#found tribe

[a-lion-in-summer]

(FT 4/4) A number of people in this anthology mentioned “for awhile I thought maybe I was bi, but that was just me trying to force myself to date women when really I was gay.” Okay, that’s how your life experience went, but where are the bi men? It got me thinking about how rarely I find things written from that perspective. It shouldn’t be surprising: lesbian anthologies from that era are also prone to be lesbian-only, rather than the more recent works that highlight the specific views and experiences of bisexual- or queer-identified women; men less commonly identify as bisexual rather than monosexual compared to women based on research I read. Regardless, I find myself wanting some feel-good affirmation pieces written by men about yes, I’m bi, I could exclusively date women and make my life easier and I really have liked women I’ve dated romantically, but also I like men too, and neither of those things are a phase or a fake, and whether I am currently in a relationship with a man or a woman I continue to be proudly bi.

[a-lion-in-summer]

(FT 3/4) And nothing like reading about gay men to make me grateful to be ace. The theme I hear most often is the counterpoint between not wanting to be gay and really, really wanting to have sex with men. I treat the latter as an anthropologist observing my subjects: yes, I’ve definitely heard that sentiment before so I believe it’s a thing, but I’ve never experienced anything approaching that kind of horniness myself, even as a teenager. Yes, when my sex drive is activated I feel kind of prickly for a few hours until I jack off or forget about it, but not something that shapes my entire life, batters against walls of shame and self-discipline, makes me simultaneously happy and unhappy, decides who I spend time with and how much danger I put myself in.

Also, these are stories written in the ‘90s about people who mostly came out in the ‘70s. While certainly things can still be bad today, culture has shifted a lot. People have heard of gay people. By and large acceptance is much higher, especially in liberal, Jewish environments. While interesting historically, the sheer level of rejection many people experienced doesn’t feel relevant to my life. The level of shame too: I personally was occasionally confused but never upset about the idea I might be bi or ace. I am aware telling the wrong people or disclosing in the wrong circumstances can lead to danger or at least lack of understanding, but I see that as being the other people’s problem, not some flaw in myself. Being bi or being ace are occasionally inconvenient in a society geared to cater to the majority groups, but it’s a minor inconvenience in my life, not worth getting worked up over.

[a-lion-in-summer]

(FT 2/4) Nothing like reading about Jews to remind me of how intensely and instinctively I look down on anyone less observant or more observant than I am. Also, trying to keep in mind where the latter is concerned that I’m not nearly as observant as I think myself to be. I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve been to schul since starting college ten years ago. I observe the major holidays and festivals very haphazardly or not at all. I have few Jewish friends and certainly am not active in the community. I try to live ethically, and certainly see things from a Jewish perspective compared to a Christian one but only occasionally notice this fact.

All in all, I was raised a lot more religious than I am in my twenties. The twenties seem like a weird lag in observance, after college youth groups but before having children. You’re supposed to come back to the synagogue to enroll your children in Hebrew School. But now? It’s just my parents urging me to join “Jewish young professionals singles groups.” I have intense problems with dating, given I hate 99% of strangers and am ace. My boyfriend is Catholic in the way I’m Jewish: we were raised that way, we think of ourselves as part of that religious, but our actual observance is far and few between and distant from official doctrine in many ways. I would care if either of us wanted kids.

[a-lion-in-summer]

(FT 1/4) “I never entertained the belief that I was part of the majority. Does any Jew? Even if you’re brought up in New York as I was, you don’t feel that you’re the average Joe. To the contrary, everything conspires to remind you that as a Jew you’re a tiny fraction of the population, and that you would be entirely overlooked if you weren’t so insistent and scrappy. In fact, since Jews make up less than two percent of the population, and gays make up (let’s be conservative) eight percent, when I came out, I joined a minority four times larger.”

--“Pink Triangles and Yellow Stars: Growing Up Jewish and Gay” by David Bergman

[headscratcher]

It appears that an undocumented tribe has been spotted in the Brazilian jungle. Their perfectly rational response: "What the fuck is that thing in the air and should I shoot it with my bow and arrow?"

The Indians appear to be Panoan, a tribe native to eastern Peru and western Brazil, said Survival International research director Fiona Watson.