sharing first kisses (づ_ど)
a first kiss with yoichi is the most tender thing. he is not an experienced man when he meets me, only a couple of sporadic flings that had never gone anywhere, so it’s new both for him and for me. we are each other’s first kiss (yes, at our big age) and we are both so awkward and embarrassed and scared to fumble it all.
a soft kiss in front of the door of my apartment after he insisted on walking me all the way there. “i don’t want you walking alone at night” and so he walks next to me, with his hands in the pockets of his jeans because he’s still unsure about how far he can go with me. he insists on walking me all the way to my front door, not the door to my apartment complex, but that of my own flat, to stay with me a bit longer.
and when we do get there, we just smile, neither of us wanting to leave first. he clears his throat and points to the stairs, telling me that maybe he should go. although, before he moves away, i tell him how much i enjoyed the night and that i had so much fun with him. he can’t get away after that. takes one step closer, saying that he can’t help it but want to spend more time with me and that, even if he has work tomorrow, he’d love to stay and forget about it, but that it’s not the right moment.
one of his hands reaches for mine, trailing its way up my arm, sending shivers down my spine, until it cups my cheek and i melt into his warm palm. “can i kiss you?” i nod without hesitation and so his lips reach mine.
a first kiss with follo has jagged edges and tears rolling down my cheeks. it comes after he awakened his jinki, after he had everyone at head quarters worried about his wellbeing. it comes after the excruciating waiting to know if he’s alright. enjin keeping me distracted, rudo not saying anything about what happened. until eishia told us all “he’s awake.”
my feet stop at the threshold. he sees me and i see him, but everyone else is talking to him, asking what exactly happened. but that’s when eishia removed his bandages and his big scars were set free that my feet start moving. one step, two, i reach the side of his bed and wrap my arms around him tightly.
follo simply freezes. he couldn’t remember the last time we hugged, probably a long time ago when we were still playing in our old neighbourhood in north ward and snow was all we knew. he hugs me back, one single “i’m sorry” slips past his lips and then i break apart.
he feels my shoulders tremble, my hands holding to him for dear life, sobs and tears filling the room and he has no idea what he should do. it’s been so long since the last time i cried. one of his hands caresses my head, letting me stay there in his arms. behind me, the room starts emptying, until it’s only the two of us.
“i thought you were leaving me alone again.” that’s all i can manage to say through thick tears.
kindly, always kindly, like how he used to take care of my frozen fingers, he makes me lift my head up so that i’m looking at him. he has tears in his eyes too, but pushes them back as his thumb dries mine. “i never should’ve vanished without telling you. can you forgive me?”
and i nod. because there was no world in which i could not forgive him and be mad at him, even with all the pain i’ve felt. he presses his forehead against mine and we stay there for a while. in silence. learning how to fit next to one another again. but then his lips meet one of my cheeks, again and again, and i can’t help but blush at the sudden display of affection. they go closer, to the edge of my mouth, and with pleading eyes, big beautiful yellow eyes that seem to be asking will you let me? he waits for me. i move first, he follows me right after and we meet halfway and find each other again
