when my tumblr title says former trad i need you to know that i was a former trad. former trad in the sense that i was engaged to a man and i was going to convert to his chosen form of Christianity.
a trad in the sense that i decided to drop out of college to be with him because that's what he asked of me.
a trad girlfriend in the sense that i would stay in his apartment all day long, cleaning for him, doing his laundry and being bored out of my mind for him.
a trad in the sense that i truly believed that i would never have children and be home with my children if i was not with a man who made it a priority for his significant other to be home
a trad in the sense that i fell in love with the first man in college who gave me attention and desired my undying loyalty
a trad fiancee in the sense i truly was going to marry this man and i deeply had to be with this man. This man i was planning to be the father of my children, who would not let me sleep in peace, who drank constantly after he finished work.
a trad in the sense that i thought truly that my worth came down to how pretty i seemed to my partner and knew that he took pleasure in how lovely i looked to his family and coworkers. a trad in the sense that if i gained weight, complained like a cunt or looked unattractive that i would be talked down to or worse
a trad in the way i called my dad asking him to come over and help me leave while my fiance was at work.
a woman in the sense that i learned rather late that there's more to my life than my appearance and how men perceive me