I hate this fucking routine i always get into every month. Get paid, retail therapy it all in 3 days or less, fall into a depressive episode and stop functioning for a week give or take, be "healthy" for a few days, doe says something fucking dumb and I get pissed, hurt myself to ease my irritation until I smell like a raw meat for a day or two (sometimes this will escalate into a sui/cide attempt), doe gets over her issue for the time being (but will prolly come back in a few months), then by this time she got paid again.