L’amour m’éteint- 1/28/2022
When you said you didn’t love me, j’ai été éteinte. And when you said that I felt like home, that I was your safety, je croissais back to life. And even after you left me and the cold winds blew hard, I did everything I could to shield my flame for you. Because you could come back at any time, and I wanted to be able to keep you warm. Quel dommage that I broke myself to create a home for someone that never wanted to live in it. My fingers were black from the frostbite of winter, black from the flames I tried to warm them on, black and blue but still intact so I could lend a hand to you. The pain of unrequited love isn’t in the rejection. The pain is in the hope; it’s in every single memory that we made up in our heads before you decided they weren’t for you.
It wasn’t me who felt like your home. You loved the frame I created, benefited from the shelter I provided for you as hail beat on my back. You chose not to see that, didn’t look at the weight i held as I supported the fragile house I build for us. You chose to leave so you wouldn’t see it crumble all around me. The guilt of seeing the girl you had proclaimed to be your safety collapse on the ground must have been too great. It must have been in love you left, because why else would you have gone away?