2014-2015, in my eyes, was the year of break-ups. I know of broken relationships, broken engagements, broken promises & the worst of all... Broken hearts. It's a most tragic end to what could've been eternal. And no matter how much the world is changing and people are evolving, I believe that everyone is looking for things of permanence.
We grow up being taught that "life is too short" & that "moments are fleeting", and all we want to do is claim or be claimed by something for eternity. We set out looking for it, and lose ourselves in the constant search. Sometimes, this is almost a subconscious longing. You program yourself to enjoy being single, but you know deep down that any sign of affection and attention from someone you fancy is a switch turned on. And then auto-pilot kicks in & you're overthinking again. Making plans for an imaginary future that only you envision. A fairytale, for some. You keep telling yourself you're deserving of it. That if A, B & C can have it and make it work, you can too.
So why is it that reality is so different? Why is it that things we want most never come to us in the state of permanence that we hope it would? Why doesn't it last? Could it be, that with every broken heart, we're losing our vulnerability? Our childish enthusiasm for things? That we are more adept at building walls at a rapid pace? At dismissing possibilities at the slightest hint of distaste or incompatibility? Are we growing impatient? Could it be, that while we call ourselves romantics & believers in love, we're letting our made-up standards rule us? Being too picky? Being too afraid to either let people in, or be alone? Shutting ourselves into corners, but wanting to be in company also? Only choosing what we know won't work for us because it fits some 'category'? Could it be that we're too busy either looking for the metaphorical one, or avoiding those we've admonished for not fitting the bill? Can we instead just rest, breathe and enjoy time with ourselves, like we promised? Or can we just call a time-out so our hearts can heal?
I don't know about you but I've decided to just take in my life and peace out for a while. What's the worst that could happen?
[via PEACH + NEBULA]