#forgoodguys

[lilaetleloup]

This ordeal can enable us to learn from our mistakes and build a better world. But a negative person won't ever so it: he will never take his responsibilities.

It will fall on us, then, positive people, to take care of it.

[lilaetleloup]

the signs that point to a manipulator II

5. he doesn’t cope well with criticism

At all. He loves himself and you have to love him too. Absolutely. Without any reserve. The tiniest whiff of a criticism will be met by veiled hostility or better yet, if he can afford it, total war.

To a manipulator the Pope isn’t the only one to be infallible.

6. he doesn’t take any responsibility

And this goes with the precedent trait as whipped cream matches with strawberries. The narcissist is never responsible for anything. It’s always someone else’s fault. Therefore, you don’t have the right to criticize him. Or to judge him, lèse-majesté crime that should be punished as before, with whipping and no cream.

The ego, again, protects its human from any psychological emotion that would have him suffer or would weaken him when he’s fighting in the mud. Responsibility could lead to doubt and sense of culpability. Which in turn could have you feel bad and hesitate before hitting the adversary. No way!

Taking responsibility for our actions is what enables us, generous people, to admit to our mistakes and get better in the process. No worry then: the manipulator is already perfect.

7. he acts or speaks in bad faith

Consequence of the previous point. And to the manipulator, it’s a tennis game to hit the ball back in the other’s field. It’s also pure dialectic, this oratory art that seems to be too much appreciated in politics. And is not so complicated, it would seem, as it is routinely used by kids under six who can argue till they lack breath or get what they wish.

To win an point doesn’t mean you are right.

If, on the contrary, you are a good guy and speak in good faith, it’s an exercise in management of frustration to try to have a reasonable argument with a manipulator when he’s wrong. Which he is, most of the time.

He’ll never admit to anything, will attack and hit you back. Where he knows it will hurt. To him, it’s a duel, a verbal joust.

If you finally explode and get angry, all the better. You go direct to the 13. case, on which I will expand later on: he is the victim, you are obviously hysterical.

8. relativism and whataboutism

No good person is perfect. He/she will have his/her faults, past, traumatisms. And make mistakes. But a good guy has mostly good intentions. And will try to improve.

In the other team, the manipulators has no good intention for others, as he deserves everything. But the mask he gets to wear has him do nice things. Sigh, what you have to do to earn your bread and your daily fix of admiration...

Good guys will act wrongly and bad guys will invest in generosity and humanitarian organizations to perfect their image.

It doesn’t change anything to the person’s essence, which shows in the intention: evil is evil whatever the mask and causes inevitable damages.

But it sure proves handy for the manipulator who will use relativism to get out of some difficult situations. When he is, for example – horror of horrors – criticized. And it looks like that: “Nobody is perfect.” “We are all sinners. Don’t throw stones.” “And whatabout him, who said this? Whatabout her, who has done that?”

9. he lies and lies and lies

Above anything you can imagine. He doesn’t simply lie, he reinvents truth. And I wrote about this in a previous article.

10. he projects

It’s one of the “bad faith” characteristics: his fragile ego and emotional immaturity won’t have him take any responsibility and will stick his own faults on you. He is incapable of shouldering them, anyway.

What he holds against you? It’s what he is.

(to be continued...)