Tangentially from the last post, some advice to a past self about choosing romantic partners:
So, younger self. I remember how vivid she was, how she seemed to exist in a higher resolution than everyone else, how you felt like you were alive when she was there like you could never remember being. How clever she was, and how brave, and how tough, and how pretty (that she was down to fuck someone she'd met yesterday during a job interview was another part of how you first became interested, as you recall). So, I haven't forgotten why you were into her.
(I put on a poor showing there [as she said afterwards: "I mean, I've been with nerdy dudes before, but"], so we kept hanging out, but there was only very sporadic physical affection over the next couple of years before we started dating. In retrospect, I'm sure she was hinting at a repeat and engineering situations where something might happen several times during that period (there's a couple of times I'm thinking of), but I wasn't expecting it, and was enacting an 'all displacement behaviour is a stop sign' social-interaction policy [as I learnt on the XKCD forums, you can avoid shades of grey by declaring everything not white effectively black, as an ethics of avoiding harassment: that this policy would cripple anyone not having sex exclusively with professionals and/or BDSM practicioners wasn't something that came up, and that was still the best source I had for social scripts], which I imagine she found frustrating.
Nevertheless, you should probably value yourself more, when you're thinking about whether you'd like to start dating her. Even if you've known someone for years and it was kind of out of character, you shouldn't get involved with someone you suspect deliberately crashed her car with you in the passenger seat to manipulate a third party. That is too much.
That she has traumagenic DID and isn't engaging with anyone for that (for management and general trauma therapy, not alter-integration, though I do think a degree of 'each face gets to have more of a range of emotions' is good) is also kind of worrying, in that a face that doesn't recognise you coming online while she's driving has been a scary time before for both of you (or rather for the more than both of us), and it's not like the psychopathology's going to spontaneously disappear.
Similarly, while it's impressive that she doesn't back down, zero-latency-transitions between calm and shriekingly furious are stressful to be receiving, and you do deserve better than such. As much as her social display was masterful, and as much as she wasn't someone who hesitated, "zero latency, all speed, no drag, like a fighter pilot in the zone" seeming like a good way to describe her emotional life is mayhaps a metaphor suggestive of your being harmed by her at some point.
