#fox-spark

[archivingheartbeats]

You swore yourself a house

With no fire escapes,

A ship with no lifeboats.

While I was still thinking of caution

You said you would go down with me,

Go down beneath green waves.

There's a chance of us becoming

Coral-covered bones,

But we might get so lucky

We are magicked into mermaids.

The ship you built our birthplace,

No stress of drowning,

Just a private grotto.

If the house ever went up in flame

You are betting on us being phoenix,

Eggs miracle enough to hatch

New life from ashes.

You leap faith and I watch feathers grow

To wing you even higher.

You swear you will not Icarus

But kiss the sun,

Run its firelight honey down your face,

Bring all that life back in your faithful fledge

To pass the kiss onto my brow.

How are you so confident you will not break,

Or that breaking will be worthwhile

As long as we are hand in hand?

Oh my luckiest accident,

My sun-golden blue-eyed girl,

My cleverest wild thing,

Tricksy but faithful Fox.

You believe in me so loud

You make me sing again,

With notes I thought were dust and death

In withered lungs.

You make me hope us mermaid,

Phoenix:

Sun-kissed we'll swim or soar.

[archivingheartbeats]

Kindred Spirits

[4/15/23]

We were just children,

Sunburn on our shoulders,

Seeking connection

With someone our age.

Two hearts on fire

In a hotbed of zealots,

Debating books and music

After a sudden embrace.

Oh, we were children,

Thought we were so grown-up;

Heads frothing with thinking

Denied and dismissed.

Sand-castle dreams,

Hoped or feared predestination;

Eager to be authors,

Brief island of bliss.

We both wore such shadows

Over those shoulders,

One-pieces, camp tee shirts,

And struggles at home. 

Our sisters conspired

And inspired a chance meeting,

The spark struck at greeting

Came aflame as we roamed.

[archivingheartbeats]

Wonder

[4/30/26]

You call me perfect in my imperfection,

Though I offer no deception.

Treat me like a shining star.

In my brokenness I must

Still be enough to hold your trust,

As your eyes gild every scar.

By some bright, welcome mystery,

You name me a worthy tapestry.

You would take this, every part,

Into the home of your brilliant heart.

[castingmysilver]

It will be a very busy day.

Continuing cosplay prep, possibly some laundry, two videocalls -- aunt in the morning and my precious Fox-Spark tonight for the first time in a long while -- big family dinner. Gonna try to both hydrate and caffeinate routinely, play whatever music keeps me moving, and hang in there as much as possible.

I did get some early-night rest but it will still be a long day, although hopefully a good one.

[archivingheartbeats]

Between the Worlds

---

There is a place somewhere, where a Door lies open for us both. In that place your wild-rose brambles and my dream-woods can meet, and we can wander between the two yipping and howling and making more trouble than just one dreamworld can contain.

Most excellent Fox, I may be but a good dog at home but I still have a little of the Wolf in me. Sometimes I dream of her, the gangly little reddish werewolf cub her found-Pack call Fox Fur. Her story began as a gift but it seeped into my bones. I wonder what it would be like, having her whole forest to roam in, permission to be a wild thing and not fear so many rules, not be on a leash. But the best of her daydream is the thought of having folk who belong to her, *lots* of them, who accept her and who she cannot lose.

But the first packmate I have in this world of rules and concrete and iron is no wolf. She's laughing canines and bushy tail alright, but she's kin to trickster-folk, and Fox in blood not just in name. And though she wanders in human skin, fair and golden and cornflower blue, she knows how to run and bite and hold knowledge fast, fishing it out of the wild places. 

You are not tame. You are not tame. You are not tame.

You are precious, but not because anyone has tamed you. You are loved and worthy as a wild thing with a heart which belongs to herself. You should bite any hand that would touch you carelessly. Bite hard and draw blood, most precious of packmates. I wish that I could bite with you, and summon other wolves from the good wild places to make them *fear.*

I wish you the best in all biting and fighting. But once the danger is done, come to me again. Come to the strange Doors and the wild Doors, where forest and rose-bramble meet, and let us run together somewhere beyond all the stupid fences and sing to the wind and the moon....