#forest-chats

[lostinforestbound]

I keep thinking about how Rook thinks they’re expendable

“Hapless Hero” when with Lucanis, “And now I die” said so casually when facing against a god and their Archdemon

They value themselves so little compared to others, including their own teammates

Please someone tell Rook that they’re doing their best and it’s enough

[lostinforestbound]

Guess what I did!!!

[lostinforestbound]

I just realized there was a rolan week and I completely missed it 😭

[lostinforestbound]

So this randomly popped into my mind while playing BG3 and meeting Rolan again at the Grove, and I think it's a cute thought!

Can you imagine that over time, Rolan would pick up skills from his love interest depending on their class?

Like if Tav was a Barbarian/Fighter, he would learn how to effectively do melee with his quarterstaff if he ran out of magic because Tav would teach him. Or basic hand-to-hand combat if Tav was a Monk!

If Tav was a rogue, he could learn how to sneak around effectively, maybe even blend into the shadows without the use of invisibility spells.

If Tav was a ranger/druid, he could catch onto animal behavior and tracking subconsciously. Maybe he would take a potion of animal speaking more often!

Or how about a sorcerer? Rolan is incredibly smart and a quick learner, maybe he could pick up on Metamagic and break the boundary of the Weave! Or pick up a completely different class of magic from his Wizard love interest!

Maybe he would pick up an instrument or two from his Bard lover! How about some healing skills from his Cleric/Paladin partner?

So much to think about!! What would you think Rolan would learn from your Tav?

[lostinforestbound]

No thoughts head empty just rolans heroic spouse creating lip balm (similar to modern one with how easy it is to use and carry) just for Rolan 🥺

Oh my god that would be so fucking sweet!

Suddenly jumping from apprentice to master of the tower would be so stressful! A lot of work is suddenly on his shoulders at once and he has trouble navigating it in a timely matter. There's back orders, there's many tomes to organize, he has to check in on funds and supplies for sorcerous sundries, and gods damn it all why did Lorroakan organize these damn potions like this?? On top of all of that, he has to make time to study the weave, and also make time for his siblings.

He was already a lip biter, but it's now worse than ever. The skin is now breaking, chapped, and most times bleeding. Most days he doesn't dare look in the mirror to look at his disheveled state.

When his partner notices, they're concerned. When they kiss him, they sometimes taste blood and it makes them worry for him. He insists it's not a big deal, but they don't believe him for a minute.

So they make a lip balm, one that heals the skin but also completely moisturizes it. It smells incredible.

Rolan is shocked when they present it to him for the first time. It renders him speechless, especially when they decide to take some of it on their finger and gently apply it to his lips for him. It's the sweetest, kindest gesture they're ever done, and warmth enters his face when they kiss him right afterwards. It tastes like cherries.

He adds that lip balm to his morning routine and carries it around while he works. He still bites at his lips as it's not the perfect solution, but he at least remembers to put it on when his lips peel again.

When it runs out, he shyly asks if they could make another one, but have it taste like peaches.

[lostinforestbound]

Just a thought:

Rolan with a partner who's much more powerful than him (think of a character that's Level 20)

Would he be jealous of them? Feel proud of them? Feel inadequate next to them? Does he think they deserve someone at their level and not some fool attempting to be an archmage? Would he try to overcompensate for his shortcomings by giving them anything they want? Or would he distance himself due to his own insecurity? Is he expecting them to leave as soon as someone more accomplished than him walks by?

He has the tower and his studies, but will it ever be enough for them? Will it ever be enough for him?

Or would he not care about those things at all?

[lostinforestbound]

You’ve mentioned in a couple of posts that you headcanon Rolan as having depression/a panic disorder. What other headcanons about his mental health do you have?

Anon, I have so many yet so little thoughts about this very topic! I'll try to be as cohesive as I can because my mind can be pretty jumbled. Thank you for your patience!

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional! Just someone who also has mental health issues and can relate.

CW: Mentions of Self-harm (Scratching and picking)

Besides those two, I also believe he has a nightmare disorder! These are chronic, vivid nightmares that can either appear briefly or multiple times a night. They can be frightening, upsetting, and disturbing. Usually, his nightmares involve his mother Cal and Lia's mother, and after Lorroakan's abuse, start to involve him as well.

It absolutely does not help hat he usually remembers every detail as he sits there, heart pounding erratically and sweat soaking his night shirt. Sometimes they're so bad it sends him into a panic attack. In a weak attempt to stay grounded, he scratches at himself, sometimes bleeding since his nails are pretty sharp. He may end up vomiting as well depending of the contents of the dream. (Panic attacks can be extremely overwhelming for the body!)

He usually can't fall back asleep afterwards, so he'll work on a scroll, study the weave, or check inventory at Sorcerous Sundries depending on the time of night. Some nights he does nothing, just staring at the wall for hours while picking at his skin, especially around his nails.

When he has someone with him, it's easier to ground himself since they're quick to action when he can't function. Weighted blankets or his partner laying on top of him is great; even a crushing bear hug from Cal and Lia helps.

Before Tav, before a partner, right at the beginning of moving into the tower, he randomly got graphic nightmares of Cal and Lia dying. This made him scramble to their rooms to check on them and make sure they were still breathing, much to their sleepy confusion.

Things do get better with time! Natural medicine and breaking bad habits with the help of his family improve his way of living. While these issues may stick with him for the rest of his life, they become much more manageable with his support system.

[lostinforestbound]

Literally anytime I see any new kudos on my fics or receive a comment I just-