#forbroken

[valanthius-xiv]

Before... Love.

After... Love.

[mischiefs-mistress]

No Prize for Doing What Must Be Done

    As the door closed behind Ric and Sunny, breath the Seer hadn’t realized she was holding released. Her chest ached, lies sour on her tongue as she murmured silent farewells to the couple she considered family. It hadn’t been easy to watch them go, knowing all the while the anger and pain that would likely follow their return. Still, she knew with bone deep certainty it was the right thing.

     Vielynne didn’t linger, retrieving the pre-penned letter from her pack along with the card she’d painted by the early Mor Dhona sun. The piece was happy and vibrant: four familiar figures laughing, forever preserved beneath a thick, clear coating as the sun set behind them. Both items were left upon the side table next to her empty glass, a parting gift not unlike the one she’d affixed to the front of the package she’d placed in Synne’s hands. The words circled in her head as she departed, following her to what would be her final destination.

Beloved Friends, Though I doubt that what I ask is something you'll be able to give for quite some time, I must beg your forgiveness all the same. While I never consciously made the decision to mislead you, I couldn't bring myself to share with you the truth I am now sure of: that we have already said goodbye. It wasn't meant to be this way. You all began as a source of amusement...something to pass the hours as they ticked ever closer to an inevitable end. Harsh, but true. It was never my intention to involve myself in the lives and troubles of others, and yet in each of you...my pack...I have found a light from which I could not turn away. Lights that will not be extinguished, no matter the cost. I have long thought that I was not meant for this world. It is your acceptance, your friendship, and your love that have proven to me that I am wrong. Here, amid your arms and hearts and laughter, is the only place I have ever truly belonged. Take solace knowing that the best parts of me remain with you, always. Ric - do not use this fate as an excuse to close your heart once more. There are others who will need you, and one in particular who's safety I leave in your very capable hands. You will find a way to save her. Never give up - not even to grieve. This is a passion you and I share. Honor me by finding the answers that nobody else can. Sunny - you are my sister in every way that matters, but this is a thread of fate we will not share. You have the power to change lives with a smile and a look. Let that change always be for the better, as it was with me. I leave you with a task massive in measure, but one I'm convinced only you are capable of: protect the pieces of my heart that remain behind. Yourself, included. And because I know that the words are useless now, I entrust them to you, so that in dark days ahead you can offer the reassurance I cannot: I loved Revarik. I love him still. It's a phenomenon that exceeds all reason, all sanity. Even in our worst moments I have seen him for the man he is beneath what another sought to make him, and he is incredible. I do not leave him easily, but because I will not allow him to be another's tool. Ever. Again. My life is fuller, richer, and complete by knowing him and there is peace in what else I believe: that when the day comes that old things are reborn new, we will meet again. All of us. Please forgive me this broken promise, but where I go I must go alone. The game is much bigger than once believed, and I have seen its end: it is not a victory we claim together. There is no prize for doing what must be done: only another day, another dawn, and the safety of those we hold most dear. Don't waste them. Vielynne -----------------------------------------------

Revarik, I promised you I would get you what you needed. Use the serum. It is safe. I am certain enough to swear it on my own heart. Find Shyril Ashlyn. She is the only path to Iados that doesn't end in the Jackal's Games: play, and one of you WILL lose. Stop being an asshole to the people who love you. You are damned lucky to have them considering your ass is currently perched on your shoulders and they would still give you everything they are. Let them. Don't hate me. Loving me may have been, to you, a prison...but to me, loving you has been a breath of freedom: unparalleled and without regret. Real. Certain. Incredible. Worth it. All of my love. Always. Vielynne

Mentions: @valanthius-xiv / @charm-in-spades / @synne-tove

[mischiefs-mistress]

On The Edge of Fate

Vibes (x)

----------

I don't hear the door close. If I slammed it, it was purely unintentional. The silence was suffocating, dead air so recently full of heartbreakingly sweet confessions that I can still taste them. It was more than I could bear, and my shoulders have carried much.

Maybe he's right. Maybe I am jealous, and I've buried the emotion so far under logic and understanding that I can't see it anymore. I do my best to always keep a clear mind...well, as clear as a mind like mine can be...that's what has gotten us this far. I don't lose my shit without good reason...and this? This was too much to ask of anyone. Even me. Especially me. It isn't even about the necklace. I know that, even if he doesn't realize it. It's what the necklace represents: that loving me is not enough to deter him from what he knows will break us. Will hurt me. As if I need more reminders. My hands find my head and suddenly I'm scratching, trying to pry the memory of the previous night from my skull in vain. I scream into the back of one hand, and I hope I've made it far enough that the sound doesn't carry back to him. The bleeding starts again, and I don't care. In this moment I am ready for my fate to claim me. I no longer fear, and the only thing that pulls me back from that sweet, beckoning edge are the things I still have left to do. If nothing else, I always keep my promises. ---------- My stop at the apartment is only long enough to collect the few things I arrived there with: a deck of cards, a few sets of clothing, and a solitary sketchbook. The rest remains for Revarik to do with as he will. He is everywhere, and I feel my eyes sting again as run my fingers over that which was once ours, seeing clearly the memories we've made here. Lucky is the most difficult to leave behind, and I burrow against him for a few long moments before closing the door between us. I haven't gone a day without pain since the Network's assault on the worm, but today it is amplified. Everything hurts, and there's blood on my sleeve, and breathing feels more like gravel in my lungs. I don't know how I keep moving, only that if I stop I will not get back up again. Not tonight, and I have places I need to be by morning. All I can think about as the door closes behind me are our last words: that I have caged him simply by being what I am. That has always been the danger. I cannot change what has been done to me, but I have given every opportunity for freedom with no consequences to follow such a choice. I remember each and every offer, made with an uncomfortable swelling in my chest and a tongue that felt like lead, but made sincerely. It will never be enough to compensate for my burden. I remember now why I never cared to try. Stupid, stupid girl. Don't you know that you were never made to be loved? ---------- Aetheric travel is near unbearable, but I make it as far as Mor Dhona before my knees give out. The air is freezing, but I don't feel it, and I'm not crying anymore even though my eyes feel more like sandpaper than anything else. I'll be in Garlemald by tomorrow evening, my first promise fulfilled. 'Leave me.' The words echo so often that a detached numbness has settled in, and between the flashes of past and present a half-thought plan begins to form. Kairan will deliver what I've asked. I've seen. The second promise no longer requires care to find the answer, as there is no longer reason to tread cautiously. The third presents the most issue, and I cringe even trying to imagine how I will explain to Sunny that it's time for me to leave this place. That, perhaps, she will find her miracle but mine was never part of that gift given now so many months ago. That every second I've spent among them...my pack...has been worth the sacrifice. I know Synne, and I know that she can hold them together long after I've left them. She will protect the people I love most with everything she has, and I have never been more grateful for anything. As I try to think of what to say to her, to Ric, I realize there is no anger left: only a deep and desperate longing. This realization makes the answer easy: that there is no blame to be placed, that I would have made the same choice had our positions been reversed. To love him for me, not condemn him on my behalf. To remind him that I loved him, truly and well, beyond all reason, from this side of the lifestream to the next. With only the moonlight for company I strip out of my clothes, pulling on the stolen shirt. His scent drifts up to me, and for a moment I'm in his arms: safe, warm, and loved. Heavy eyes and heart eagerly accept the fantasy, and when I finally sleep, it is with wet eyes and shallow breaths. There are no dreams left.

Mentions:

@valanthius-xiv / @synne-tove / @charm-in-spades / @neekaxiv (ish)