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i dont even know how to express how i feel right now
im just idk mad? unforgiving? either way im so fucking done with doe. im just gonna drink, maybe the words will flow and i can really express how im feeling. i have no more tears, she keeps fucking me over
I hate this fucking routine i always get into every month. Get paid, retail therapy it all in 3 days or less, fall into a depressive episode and stop functioning for a week give or take, be "healthy" for a few days, doe says something fucking dumb and I get pissed, hurt myself to ease my irritation until I smell like a raw meat for a day or two (sometimes this will escalate into a sui/cide attempt), doe gets over her issue for the time being (but will prolly come back in a few months), then by this time she got paid again.
Rinse and repeat.
Every single month.
Will i have the fucking kill myself to escape this make it fucking stop
God how do I make it fuckimg stop. The mood swings, the hate, the highs the lows help me
im so tried i want to die so much she doesnt give a shit about me shes lying to me i hate her i wish someone cared i wish she cared i guess i’ll just drink and chain smoke
hmm shes beginning to treat me just like mom did :)
oh haha arent you fucking perfect? so pure so virgin so holy so hard working so soft so sensitive so damn irritating
god it so like you to leave me all day and let my cry while you do nothing
it hurts not having you here right now
the hours feel so long
