i was listening to this song again and it honestly really reminded me of her and her whole situation with her identity and it gave me this idea !!
before i explain stuff i was trying to search for stuff about the meaning of the song and i could really only find this so . i will be going off of this!
SO like i explained in a previous post, cami copies the appearances and styles of other girl classmates and has been for a while now (maybe since later in her middle school years?), and to her it's basically a way to get other people to like her more and to be seen as "normal" and "pretty like other girls". it's a really destructive mindset that came from being bullied for most of her childhood for being different than the other kids, which she didn't really understand (nor could she help it!) and it eventually led her to thinking it was because she looked scary or freakish or even ugly
ALSO FOR REFERENCE!!!! my designs for younger camis
(i meant to make her skirt much longer here oops . pretend it is)
her hair is DYED. crazy ...
so BECAUSE of this conclusion she unfortunately ended up with, she started to seek for ways to make herself seem more approachable and friendlier and less scary looking, and overall "prettier". she tried copying hairstyles, accessories, outfits, literally ANYTHING she saw from more popular girls or really any girl she deemed as pretty. (emphasis on tried. she'd sometimes get too scared to wear something out of her comfort zone. and. ok real. !)
she dyed her dark, scary, bold, and very standing-out olive hair into a more soft, appealing, light lime green because she thought it would make her blend in and that it was pretty. and who can blame her it IS pretty!!!!! spoiler alert it only made her stand out more because she's the only one in the hs cast that has fully green hair. she didn't want to fully get rid of her green hair because she actually liked it so she just . went for a lighter shade!! ttrap dyed his hair slightly orange, and a lot of people actually liked ttrap and thought of him as that one really smart and nice kid and you know how it is ...... so of COURSE cami wanted to be like her best friend and dye her hair as well.
i'm getting to the point i promise☝️ FAST FORWARD TO HER HS YEARS, you can only imagine the whiplash she gets when she enters this art based school and sees all sorts of people with all sorts of unique styles and wacky hair colors all over the place. she's so used to trying to "fit in" that at this point she's scared of everyone and everything and just does Not know what to do anymore. she gets dragged into the student council where wearing a formal vest is encouraged. the president wears it for some time. do her friends wear it? no. but if it's encouraged then that means people want her to wear it, right? so she's wearing that damn vest
she borrows a couple more things from other girls. she then finds out about joy golden. revolutionary. groundbreaking. mind blowing. she's perfect in every way. cami's taking everything she can. cami starts dressing up like her and wearing shorter skirts and knee socks instead of leggings, and also starts wearing her hair ribbon like joy does! also the red slippers i give her C: this is pre freddy's arrival (before the beginning of the series) and even during season 1
cami's always been there alright . trust me
however, because of owynn's plan (which we can assume was starting during season 1 because of the finale), cami was starting to grow colder towards eak and ttrap and even a bit distant, even though she was going along with plan for them. stress i suppose? but literally how does she think overthrowing a school event and doing god knows what with shadows will lead her and her friends to a better life. what the fuck did owynn tell her🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 . jesus christ poor girl ANYWAYS
in season 2, cami starts dressing more her own way, still keeping most of her outfit but changing to a longer sleeved shirt. she keeps her outfit like that until after meeting freddy, which she then changes a whole bunch to what is now my current design for her (pictures for reference :3)
also she has a matching friendship bracelet with eak and ttrap isnt that kinda fucked up .
you might think, oh she started to dress more comfortably and more like her style, she's starting to be more like herself right?? Wrong . she's now imitating joy's personality to be perceived as more kind and charming. she's also trying her hardest to be cheerful but she just. physically cannot. and now not only is it because of her own fears but now owynn is encouraging her to as well. its All fucked up All of it everyone is doomed to hell
the illusion of free choice . dress like other people due to fear of people not liking you but keep your personality or dress (somewhat) how you wanna but imitate other people->identity crisis
cue montage of cami observing various cast members and how unique and different everyone is and how everyone has a good or even just decent relationship with their friends
now cami is soon to realize how aloof and even harsh she's been towards her own friends, and on top of that imitating some girl's personality (who she's now extremely envious of), which she's not even good at doing, and then gets reminded of the past few years where she's just been living off of the appearances and attitudes of people around her, and she can't even remember how she used to act normally or with her friends or how she lived dressing by herself (before relearning how to not that long ago) or the last time she truly saw Herself in her appearance while looking in the mirror even while dressing slightly more freely or if she's ever felt normal amongst a group of people or if she's really ever thought for herself at all
she can't remember the last time she felt like a person
so as she looks at all the people who can think for themselves, be confident in their own appearance, and have their own opinions and behaviors, she can do nothing but simply wish she was one of those people instead as her entire world comes crashing down
so, back to the art piece and the lyrics, "the pursuit of beauty can be destructive and dehumanizing", cami was so focused on coming off as approachable and pretty or at least kind and imitating other people in different ways that she lost all sense of self and she forgot all about what she used to be on her own without leeching off of other people to build a fake persona. now every time she looks in the mirror, she wishes she could see some other "perfect" girl instead of a confused mess, which is why i included other girls of the hs. joy is the reflection at the very top, because that's who cami puts on the highest pedestal. she completely forgets the possibility of any personal problems joy may (and does!) have because of how blinded by envy and her own issues she is. i honestly should've planned out the placement better for joy and mai because they both have the most significance here :PP mai because of more admiration and envy, but on top of that also because of shadow stuff!!! i believe cami can also sense shadow energy like freddy and fred in zero, and she can sense it from the twins. mmmm mm m m that's all i can tell you for now i still have plot holes to fill regarding magic stuff but that's it👍👍
