Hello! I want to include demigender characters in my writing, but I haven't been able to find many resources. I understand that demigender people go by both gender-neutral pronouns and she/her or he/him, but I was wondering if this is the case all the time or if there are certain situations where people would use certain pronouns. When writing in the 3rd person, how often should I switch the pronouns & how do I keep it from being too confusing for the readers?
So you’re right, you’re limited by a) the medium, b) the audience, and c) the prominence of the character. You don’t want to lose your reader, especially if you’re using a secondary character who’s not in every scene.
How does your character present themselves socially? I know a lot of non-binary people who use less common pronouns, but many people will default socially to ‘they/them.’ Your character might do the same, and depending on the POV of the novel, that might be how they’re referred to as unless corrected. Some enby folks stick to ‘any pronoun is okay’ and feel comfortable being addressed in any way. Keep both your character’s role and your audience in mind - you won’t have to clarify pronoun use for most adult fiction, but you might for younger audiences.
What is their narrative role? If they are a small secondary character, you’re not going to have a lot of justified reasoning to stop and clarify which pronoun they’re using today unless the main character knows to ask. If they’re a strong secondary character, like a best friend, it would be more natural for this conversation to come up (and your non-binary character would likely bring it up, if they preferred to be addressed by ‘he’ or ‘she’ on that particular day). If they’re the main character, you have all the excuse in the world to explain the pronoun change and why.
Don’t hide things from the reader. If there’s something the character knows, the reader should know too, and by conveying that knowledge via a conversation, thought, or clarification in text helps keep your reader on track - this holds true for all aspects of your book, not just how a character is addressed!
As always, have critique partners. There’s no way you’ll nail this on the first try. Seek out help, and get more than one person to read your work, to make sure you’re being clear at all times.