I can't be the only one who can't feel both physically and emotionally.
Like I can try to express emotion on my face and can feel my skin moving to form it but it doesn't FEEL like anything? Or I can be super happy/tired/etc and people can't tell that I am because my face isn't displaying that emotion? Or know that I should feel an emotion but the current moment doesn't allow me to for some reason??
No inner voice? Things just pop up and its goes away and youre left with nothing to do? No vivid imagery or imagination. Can't see nothing in your mind like people say they can see objects when they close their eyes.
There no thought process being done but just being blurted out that you question if it's even your thoughts. Like you don't even have control over what you say or do. Such strong disassociation and loss of self that you don't know what think at all about yourself or other things.
It's been a couple days since the Variety Fair article was published. And I'm just torn.
Roman Reigns GOT me into pro wrestling. His rivalry with King Corbin got me interested in WWE. And when I got back into wrestling again last year, the Bloodline story was one of my favorites! He's part of the reason why I have a desire to be a pro wrestler myself one day. I mean, I guess you can say that he's my hero.
However, it feels wrong to call him that when he supports Trump. The same man who was convicted of SEXUAL ASSULT. The same man who is wrongfully deporting people from the country, WHICH IS ILLEGAL, MIGHT I ADD. AND THE SAME DAMN MAN WHO WANTS TO TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN, PEOPLE OF COLOR, AND LGBTQIA+!
This just hurts me. As a teenager, as someone who is questioning their sexuality, as a female, as a PERSON who believes that all people should be treated with respect and dignity as everyone else...this just hurts.
Of course, I can't talk to anyone about it. Almost everyone I know support Trump in some way. My dad owns a god damn MAGA hat. I have no friends. I'm alone. For bloody hell, I can't talk to anyone on here or even fucking comment on posts for some stupid reason because I only have the website and I haven't verified my email. I'm alone. And that hurts.
I know that we can't hold celebrities on pedestals because they are performers, especially wrestlers. But God, I just can't listen, can I?
This has really put a stain on the way I support Roman and the way that I will watch Wrestlemania this weekend. I mean, I own a shirt that is part of Roman's merch, which I wear on every Friday when it's time for Smackdown. Now, I can't even bear to even look at it. And I was looking forward to the Punk-Rollins-Reigns match. But...I really don't care for it anymore. And I was so excited for Wrestlemania in general! Now, I don't have the same energy as I did in the past few months.
I've just been in a funk personally, not that anyone in my personal life cares really. People on here might not care anyway. But I have to get my feelings out in some way.
It's gonna be hard to deal with this. Might take a while. Hell, I might find another wrestler to sort of replace what I had with Roman (that sounds weird, but it's the truth).
I hope that Roman realizes that what Trump is doing is bad and apologizes for it (even though it might never happen). I hope that every other fan who is going through this finds a sort of positive in this dark situation and doesn't let this hold them back for longer than it has to. This is a lot to deal with. But it will be ok. As for anyone else who still continues to support him, I personally don't care. It's your life. Support who you want. Sounds a bit harsh, but it's the truth.
Still, I don't know what to say, or do. This is bad. I never thought this would happen. Honestly, I thought Roman was one of the good ones. But alas, you never know with men these days.
But we will be ok. We'll persevere through this. Don't let them take more.
If anyone has anything to say that's positive, it'll be really helpful. I might reply, might not. This is gonna be a hard few days. Thanks to anyone who made it this far down. I appreciate you.
im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing im failing
