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#freemarlize
Guys, Candice's new haircut is getting more and more Regina Mills-y/boss lady-ish and I'm gay.
PS: "Don’t let Caity die." Did you know GAY WORRY is so powerful it will activate the gay alleles in meta DNA and allow people sharing a body to start remembering what the other did? Science.
No one told me The Flash was gonna harm Beebo. None of you are my friends.
(WHAT is this season? It's like "History Teachers Don't Get Any Respect" + "Get Out (2017)" and I don't understand where it's going, but I know it's dumb.)
Good things:
NORA JUST BOUGHT CISCO SOME COFFEE. She is such a cute nerd <3<3<3
When Amunet gave Caitlin that huge motivational speech, I started to wonder, like, if Amunhotep means Amun is satisfied, does Amunet mean Amun is gay?
Killer Frost went to Burning Man.
Cisco and Harry trying to get Caitlin mad by shouting dumb things.
When Danny Trejo showed up and no one told him to lower his hands a little when he was using his powers, because no one is going to correct Danny Trejo.
Caitlin operating on Caleb from HTGAWM (this isn’t a good thing. this was in fact a terrible thing. particularly when she jerry-rigged something to help her not hit an artery, but then the monitor was basically an x-ray and it was so bad it got good)
the next episode is called "Honey, I Shrunk Team Flash"
flash 4x05: gays night out
guys i legit teared up a bit watching this episode, and it's because i wanted to laugh so hard at myself when Iris walked in and offered to help Caitlin patch herself up. my one brain cell: "MARY SHE IS GETTING MARRIED. THIS IS LITERALLY HER BACHELORETTE PARTY." my other brain cell: "BACK ON OUR BULLSHIT. YES. KISS. KISS. KISS." and Killer Frost???? ice is gay???????? definitely banged Amunet at least once despite the dumb accent/dreads/lipstick???? definitely would also help Caitlin patch herself up if they weren't stuck with each other forever like old marrieds who are also soulma--um, what was I talking about again? oh yeah: why is Ralph Disney necessary?
When the moon hits your eye and your internet connection stops fucking around and you get that crisp close-up of Candice Patton's face, it's amore.
Also, I watched three episodes of S4 and I don't even know where to begin making fun of that new villain. What I do know is I have so many new emotions attached to the fact that the Legends taught Wally to DO CRIME within five minutes of setting foot on the ship. THAT’S JOE WEST’S SON!!!!!
Also, also, I’m using a #flashblogging tag now if you want to save yourself.
savitar is ben is glory
I almost forgot to yell about this because of some Life Stuff, but I finally got to the episode where Caitlin’s Hot Cold? Murder Girlfriend reemerges, and I. cannot. believe. IT’S 2019 2017? EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PULL THE THING OUT WHEN SOMEONE GETS IMPALED. AND YET. DOCTOR CAITLIN SNOW LET THEM PULL OUT THE BAR THAT HAD JUST FUCKED UP HER BODY, AND THEN INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY HEMORRHAGING SHE WALKED TO A GURNEY, AND STAYED CONSCIOUS AND COHERENT THROUGHOUT HER OWN SURGERY??????????????????? GUIDING DRACO MALFOY LIKE IT WAS NOTHING??????? THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE, FLASH!!!!!
Also, today I learned that Vox Media fired Ashley Oh and she wasn’t gonna be in the Polygon Show anymore? “SIMONE MUST BE JOKING” thought Mary from a few hours ago, BUT SHE WAS NOT. My second favorite host is gone and I am so genuinely upset I should get DUMB EMO HAIR, like SOME PEOPLE.
For Science
Caitlin Snow and Lena Luthor should start a Science Anonymous thing where they agree to brainstorm solutions to their problems, but no one is allowed to ask Why. They’re really mundane problems, too, like, My phalanges will turn to dust if something incredibly strong squeezes them really hard or I frequently suffer from cold-stimulus headaches when cold things get in my mouth.
It’s rough, guys.
swashbucklery replied to your post: RAYGE!!!
MARY, DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW HAD BARELY BEEN INVENTED YET. HE COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN
I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TIME TRAVEL AND MULTIVERSE THEORY TO YOU. THE SHOW HAS EXPLAINED IT SO MANY TIMES
SEE? IT WAS ALL PRETTY DOABLE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAN OF SCIENCE.
RAYGE!!!
Originally this post was going to be like "my name is Mary and I cried my way through the end of Flash S2", but then I got to the actual season finale and now my name is Mary and I'm going to DROPKICK BARRY ALLEN BACK INTO A CELL AND TAKE AWAY HIS SPEED DRIVER'S LICENSE. Has this emo dweeb not watched a single episode of Legends of Tomorrow??? YOU HAVE SO MANY DADS YOU COULD SELL THEM ON AMAZON, WHY DID YOU GO AND HIT THE "FUCK UP" BUTTON FOR????
