“Teleporting? Yes. I find this is the only place I can think,” Five says, sitting next to you. His knee touches yours, and you find yourself zeroing in on that little interaction.
“You do a lot of thinking, don’t you ever have fun?” You laugh, tucking some hair behind your ear.
“I can have fun,” he exclaims, peering at you.
“Really? It sounds like you live with a stick up your ass.”
“What do you know about my ass?”
“That there’s a stick up it.”
He shoves you slightly, but there’s a grin on his face. You can’t help but want to tease him.
“My brother, Diego, is the uptight one,@ Five scoffs.
“Sounds like he’s getting more action, though.”
“What does that mean?” Five questions, looking at you offended.
“It sounds like he has a mental patient girlfriend while you’re over here getting your shorts in a twist.”
“I can do get action,” Five stands up, hands on his hips.
“When’s the last time you talked to a girl other than your sisters?”
“I’m talking to you,” he points out, but you roll your eyes.
“I don’t count,” you laugh, standing up and crossing your arms.
“You didn’t pursue me romantically.”
“Did you?” You inquire, taking a step towards him. “It just feels like you insulted me a lot.”
“Here’s some light criticism, be a better conversationalist,” you retort, leaning in closer to him. He steps towards you, humor in his eyes.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so cynical.”
“Five, do me a favor, kiss my ass,” you laugh.
“I will,” he says, and suddenly you’re aware of how close you are.
“Good,” you respond, looking at him. Suddenly his lips are on yours, and you feel his hands on your hips tugging you closer. You instinctively run your fingers through his hair, tugging the brown locks slightly and causing him to groan. You respond by deepening the kiss, slowly pulling the two of you towards the ground until you fall over, rather ungracefully. You’re basically in his lap as he holds you tightly, his lips on yours as if you’re a lifeline. His thumb traces a line from your jaw to your throat, and you feel yourself melt. Suddenly he pulls away, and you can’t help but feel disappointed.
“I know a lovely television store where we can continue this in,” he breathes heavily. “And would you like to help save the world?”
“That all sounds lovely,” you respond, smiling as he teleports you two away from the nightlife of Dallas.
