Shinrai Is Attacked (Emotionally)
How had he ended up here.
The entire situation was asinine. But worse yet, he was surrounded by people. People who wouldn’t leave him alone. People who insisted on bothering him over and over again. Sammie who wanted to search for traps with him, Mel who talked at him constantly, and Mori.
Mori who made him feel absolutely furious from just existing. Who made his heart beat and his palms sweat when they smiled at him. The inconsiderate jerk.
He was once again in the common area, Sammie leaning on the couch behind him and Mel sitting on the opposite side of it from him. He did his best to think, ignoring their chatter, ignoring Mori’s soft footsteps as they approached and joined the conversation. He could have left. He could stand up and leave and make it even clearer how much he didn’t want to be involved in this, to deal with them. He should just do it, maybe they’d finally get it if he set a literal divide between himself and everyone else again.
Taking to his feet, Shinrai ignored every word that passed through, he turned on his heel to leave the room.
He tried to turn. He tried to leave. Instead, his ankle caught under him, rolling and sending him toppling to the ground in an embarrassed heap.
Before he could even think, Sammie was in front of him, face full of concern and hands reaching out to check on him.
Shinrai snapped.
"Don't touch me-!" He hissed, shooting an icey glare that made Sammie pull back. They winced, frowning and opening their mouth to apologize, but Shinrai cut them off. "Just leave me alone already!" He curled in on his leg, swearing under his breath at the sharp pain in his foot. He couldn't even storm off like this.
"Hey. They were just trying to make sure you were alright." Mel said, not aggressive but firm. Shinrai glared at her too only to get the same look back.
"I didn't ask for them to care. And I didn't ask for your input either." He scoffed, just wishing he could leave, or they'd leave, or that the floor would swallow him already. He hated this. Confrontation and conflict was fun to cause, not to be in.
Sammie didn't move to touch him again, but finally managed to get a word in, "Are you okay? That looked like a bad twist… I can help you wrap it-!"
Shinrai had never thought he was an angry person. Spiteful sure, but anger, rage, they weren't usual feelings of his. Not until this moment, when despite everything, Sammie still asked. Still wanted to help him.
"No! No- God what else do I have to do for you to get the picture!? I don't want your help! I don't want to be friends, I don't give two fucks if any of you get hurt! Why won't any of you accept that and leave me the Hell alone!?" A fury he'd never felt was bubbling in his chest. Hot and overflowing, twisted with other emotions he didn't even want to think about.
Sammie had drawn back again, muttering an apology that Shinrai could barely hear over his own heartbeat. Mori was stunned silent, only wondering just what any of them had done to cause such a reaction. Mel.
Mel was annoyed.
"Ya know." She started, " I already told you, that I can see through your bullshit. I told you that you can be as mean as you want, but I know the truth. That wasn't permission to treat us like shit, but a fact so that you know, I know what you are: scared." Hearing her say it so plainly, Shinrai's eyes went wide, furious, and he almost tried to bark an insult at her, but she kept talking. "You're scared of us. I can see it- you're scared that you'll give a shit about someone else. That they'll really see you. Scared they’ll hate you anyway."
"They always have!" He said, before he could even catch himself. He looked away, avoiding that burrowing stare she had, that damn stoner and her fucking psycho analysis bullshit. "You can say whatever you want about me. I don't care." He did. And he despised that he did. "But you'll learn that I'm not worth the effort soon enough."
"You'll learn that you are first." It was the first thing Mori had said the whole time, their voice shooting through Shinrais mind like a lightning strike. He huffed. How many times had people told him that.
Oh. Right.
He didn't respond. He felt like he was going to be sick, his stomach twisting and his chest heavy. He'd felt this once in the last decade. Last time he'd slapped on a smile and left. This time he couldn't even pretend to be cheeky, he'd been so thoroughly shredded.
Sammie had gotten to their feet, and reached a hand in his direction to help him up.
He stared for a moment, silent, before taking it and being very quickly pulled to his feet.
"How strong are you holy shit-" he'd rambled out, wincing the moment he put weight on his ankle. Shit. He'd definitely hurt it. Sammie had laughed in response, happy go lucky attitude back to them as if nothing had happened. Shinrai wobbled a bit, sitting back on the couch and ignoring Mel's look of accomplishment.
"I can still help you wrap that. If you want- I know a thing or two about injuries!" Sammie smiled, laughing warmly and almost making Shinrai feel bad for yelling at them. Still, he shook his head, not quite ready for that amount of vulnerability.
"No." He spoke calmer, pausing. "No, thanks. I'll be fine." He looked at his leg, trying to stand again but grimacing and almost tumbling back again when a sharp pain surged through, only to be steadied by Mori. Mori’s strong hands on his shoulders, carefully and as if they knew too well just how much Shinrai hated being touched, but still didn’t want him to get hurt.
“Please. At least allow me to help you back to your room.” They smiled at him. How could they already be over it. How oculd any of them even look at him like this, with anything but disgust. He was going to say no. He was going to wave them off and hobble back like a mess, once again, but their voice betrayed them.
“Alright.” Tumbled out instead, “Fine.” followed, as if to save him any amount of pride. Mori at first reached around to try and help steady him, but their height lead to a mild amount of difficulty, not at all helping Shinrai feel any better. However, the look on Mori’s face as they bluntly asked “Do you mind if I carry you?” did. Or perhaps it didn’t. Shinrai wasn’t sure, he’s pretty sure he actually had a heart attack.
He couldn’t even vocally answer, only nodding once before Mori had him lifted, gently in their arms bridal style, watching his leg carefully to not jostle him too much.
Shinrai ignored just how much heat he could feel on his face. He ignored Mori’s sweet smile and comment about how well he fit in their arms. He did not ignore Mel’s chesire grin as she watched them leave the room, waving cheekily at him while he glared at her wishing he’d finally gain the ability to make some’s head explode with a look.
Mori had left him not long after gently placing him onto his bed, offering to find him some ice. Shinrai had accepted the offer, if only to get at least a few minutes to himself to really process everything that’d happened. That despite everything they’d all still offered him help. That despite everything he’d even done before today they’d stuck around, that Sammie was too nice to stop, Mel too smart, and Mori.
Well Shinrai had no idea why Mori, someone who was smart and had self respect, but wasn’t a contrary bastard, would bother with him. Not knowing scared him. All of it scared him. Having to face them again scared him, but he knew there’d be no way around it.
They wouldn’t let him try to find one anyway.