#foster moms

[reiv]

No one and I mean no one fucking understand what it is to be a step mom. Let me start off dear friend I am not a mom. I never been one, I could have been one but I never been a mom to anyone biologically. I’m a step mom. I’m a stranger. I’m a nobody to these kids. I struggle already with anxiety and depression that I have been working on for 20 years. I was 8 when it all began, but that’s not the point the point is, is that I was struggling to better myself.

Then I met my kids dad. His and I were childhood sweethearts we went off in our own direction and he became a father of four and Me a college student drop out struggling to find her purpose in life. Me and my BF moved incredibly fast moving in together and then a year later, his kids are in the states custody. So it a matter of 48 hrs, the wreck I am became a mom. Now I never got a chance to give birth, I never changed a diaper, clipped nails, wiped someone else’s ass other than my own. Up until those 48hrs… I had to step up. (Mind you me and my man were already going through a rough patch)

It was a good start, then everyone’s true colors came out. Even mine, I never realized how impatient I am. I never realized how annoyed I get, I irritated I get, how much my heart rate fluctuates. Like damn I’m surprised I haven’t suffered a heart attack or stroke by now. (Sorry if that offends people) but I hyperventilate and have panic attacks probably 2-3 times a day.

I was treated as a nobody so I enter the relationship with his kids, as a nobody. I’m told, they’re great loving kids , their so sweet and nice.

Bitch, where?

I get talked back, eyes rolled, yelling at me, fighting, messes, sassy ass attitudes more than I get an I love you. Shit, I NEVER.. heard I love you.

Why am I the bad guy? Why does my man think I make this about me? What do I have to do with ANY of the shit going on with the way they treat me? Like wtf did I do to deserve this but if anger?

Like I’m mad I get disrespected in MY HOUSE? my house? Would y’all allow anyone to disrespect you in your house every single fucking day. From morning to night? All you get is disrespect. Let’s hope and pray they wake up in a good mood because that sets my mood. I’m sooooo big on following peoples energy of your ugly and mean, I will make sure you won’t come for me because I will be uglier and meaner. If you give me attitude I will reply back with attitude. If you RESPECT me, then I will REPECT you back.

Like what am I doing wrong? Please MOMs out there, adoptive moms out there, foster moms, Forster kids ANYONE who understands mixed homes pleeeeeease tell me what am I doing wrong?

I cook for them, I clean their rooms, I do their laundry, I take them to school, I help them with homework, I buy their clothes, I settle all the fights and crying and whining. I get to deal with the attitudes and disrespect and have to tolerate it. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? I don’t say I love you because they never showed me affection I’m assuming they don’t want it from me . They don’t hug me (I also don’t force anything because I want to respect their space) they don’t say I love you. Like what am I doing wrong other than just trying to help THEM out?

I do feel like I need to work on my patience and not allow anything to get to me. Can anyone out there pleeeeease tell me or give me something to work with ?

[manousyren]

Casual Lesbeings

I have lived with my foster moms sinds I was 6 and my brother 8. We still have positive contact with our parents. 

I remember one day just thinking about my foster mom’s friends. And I came to a startling realization.

That I knew at least 5 adult Lesbian couples. 

It just snuck up on me. I had never thought about it. It just was that way. They were all just two women, loving and living together. One couple has two kids. 

[logantheanimal]

Because I Can

Being a foster mom can be a challenge sometimes. I had to grow up fast. I couldn’t just disappear for a few days anymore. I had to set a good example. I needed to provide a positive influence for a child whose entire life had been completely fucked up by a meth-addicted mother and a raging abusive stepfather. She learned the worst lessons of her life in their care.

Lemme tell ya...the first time we couldn’t reach Biomom and The Kid said, “she’s out in Van Buren turning tricks” like it was no big deal, I about choked on air.

Those awful lessons she learned are coming out in one of the worst ways now that she’s in college. She has horrible taste in men AND women - and she’s now in love with a guy who is taking advantage of her. I have a few things to say.

Dear Fred,

I know you don’t love my daughter. You told her you didn’t want a relationship. She is nothing more than a booty call to you. You have demonstrated that time and again. What’s more, you know that she does love you, and you’re taking quite a bit of Liberty with that fact. I know that, not long ago, one of your roommates asked you why you had sex with her after supposedly breaking it off.

You chuckled and replied, “because I can.”

No. That is not acceptable. That is piece-of-shit, man-whore, rape culture-style asshattery. I haven’t met you in person and I already despise you to the point that if I ever *do* meet you in person, it is unlikely to end well.

I can’t control her life. Both myself and her other foster mom tried like hell to teach her to respect herself enough to stay away from fuckwits like you, but clearly her early life lessons took better than ours. You know the score here, douche canoe, and you care about nothing but being able to use someone for your pleasure. You are a garbage human being.

Stop using my daughter. Grow the fuck up and learn to be respectful. You don’t love her, so stop leading her on. Teach her the lesson she refuses to learn: that you are not the kind of person she should ever be with. Break it off and never speak to her again.

Sincerely,

On very pissed-off mom

[sherrieeldridge]

One Adoptee Carries On Her mom's Tradition

One Adoptee Carries On Her mom's TraditionAdoptive moms have no idea of the memories of love they're creating for their kids. They can't even fathom, nor entertain the idea that THEY are a gift to their adopted children--her persona, her everyday activiti

When I was a little girl, my Mom threw a big party after the Christmas Eve service at their church. It was as fancy as a little town can be, and Mom wore the same thing every year-a purple velvet dress. It was stunning and how I loved it on her. Of course, as a child, I didn’t realize what an impression that the purple dress made, but if you asked me today about a favorite Christmas memory, it…

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[sherrieeldridge]

Validating The Profound Wound of Adoptive Moms

Validating The Profound Wound of Adoptive Moms

Moms, when you considered adopting, you wanted nothing more than to become a safe haven of love for your child, but instead, without either you nor your child desiring it, unresolved adoptee anger bonded you together in a seemingly impossible situation.

It was that way for my mom and me. She wanted to pour love into me from day one when my maternal grandmother brought me home on adoption day.…

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[prism-empurress]

 LEMME TELL Y'ALL ABOUT THE LOVELY COUPLE MELISSA AND NORA!

They have two youtube channels, they;re working on migrating to one but right now they're temporarily inactive because of Hurricane Dorian. But they're ok!

Melissa and Nora are foster mommies for kittens and sometimes mama cats too! Their latest fosters was a litter consisting of mama, 4 white kittens + 1 black kitten. They were in really bad shape when they were brought in, but it's thanks to Melissa and Nora that the family is happy, healthy and in forever homes! Two kittens are still recovering from health issues, but they'll be up for adoption in the future. (One kitten was a foster fail; Melissa and Nora adopted him into the family)

Watching their videos, it is amazing to see how their fosters flourish under their care. They're also relaxing to watch, and some videos are even informative which is neat! They also have wishlists for donors to pitch in with any supplies they need in order to continue doing what they do.

Here are their channels, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFju_FN9sjCTcnCns5Hj6Yg (old, still active)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsYOBKmHxJWzVqtjldyMw0g (new, still active)

[sherrieeldridge]

One Adoptee Discovers Late Mom's Legacy of Love

One Adoptee Discovers Late Mom’s Legacy of Love

I never dreamed I’d be writing a book about her…my late adoptive mom, that is.

It felt like I never loved her…in fact, I hated her.

Now, something quite unexpected is happening.

Warm memories are surfacing. I can smell her apple pie, see her take care of my kitty, and feel her gentle hands rubbing warm oil on my childhood asthmatic chest.

Had something changed in my brain?

Why the warm memories?

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[sherrieeldridge]

Is Adoptee Anger My Life Sentence?

Is Adoptee Anger My Life Sentence?

Many of us adoptees wonder if anger is our life sentence. It’s been a constant companion since childhood and even though attempts like are made to quell it, it’s a strong as ever.

Once a counselor told me to just scream when I feel angry. The next time I felt angry, I screamed in the middle of a session. She jumped at least three feet.

But, screaming didn’t help.

It’s important to understand how…

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