Fluffier
Summary: A few days later and Steve is still hanging out, but he has some questions that you can't answer while a wolf. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, you can feel the change back coming soon. Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Word Count: 4097 Warnings: Fluff, language, descriptions of body shifting/changing, angst, talk of past traumas and medical stuff A/N: This is a continuation of the story Fluff, so you definitely want to read that first before you read this. I'm currently writing a part three to this, so keep an eye out soon for it. :) It was beta'd by the lovely @idjitmonkey and I hope you enjoy! Please follow me on Ao3 if you want, I cross-post all my stories there as well.
Marvel Masterlist
As the empty plastic packaging of the beef jerky you’d just wolfed—no pun intended—down fluttered to the ground, you licked your chops, turning to look at the unfairly warm supersoldier laying prone next to you on the bed. It was two days after Steve discovered your closely guarded secret, and he was still here, bringing you food and keeping you company.
Steve had fallen asleep almost an hour ago, his hand buried in the thick fur of your right shoulder. You were content to allow him to sleep, until you felt the first telltale spasm of your leg muscles. When you poked his cheek with your nose and whined softly, Steve lifted his head and blinked blearily at you.
“Wha-?” He was instantly on alert after looking into your concerned eyes, and quickly scanned the room for threats before returning to meet your gaze. “What’s wrong?”
It took a few seconds of thought to figure out how to explain to Steve what was going to happen. Rising from the bed, you smirked at the disappointed grunt he gave when your furry warmth disappeared. Steve’s eyes followed you as you trotted over to your dresser, and his eyebrows pinched together when he watched you delicately nose and snuffle at the framed picture of you and Wanda that resided there.
“You… want me to get Wanda?” Steve asked, rubbing a hand down his face, obviously still too sleepy for wolf charades. You shook your head and pressed your nose flat against where you were in the picture, letting out a soft woof. When you exhaled a sigh, your breath fogged up the glass, and when you pulled away, there was a perfect nose-shaped smudge of moisture over your face in the picture. Miming things was something all pack members learned, but you’d spent the last five years either in captivity or hiding who you were, so you’d gotten somewhat rusty at complicated non-verbal communication.
Luckily, Steve was a smart cookie. “Oh… you’re going to change back to human?” You nodded and he smiled. “Understood. How do you know when you’ll switch back? Is it something your brain tells you, or can you change at will after a specific point in time?” When you glared at him, he laughed and shook his head. “Right, too much. I’ll ask when you’re back on two legs.”
When you leaned back and balanced on your hind legs, wiggling your front paws in the air, Steve shook his head and chuckled. He was an extremely curious person, and over the last two days he’d peppered you with various questions about what you were, where you came from, and other inquiries about your species. Some you could answer with miming, while others were either too complicated to explain via a game of charades or required things you couldn’t show him while you were in wolf form. He did learn pretty quickly how to interpret your minute wolfy facial expressions, much to your relief.
When Steve didn’t leave the room, you glared at him. “What?”
You dropped back down to four legs and reached out to gently tap your paw on the tattered remains of your pajama pants, trying to convey your message. When you transformed into a wolf, you shredded whatever clothes you happened to be wearing if you couldn’t strip quick enough… so when you turn back to human, you’re exactly how you were when you shifted the first time: completely naked. It took Steve a few minutes to work it out in his mind, but after an amused raise of your canine eyebrow and a teasing swish of your tail, his eyes widened.
“Oh, you’re—OH! Right, you’ll be naked when you turn back.” He jumped up from your bed, smoothed down his shirt and flannel sleep pants, and cleared his throat. “I’ll… be out in the living room. Do you know how long the transformation takes?”
You nodded up and down before tapping the floor with your paw five times.
“Five… five minutes?” When you nodded again, he smiled. “Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if… you need me?”
You gave him your best wolfy smile, tongue lolling out of the side of your mouth, before he spun around and ducked out the door, closing it firmly behind him.
The transformation from wolf to human took longer than it did from human to wolf, but you still had to actively initiate the process once you felt the tingling muscles of an imminent change. Sure, you could let the tugging and itchy feeling of the change go on until your body changed on its own, but that led to awkward situations and a lot of shredded clothes, much to your annoyance. It began with muscle twitches and an itchy feeling under your skin, and quickly escalated over the course of a few hours until instinct would take over and force you to change right then and there when the moon’s influence began to increase, when going from human to wolf, or wane, when going from wolf to human.
Judging by the way your muscles began to bunch and stretch in your back legs, you knew that if you didn’t actively begin the transformation soon, instinct would take over within the hour and do it for you.
Again.
The mission you were on in Prague a few days ago took a tad longer than you were expecting, allowing you to remain distracted enough to ignore the warning signs, which led to the change coming upon you so rapidly that evening that you hadn’t had time to strip before you turned into a wolf. Sadly eyeing your shredded pajama pants once more, you jumped back onto the bed and quickly settled down on your belly, closing your eyes.
In the beginning, when the elders of the pack are teaching the young ones to transform, the process can be quite painful. The shifting of muscles and bones, and the retreat and growth of fur is taxing on the body, to the point of causing some to pass out from exertion during their first few transformations after they hit puberty. Withdrawing your consciousness into the mental imagery of your choosing allows the change to happen with only mild discomfort as bones settle into their new places, but it takes practice to perfect.
The transformation was different for everyone, some imagined caging darkness or taming something wild to switch back to human, while others welcomed a weary animal into their arms to allow it to finally rest. In your mind, you imagined a dark forest slowly brightening with the rising sun, eating up shadows and sending nocturnal wildlife scurrying into their dens. Between one breath and the next, you felt your fur disappear, your extremities straighten and elongate, and your ears shift to the sides of your head. When you opened your eyes, you shivered at the cool air in your room and looked down at your very human hands where they were stretched out in front of you.
Doing a quick mental scan of your body to make sure everything was in its proper place, you got up from the bed and stretched, lifting your hands up high in the air and rocking forward on your tiptoes to stretch your back, moaning softly in pleasure when your joints popped and shifted to support two-legged walking once more.
“Y/N?” Steve called from behind the closed door.
“Yeah,” your voice was raspy and hoarse due to disuse, so you cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, I’m getting dressed. I’ll join you in one second.”
Steve gave an affirmative noise and you quickly darted to your dresser and opened the various drawers to pull out a bra and underwear, a t-shirt, and pants. Getting dressed expediently was something all werewolves learned, and you were fully dressed and opening the door to your bedroom only fifteen seconds later. Steve was pacing in your living room, and he stopped dead in his tracks when the door opened, turning to look at you.
“Werewolf,” Steve blurted, his eyes widening and his cheeks darkening in color when his brain caught up to what his mouth just said.
“Yeah,” you chuckled, moving into the room to sit down on the couch. “Werewolf.”
“Sorry,” Steve mumbled, dropping down to sit at the other end of the couch opposite from you. “I’m just… I have so many questions and my brain can’t keep up with organizing them all. But before you say anything, I’m sorry for overriding your security lockdown, I was worried.” He tapped his left ear. “Enhanced hearing, I heard really shallow breathing and thought something was wrong… didn’t expect to find a panting wolf laying on your bed.”
The bark of laughter that escaped your mouth made Steve raise his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, I just wish you could have seen your face when you walked into my room. It was priceless.”
Steve snorted and rubbed the back of his neck, giving you an embarrassed shrug. “Yeah, well, you try reaching out to comfort someone and end up finding a giant wolf instead.”
Steve looked up at you when you placed your hand on his arm. “I really did appreciate the sentiment, Captain, even if it wasn’t quite the time of the month you assumed it was.”
“I wanted to make sure you’re taken care of and comfortable,” Steve nodded before he smiled at you; you could practically see the questions swirling behind his eyes. “So, judging by how well you were able to communicate with me and how aware you are of yourself in that form, I’m guessing you were born a werewolf?”
He was referring to the several wrestling matches you’d had over the last few days which had allowed you both to expend some pent-up energy in a safe environment; it wasn’t like Steve could walk down to the gym with a wolf at his side. You were an even match with Steve while in wolf form, or perhaps even stronger, but if you weren’t careful, you could bite or scratch and injure someone without realizing. A few times when you’d had Steve pinned under your bulk, wolfy tendencies like fighting for dominance bubbled to the surface and you’d come close to nipping at his neck with your teeth.
“I was,” you confirmed. “The pack I was born into was one of the eleven major North American werewolf packs left at the time.” Sadness filled your eyes, and you dropped your chin. “That number is down to only four now.”
This time, Steve placed his hand on your arm before scooting closer, his comforting and familiar presence setting you at ease even though you really didn’t know him outside his role during missions. Still, you knew at this moment it was Steve Rogers in front of you, not Captain America.
“Can I ask what happened?”
Steve had asked while you were in wolf form, which you’d been unable to answer at the time, but now you were human, there was no more avoiding the question. “We’ve been fading out for centuries. Less and less pups,” Steve raised a confused eyebrow and you smiled, “pups are baby werewolves. So few have been born, leading to packs getting smaller and smaller to the point of needing to be absorbed by others or dissolving completely.”
“Which does yours fall under?” Steve asked tentatively.
You pulled your eyes away from his crystal blues and stared at your hands clasped in your lap. “Mine was the third to fall apart. I was the last pup born, and the first one born to the pack in almost forty years, before things collapsed. I was still so young when all of the leaders and elders of our pack disappeared overnight, took our supplies and the horses, and vanished.”
Steve’s eyes widened, then hardened. “They just left?” His head tilted adorably. “Wait, horses? How old are you?”
“In human years? Well, werewolves age very slowly after thirty or so, so that would actually put me around your age, Cap,” you snarked, knowing you were actually a few years older than him. “But the werewolves that left, a few wanted to experience what they considered a normal life, others wanted to join another larger pack with more… variety and better things to offer.” You left the explanation vague on purpose, but based on Steve’s tightening shoulders, he knew exactly what you were referring to. “Normally there would be a pack vote, all members have a voice and a choice when it comes to major choices about the pack as a whole. But we were so small… the leaders just decided to go their own way without any input, taking the strongest of the pack with them, assuming those who wanted to would find them and follow.”
“And I’m guessing that’s not what happened?” Steve asked.
“No,” you gave a watery laugh. “You were in the Army in World War II, right?” He nodded. “Imagine being at a base waiting for orders, and overnight all of your commanders vanished, taking all the intel, maps, and equipment with them. What would happen?”
Steve let out a heavy yet soft breath. “Chaos.”
The story was painful, but you retold it. You explained how hurt you were when you woke up and realized everyone except you and a dozen others were left out of the forty who were there the night before. Steve tensed when you explained the horrible infighting that erupted and lasted for decades as those remaining fought for dominance, even though you were all inexperienced and unequipped to handle the responsibility. Steve held your hand when the memories became too overwhelming, resulting in you having to pause and compose yourself.
When you lifted the hem of your shirt and showed Steve the mark on your hip, his hands curled into fists. Three inches long and two inches wide, the jagged scar of a crescent moon was forever burned into your skin, branded there by Jeremy, the tyrant werewolf that rose to power in the pack after using violence and threats to beat everyone else into submission. You closed your eyes, fighting the wave of nausea as memories of that night filled your senses, memories of being pinned down and the smell and pain of burning flesh.
“He said it was a reminder,” you explained, “that we belonged to him and he could do whatever he wanted with us.”
Steve’s outrage didn’t lessen as you began the story of how Jeremy sold you to a group of scientists who were interested in studying unique creatures. According to the bits and pieces of conversations you’d heard during your captivity, they were trying to see if they could isolate and create a serum to turn someone into a werewolf. Steve was extremely interested when you told him that contrary to popular belief, werewolves cannot be created through bites, they can only be born. Biting a human while in werewolf form would do the same thing as if it was an actual wolf doing the biting: nothing.
“And that’s how Fury found you? SHIELD raided the facility?” Steve asked, his chest rising and falling as he took deep breaths to calm himself.
“Yeah, and it was actually Sharon who called Fury in when she found me lying on the cold concrete floor of my cell, half dead and fading in and out of consciousness.” You smiled at Steve’s surprised reaction to Sharon’s name. “Come on, Cap. You know Sharon can keep a secret.”
Although he tried to hide it, Steve snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, she can. How long did it take them to realize you weren’t human?”
“Only a few minutes. The scientists made me wear this stretchy leather bracelet, it had GPS and this taser-like thing, so they could find me if I tried to run or zap me if I got too aggressive while I was in wolf form.” You wrapped your left fingers around your right wrist, the phantom pressure of the bracelet making your skin itch. “It had an ID number printed on it, so I’m guessing Sharon just dug through the computer and cross referenced my ID number to find my file. It wasn’t like they tried to keep what I was confidential, it said ‘Species: Werewolf’ right at the top.”
“Most evil organizations aren’t very security conscious when it comes to the files they have. Romanoff said the last few we took on had encryption that looked like it was written by a ten-year-old.” Steve’s amused smile slowly disappeared as he glanced over at you. “I’m really sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I’ve always been curious about the source of your abilities, but I would have never guessed it was because you’re a werewolf. Did Fury convince you to come work for SHIELD?”
You exhaled out of your nose and shrugged. “He didn’t really have to. Whatever home I had with my pack disappeared the moment Jeremy sold me to those scientists.”
“Another pack wouldn’t take you in?” Steve asked quietly. “I doubt they would have stood by without intervening if they knew what you were subjected to.”
Sweet naïve Steve, you thought to yourself before shaking your head. “Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Whoever becomes the leader of the pack doesn’t have to report to anyone, there’s no check-ins or meetings with other packs aside from the event of a merging of two packs. As long as Jeremy was recognized as leader, he could do whatever he wanted with no repercussions, or at least until someone challenges him for the title.”
Steve swallowed hard, and you could practically taste the flames from the question burning on his tongue. “So, you really have to rely on the leaders for pretty much everything.” It wasn’t a question, but you nodded anyway. “The concept is crazy to me, but I’m an outsider, I wasn’t raised in it, so I wouldn’t know. It’s really similar to how wolves in the wild are, though, right?”
“Well, similar in some respects, yeah,” you explained, trying to find a way to elaborate without sounding like the narrator from a nature documentary on the Discovery Channel. “Aside from the obvious of having a human form that can function as any normal human can, pack hierarchy is very similar to wolves. One pack leader, or Alpha, controls the day-to-day operations of the pack, like where we’re staying, delegation of jobs and tasks, and they also direct cash flow.”
“Where did you rank in the pack? You’re a smart girl, I doubt any good leader would not keep you close to the top.” Steve bumped his shoulder against yours, and you almost jumped, not realizing he had moved closer as you’d been talking and was now sitting right next to you.
“I was a high tier Beta, and I did advise the prior pack Alpha on decisions and helped him create work schedules.” You paused, gathering your thoughts and hoping Steve didn’t ask anything more about the other roles of each designation. “And lastly, yet most importantly, are Omegas. They are the caretakers of the pack, responsible for helping raise and educate the children.”
Steve opened his mouth, then closed it, before swiping a hand down his face. “I have a lot more questions about the specifics of the pack, but it’s not my place to keep prying like that.” Before you could tell him that you didn’t mind, that it was nice to actually talk about it with someone, he moved on. “I want to make sure you’re comfortable on the team, first and foremost.”
The quick change in subject almost gave you whiplash. “I am, Captain.”
He smirked. “I think we’re on a first-name basis now, Y/N. You can call me Steve outside of missions.”
“Okay, Steve,” you said teasingly, “but yeah, I mean it. I really am comfortable on the team. I make sure to sign up for missions outside the days I shift, and nobody’s treated me any differently even though they might not know where my powers originate.”
“Then why hide what you are? Nobody on the team would treat you any different if they knew. Having a wolf during a mission could be useful—I’m sure you have better senses than both me and Buck while you’re on four legs—but we wouldn’t force you to go on missions as a wolf if you didn’t want to. It would just be in case something happens, like if you can’t get back here before your shift begins, we can protect you.” Steve paused when he looked at your face, taking in your concerned and fearful gaze. “I’m… I’m not going to tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about. This is one-hundred percent your choice.”
The silence between you was heavy in the air, and you peered up at Steve, surprised at the honest sincerity on his face. It wasn’t as if you were worried about Steve spilling the beans, you knew he wouldn’t. You were worried about the team’s reactions. Even though you were still the same person, and it was only their understanding of your true species that would change, you didn’t want any more attention on you than there already was.
“I know you wouldn’t,” you murmured, “but that’s… not what I’m worried about. I spent the last few years of my life being nothing more than a science experiment, I’m sure you can understand that feeling.” Steve smiled softly and nodded. “If you present Tony and Bruce with something they didn’t understand or don’t have any information about, what would be the first thing they’d want to do?”
Steve sighed, his facial features relaxing when he finally realized the reason for your hesitance. “Do a bunch of tests and take samples and scans to better understand. Right, I see what you mean.”
“And Bucky and Natasha? It’s ingrained in them to dig into things to better understand them, through hacking, research, interrogation, or breaking into places.” You shivered, but not because you were cold, and you leaned away from Steve when he tried to offer his body heat. “The only copy of my file from that facility is in one of Fury’s secure document storage locations. I really don’t want anyone digging into my past or sticking their nose in places where it might end up being bitten off.”
Steve understood your reasoning, of course he would. A human experiment of his own who was also subjected to testing and monitoring, he knew at least some of what you went through during your captivity. You also knew he read all the Hydra files Natasha discovered on Bucky’s captivity and what he was subjected to when they wanted to test the serum’s effectiveness. Even though you didn’t specifically say it, he knew you were likely given the same treatment as Bucky when the scientists tried to understand your species.
“Do you think he’ll come after you?” Steve asked.
The question was something that had crossed your mind after SHIELD had rescued you, but you doubt Jeremy knew where you’d ended up after the facility was raided and shut down. He probably thought you were killed a long time ago. “I don’t think so. He has no reason to. He was paid up front, it wasn’t like he was getting a stipend or something each month I was being experimented on and would come sniffing around when the money flow stopped.”
“Well, even though I understand your reasoning and respect it, I still think you should talk to the team,” Steve offered, relaxing back on the couch. “You don’t have to tell them specifically what you are, but maybe just some information about your circumstances to help in case things go sideways on a mission. If you want, we can go talk to them now, everyone should be gathering for dinner.”
The request was sincere, and you chewed the inside of your lower lip. It would be nice to not have to hide in your room when you were a wolf, and being able to run around the compound and wrestle and play with everyone would be fantastic to help burn off the excess wolfy energy you accumulated. However, you were still reluctant to dive in with your eyes closed. You needed more time to go over specifics and had to develop a plan to explain what you were without specifically saying what you were.
Smiling at Steve, you nudged his shoulder. “I’ll think about it.”
Looking back, you wished you’d listened to him.