#flirty characters

[the-baby-storyteller]

Swoooooooonery. Anything that makes me, or a character, swoon is a yes for me. Specifically another character, preferably romantic and/or flirty.

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

Okay how do you feel about authors writing lines Like "I smirk in response to this" in a normal situation. Even if it's because the character tends to smirk instead of full on smile. I ask because I'm writing a character who, others say is super flirty, but the character doesn't realize it. However she describes her main smile as a smirk in first person

First off, don’t say “I smirk in response to this.”

It sounds very amateur and is breaking every single show don’t tell rule in the book; the reader’s aren’t stupid- they know that if a character smirks after a piece of dialogue or and event it is a response to that dialogue or event.

If you want to write a character who is flirty without realizing it, you can use words other than smirk. The other characters’ reactions matter the most, though.

If she says something that she thinks is innocent and the person blushes and gets all stuttery, you know they think she’s flirty.

[motleystitches]

More on 镇魂 | Guardian..and a translation

My love for this trashy novel and this trashy tv show (said with the fondest affection, of which I have yet to finish the 2nd episode) has me refreshing tags on ao3 and lofter,

That said, there are all these subtleties in the Chinese version of the web novel that has me re-reading bits that I want to share. So, if there is a passage in the Wattpad English translation you’d like to explore further I’D very happily discuss all the alternative options.....

In the meanwhile, here’s my translation of the bit where ZhaoYunlan asks ShenWei about his personal life as the man tries to hand him some antibiotics and bandages (what a flirt)

Chapter 10 (like a peacock with his feathers spread out, using this time to display a pheromonal and patterned tail )..excerpt with notes and stuff

“Oh,” Zhao Yunlan said, then continued, “So does Prof. Shen have a girlfriend?”

There was a hint of something predatory in his gaze. Somehow, Wei thought, neither yes nor no would be the right answer.

Zhao Yunlan took the bottle from his hand, turned it round a few times in his palm, and said, half-smiling, “Not that it matters, it’s just that I thought someone like Prof. Shen, successful, educated, and sensitive- there must be a line.”

“Don’t be ridiculous-” Shen Wei was nonplussed.

Zhao Yunlan smile widened, revealing two dimples. “Right, let me borrow your phone.” 

Shen Wei took out his phone, but instead of taking it, Zhao Yunlan cradled the back of Wei’s hand, and then in the same position, brazenly saved his own name and number into the phone, called, and let it ring once before hanging up. (note: apparently TV!Shen Wei doesn’t do phones, the book!Shen Wei has a phone, it’s just not a smart phone)

“A way to keep in touch,” Zhao Yunlan said, pretending seriousness, “If you’ve any tips for the case, do not hesitate to disturb.”

Afterwards, he tossed the bottle up and caught it, and turned around to wave at Shen Wei. “Thank you very much. I’ve some matters to take care of it and must go. But after this case, I will take you out.” (note: this read very ambiguously as either a date or just grabbing a bite with a friend..but then we have the following paragraph..)

This time, he wasn’t in a hurry. One hand in his pocket, his posture relaxed, seen from the back he seemed a little languid, but where the body should curve, it was not straight, and where it should be straight, it did not curve- the languor was charming- almost like a peacock with his feathers spread out, using this time to display a pheromonal and patterned tail. 

Zhao Yunlan’s already far away when Shen Wei’s abashed uneasiness finally faded. His kept his stare controlled, and finally with one last look at Yunlan’s disappearing back, he turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

In less than than ten steps, he couldn’t help looking backwards, but the figure he was looking for had already left from view.

In the contact list of his phone was the shameless “Ah-Lan”, the characters lying quiet and still on the screen. When he said the two syllables to himself, it felt as if a knife rolled softly over his heart and sliced the softest part of him into pieces, but finally the sound was kept shuttered behind his slightly thin lips where no one could hear. (note: this does read really awkwardly in Chinese as well...., especially the lips part)

Shen Wei lifted his finger, there was still a trace of the cologne from the other man, though already much faded. He closed his eyes and inhaled, slowly and deeply.

He didn’t know the brand or the make, but the first time he caught its scent, it was if the taste had already haunted his dreams for years. 

In the quiet campus, the only sound was green leaves falling from branches. There was nothing to show on Shen Wei’s face. After a moment, the corner of his lips curved in a sort of self-mocking smile. He lowered his head and hurried away.

Only when he lowered his head, a sort of grimness flashed by, his face tightened as if carved by a knife, an air of murder about him. 

(note: the strict translation for the four character is actually “captured his soul and entrapped his dreams” but that’s a distracting translation to read in English so I’ve used “haunted”- this is relevant as we learn later that Shen Wei doesn’t sleep so he wouldn’t dream and he also doesn’t have a soul so there’s no entrapping his soul and you also can’t “haunt” someone who’s already a ghost. Emotionally plotwise, this is all in his happy daydreams about Yunlan where he knows the other man’s taste and smell)

Other comments:

This whole sections differs from the TV version in that Yunlan’s much more suspicious but no less flirty. Also, kudos to the TV version and credits to the actors in the flashbacks portraying internal longing....