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Piecing together- Part 1

This is a dad! Roger Taylor series I am working on which is a follow on from Fractured Pieces.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @rogahs-drowse

Summary: Roger is a single dad to James who is the centre of his world, but has a lot of medical problems/ illnesses.

Fractured pieces masterlist

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Leaning his head to the side, Roger folded his arms over his chest as he leaned against the kitchen counter behind him. His brows raising as he looked at his boy, clearly but silently asking if he was lying or not.

James wasn't the type of child who would lie unless it was simply to play a joke on Roger which he knew was fine. But Roger knew if James got anxious or didn't want to do something or go somewhere he would exaggerate a little which he what he sensed James was doing now.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #imagine #dad! ben #Single Dad #freddie mercury #john deacon #Brian May #fractured pieces #piecing together

Fractured pieces (Loki one shot)

summary: Loki was kidnapped by Thanos, stuff happened and then other stuff happens ( i cant say much without spoiling)

genres: angst and aftermath of torture

word count: 1381

“Its okay Loki no one can hurt you now” tony tried to reassure him “Thanos is dead, he can’t come after you now. I am here, don’t worry” Tony really wasn’t good at this. He never had been good at emotions or the like. He barely knew how to handle himself and his own nightmares, how was he supposed to be good at something as big as this?

It was fairly obvious he had taken the wrong approach, as the name of the warlord name sent Loki, into another fit of nightmarish screams, that Tony was sure he would have ringing in his ears for days on end. It was a great fight in controlling the flailing limbs as they warded off ghost of Loki’s mind. Some bruises were bound to appear all over Tony’s body, from when he had been kicked and punched in an effort to get him away. Non-seeing eyes was searching for his own, and tony rewarded them with all the care and love he could muster up and embedded it into his eyes. It seemed to relax the god a little, with some hope in his heart Tony hoped it was because Loki started to come back.

This had been going on for a while now. The god, or what was left of him, would wake up with a scream, and Tony would try his damned best to calm him down. Sometimes it didn’t work and with his heart full of dread and good intentions, had he been forced to shoot a tranquilizer gun into his Loki. He never enjoyed those times, but still even if it was with a scream and panic that showed when Loki woke up, it was by far better than the times when he wondered if he was even alive at all. Loki would lay limb and colourless, only the minimal heave of his chest would give the notion that he was somewhat alive underneath it all. His breathing was uneven and it was only the machines that were hooked up to him, that could detect that he was even alive. If alive was a far stretch of the word that is. Most sane people would have given up on the god by now, but Tony wasn’t exactly sane and he wasn’t about to give up on him now, not after all the stuff they had endured together.

At first he never thought he would feel like this about the god. Hell even himself would have called him crazy, if they had met face too face today. But then so long ago Loki had just gone straight into a S.H.I.E.L.D base and had offered his services in the war to come. Everyone had been on edge at first. But the god hadn’t even batted an eye when one of the demands was that he was too be staying in Stark Tower until further notice. Everyone had been suspicious at first, but then something changed. He didn’t know how to really explain it, but Loki laughed and he was just generally light. And the Avengers (only just him at first) started to really see him. He had exchanged information about the war to come exchange for information on trivial things. And then one day it had all gone to hell. Perhaps even the most disastrous thing about it was that Jarvis hadn’t noticed something was wrong, which was one of the key factors to why the great Tony Stark had doubted and questioned himself. At first most about everyone had thought that Loki had gone to play for the enemy, though there weren’t anyone who even dared to say so in front of Tony. But he wasn’t dumb on the whispers in the dark; it was his tower after all. So Tony had buried himself in surveillance tapes, codes and had Jarvis run several system checks at once, until they found the flaw. He still remembered the day like it was yesterday, in truth it did feel like it was, so many things had happened since then, that his brain just jumbled it all together.

But Jarvis had found the flaw. Someone had somehow avoided Jarvis sensors, and destroyed all knowledge of the intruders being here. The added fact that they were invisible only served to the annoyingly obvious fact, that no one had known this had been going on, not even Tony, while he had been in the tower! Yeah sure most of them had been out that day, and Tony and Bruce as the only Avengers in the resident, had been hauled up in their laboratory several floors above the god. While in reality about 16 Chitauri’s and one other creature, that based on Loki’s stories could only be The Other, had broken in and stolen his god. He hadn’t gone down without a fight though; he had killed 6 and mortally wounded 3. In truth, if the Other hadn’t been there, the chances of him winning had been at a greater scale. But they had won. Loki had been knocked out cold, and while unconsciousness had been carried towards a portal of some kind. Tony had relived that day over and over, trying to right the wrongs that had been done, tormenting himself with scenarios that were too late to change.

Then they had thought him dead, which was perhaps even worse than thinking him a traitor. They had too rectify that thought, when Loki showed up again. This time with Thanos, standing firmly on his side. This was at the prime of the war and Thor had been so full off sorrow, seeing his brother in that state, on a battlefield on the side where he shouldn’t have been. Loki was in no way fit for a fight, but still he followed his master’s command like docile little dog, when it was asked for him to kill Thor. Loki’s face was blank but scars were covering it, bearing the fact what had been done to him. They had gone off to gods nowhere, where it was impossible for Tony to follow the fight.

Then out of the blue Loki had come back, walked straight towards Thanos, with green magic practically seeping out of him in rage. He didn’t know how to properly explain it other than; Loki had walked towards Thanos and then in the midst of battle had directed all his magic, into destroying the glove that clad Thanos hand. The fight had seemed won, and even Tony the forever-doubtful Tony, felt a shred of hope glowing in his heart. That hope had been torn to shreds, when the last feat Thanos made was to put his hand on Loki’s head. Besides Loki no one knew any magic, so what had been done was even beyond Tony. Asgard had sent its finest healers, but even they gave up at some point or the other. No one understood what had happened. Loki was standing firm and clear, and then the next he was seemingly dead. Only the rise and fall of his chest told another story.

He had been that way for a couple of months, seemingly dead but not quite there yet. Like he was locked inside his own nightmare. His mind to be exact. It was only after one and a half month that he started to come out of it in small waves. If you could say screaming and panicked coming out of it, then yeah that is what happened. The only thing that Tony could do about this, was hoping that this was a good thing. And Tony really wasn’t any good at hoping, so instead he had sought to bury himself in a daze off booze and drunkenness. He didn’t care about the looks the others gave him, the only thing he wanted was for Loki to come back. So he waited, and he hoped, and he drank himself to sleep. He comforted Loki when he woke up, in hope that it would be strong enough for him to stay. And every time it failed, he could feel a little shred of his heart disappear. Until it did work. And Tony finally knew that it was over, and his hope had payed off, however small it had been at the end.

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #tony stark #loki laufeysonXtonystark #lokiXtony #frostiron #loki oneshot #loki angst #loki aftermath of torture #avenger tower #mention of bruce #fanfiction #loki fanfiction #fractured pieces

Fractured pieces- Masterlist

A new Roger Taylor series that I am working on which has the storyline of ‘I do love you’ and ‘Our boy’ but with a twist in the tale. (Completed).

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

I do love you masterlist

Our boy masterlist

Summary: Roger’s best friend (Y/n) passed away having their son, now the drummer is left to look after their boy on his own. He made a promise to love and protect his boy, so that is just what he will do.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #Single Dad #imagine #queen band #fractured pieces #freddie mercury #Brian May #john deacon

Fractured pieces- Part 9

Another part to my single dad! Roger Taylor series which I hope you are all enjoying.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Roger's eyes locked onto the small round glass of whiskey sitting on the desk in front of him, wishing that he could just down the bottle but he knew that wasn't a good idea nor would it be the best option since James was here. Roger couldn't get bladdered in case James woke up and needed something and yet the idea was so tempting to him.

Being drunk would help to take some of the pain away, the pain that had been a frequent friend to Roger at this time over the past for years.

He hated the fact that he felt angry and hurt and in agony around James' birthday because that wasn't fair. Roger had to try so hard to keep a lid on his emotions when all he wanted to do was throw a tantrum and break everything, to scream and shout and sob. He wanted to stay in bed all day and let the sorrow overtake. Roger wanted to lay and scream or go to (Y/n)'s apartment and go through her things with tears streaming down his face with each memory that he came across. Yet Roger also wanted to feel normal. He wanted to feel happy and excited and his usual giddy self because it was his boy's birthday. His boy whose doctors had doubted he would get past a month old who was now going to turn five next month.

Roger should be excited for this, he should be happy instead of feeling like he wanted to curl up under the covers of his bed and stay there until these feelings passed. He shouldn't be going through the same turmoil that he went through almost five years ago now. He shouldn't be conflicted, feeling like he should have been the one to die instead of (Y/n) because she was the one who had ensured James would be alright. She had died to save him when Roger wanted her to live instead of their boy, a decision Roger regretted ever thinking about because it was too confusing and hurtful.

The drummer shouldn't be wishing that he never had that one night stand with (Y/n) because she would be alive if they didn't at the cost of not having James. Roger could have one without the other when he wanted to be selfish, he wanted to be greedy and have them both in his life but he couldn't and that hurt more than words could ever express.

At the sound of the door creaking open ever so slightly, Roger turned his head sharply to the left. Rubbing the few tears from his eyes when he noticed James standing in the doorway. Roger's eyes narrowed when he noticed the look of worry on James' features, watching him brushing tears from his own eyes for reasons Roger wasn't aware of yet. His head was leaning against the door, one arm wrapped around his middle to make sure Roger's baggy jumper stayed on him instead of falling from his shoulders.

Reaching out Roger turned off the record player on his right that was very quietly playing a Beatles song that he hadn't really been listening to nor could he hear it very well due to the volume of his thoughts.

"What're you doing up?" His tone was gentle as he waved the four-year-old over to him, showing him he wasn't mad or annoyed that he had left his room to come and find Roger. It had been a week since Roger took James to the hospital which ended up in them staying there for the night until James was stable enough to come home. His fever hadn't completely gone but it was going but his other symptoms would take a while and he was on antibiotics.

Leaning down Roger picked James up when he trotted over to him, settling James on his lap and wrapping his arms around him as he burrowed himself into Roger's chest. Moving his head to the side Roger looked down at his boy when he stayed quiet, alarm bells ringing in his mind when James had more tears falling from his eyes that were beginning to soak into Roger's shirt.

"Hey, hey why the tears?" Roger tried to brush the tears away but more continued to fall and replace the ones he vanished. His teeth bit down on his bottom lip when James shuffled around on his lap, his arms wrapping around Roger's neck as his face buried in his shoulder. "Baby, I can't help if you don't talk to me. You feeling any worse tonight or had a bad dream?" Guessing what was wrong wasn't really helping Roger at the moment because he couldn't read James' mind so he couldn't know what was wrong unless he was told. His hand rubbed up and down James’ back to try and help calm him down.

"W-why did mummy die?" An uncontrollable shudder ran along the base of Roger's spine as he gently tugged James so he was sitting on Roger's lap properly. Allowing him to look down at his boy who was rubbing at his eyes, small whimpers and coughs escaping his lips making his chest shudder and his breaths crackle like static on a tv.

Why was he suddenly asking this?

Admittedly Roger hadn't told James the exact reason since he was too young to understand and he didn't want to upset him. But he knew she had gotten ill and passed away not long after he was born, that had always been enough for James. He was told everything else about (Y/n), about her personality and what music she liked, what she liked to read and her favourite places. He had never asked this before or seemed to cut up like this. He always felt down and out of place when certain topics considering (Y/n) came up because he felt cheated. He didn't get to know her but John and Brian's children knew their mums who were still around.

"Why are you asking that?"

"Was it b...because of me?" James' arms wrapped around his chest when Roger seemed to choke on thin air. A string of tears unable to hide away in his eyes anymore as they flushed down his features that were beginning to blotch a darker shade of crimson.

"Who said that?" There was no way that James could have thought of this on his own and everyone had been briefed about this subject. No one could mention how exactly (Y/n) died and they couldn't say she died on James' birthday because he was too young and that would be too upsetting for him to hear. There was no way he could have come to this conclusion without someone saying something to him. "Tell me who told you that." Roger didn't miss the way James visibly jumped at the sudden snapping tone to the drummer's voice. A tone he had never used with James before.

James wasn't a bad kid, he never did anything wrong and so Roger's voice was always as sweet as honey around him. He had never heard that tone in Roger's voice before and he had very rarely seen Roger cry. The cut-up and broken expression on Roger's face was rather scary to the four-year-old who didn't mean to upset Roger. He only wanted answers.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Roger rubbed at the tears quickly as he held his breath to calm his raging emotions down. He never meant to snap but he needed to know who had said this to or in front of James. Leaning over he pressed his lips to James' temple before pulling him back to his chest, feeling the little boy gripping his shirt tightly as he began to wheeze from the small cries leaving his lips. He curled up as much as he could against Roger who tried his best to stay calm, he never wanted to upset or scare James but he was feeling rather volatile and this was not a subject he wanted to talk about.

"Shh, oh baby I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I just need to know where you heard that. Calm down baby or you'll hurt your chest." Rubbing his hand up and down James' back, Roger evened out his breathing to try and prompt James to do the same. Needing him to calm down and breathe a little better or he was going to start coughing and his lungs weren't exactly at their best performance at the moment.

"I- I heard nanny and grandad talking... t-they said mummy died when I was a baby a-and you said she was ill but I was ill too. S..so was it because of me?" His breaths hitched every so often causing him to tense and his shoulders to pull inwards against Roger's chest.

Now Roger realised why James had been a little off today when Roger brought him home. He hadn't eaten very much which Roger had put down to feeling unwell and he hadn't really talked a lot either. Not singing along to one of the Disney movies they put on before bed, not quoting it like he normally did and he seemed to attach himself to Roger just a little more than normal. Of course it was them who James had overheard, the boys never talked about (Y/n) passing away especially not when James was around. They must have thought he was playing or upstairs or something.

Pulling James back, Roger kept his arms tight around him as he looked down to him. Watching his little double brushing the tears away with the sleeve of Roger's jumper that he was wearing.

"Your mum got really ill before you were born sweetheart, she was sick and had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. You were born too early, that's why you were poorly and have tummy trouble and the infections but your mum... she protected you before then. She had a different illness to you and that's why she went to heaven baby, that was nothing to do with you." Roger couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes as he watched a mix of emotions flood James' face and pupils before he slowly nodded. Trying to process what he had just been told.

(Y/n) had made the choice to wait longer for James to be born so he would have the best chance at life, that was no fault of James' when it resulted in her death and not his own. He didn't ask her to do that, she wanted to have him later and she was ill, James didn't give her the illness.

"Are you mad because you miss mummy?"

"Yeah... I always miss her, you and your mum mean the world to me. I feel happy when I miss her sometimes too. I feel happy that you look like her, that you're here with me, that she would have loved you almost as much as I do. I feel a lot of things when I think or miss her."

Roger didn't want James to think the only emotions Roger felt when he thought about (Y/n) were anger and pain. He felt joy and love and happiness too because he knew if she were here she would love how James was growing up and the person he was turning out to be. Roger felt the bad emotions when it was closer to the anniversary of when he lost her but he felt so many good things when the thought of (Y/n) came to mind and James needed to know this too. He needed to know that he could feel a range of emotions when he thought of his mum. James needed to learn it was okay to feel cheated or sad that he didn't know her but he could feel happy and proud to know she would have loved him and who he was turning out to be.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #imagine #queen band #Single Dad #fractured pieces

Fractured pieces- Part 1

This is a new Roger Taylor series I am working on inspired by the lovely @butlegendsneverdie thank you for the ideas and inspiration lovey. This is going to be based off of the storyline to my two other series ‘I do love you’ and ‘Our boy’ but with another twist in the story.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @langdonzvoid @butlegendsneverdie @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

I do love you masterlist

Our boy masterlist

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Roger felt broken.

That was the only word out there to describe the state the drummer found himself in. The nurse standing on his right was the only thing stopping him from falling to the cold tiled floor beneath his feet and curling up to the point he was near invisible. The pain coursing through every single blood vessel and nerve in his body was the only thing stopping him from passing out right then and there.

The sight in front of him was what was making the tears fall faster, as Roger knew this wasn't what he had chosen to happen.

No one had listened to Roger, and why would they? He had felt like an invisible guest, like he was watching everything on the tv and simply shouting at the characters to make the choices he wanted them to. The choices he knew would give him the outcome he wanted, the outcome he deemed the best or the only good one. He felt cruel. Roger felt like a murderer who everyone knew had committed the crime but was allowed to walk free anyway. Roger was a murderer, in his mind at the very least. The drummer wanted to be sentenced for the person he wanted to die. The person who Roger should vow to love and protect at any and all costs.

His son.

The drummer was conflicted beyond belief for what he had said and what he had so wanted to happen. Roger had clearly told (Y/n) two weeks ago that their baby should be born then and there, it had been a silent message conveyed between them that Roger was willing to take that risk. Roger wanted their son to be born two weeks ago because he had made that choice. He would watch his son die or be stillborn because he wanted (Y/n) to live. Roger made the choice of saving (Y/n) instead of their baby because he loved her to the end of the Earth. Her life shouldn't be cut short to allow another one to start that may still pass away. Roger wanted (Y/n) to live and he was willing to lose their baby in order for that to happen.

(Y/n) couldn't do that. It was Roger and the doctor's jobs to think of the mother before the child but it was her job to put the child first. (Y/n) wasn't having that risk of losing her baby because that was a life she was meant to protect and create. What kind of a mother takes such a big risk that clearly stated their baby wouldn't survive but she would?

The options were clear. (Y/n)'s pre-eclampsia would not go away until the baby was born, but this early meant she would get better at the cost of losing her baby. (Y/n) wouldn't do that even if Roger told her he wanted her to. Roger said he loved her and he wasn't willing for her to risk her life like that, he left for three days when she didn't agree until he caved and came back. He had listened to her, how she told him their baby meant everything to her and Roger had to see it that way or she would never forgive him. She needed the drummer to feel the same way she did or in the least understand that their baby deserved the chance that she could give for them.

It wasn't that Roger didn't want their baby because he did. He had gone behind his wife's back and slept with his best friend which led to (Y/n) telling him their one night led to her being pregnant. Roger waited to get the courage to tell his wife what he had done. He had moved in with (Y/n) for one week until she was taken to hospital when he noticed she was ill. He had changed his life around because he wanted to be with (Y/n) and because he wanted this baby with her. But at the cost of (Y/n)'s life, Roger couldn't. He didn't see their child's life outweighing (Y/n)'s life, Roger cried relentlessly because he wanted to see this in (Y/n)'s eyes but he couldn't, she was worth more to him than their child and he couldn't unsee things that way.

(Y/n) went against Roger in deciding to hold on for as long as she could. She didn't agree to induce labour straight away, she waited until she was told her liver was failing and the baby needed to be born now.

She knew she made the right choice because she had given their baby that extra time to grow and develop before they were evicted into the world to cope on their own without her help. There was a higher chance their baby would be alright now she had waited. Roger had made a promise to (Y/n) that conflicted every emotion he held within him. He promised if something happened to her he would be there for their baby and he meant it.

Roger would never abandon their child because he loved them, he just felt (Y/n)'s life was worth more to him because he had known her for over a decade. She had made her way into his heart and she wasn't leaving, he didn't want to say goodbye to her, he could handle saying goodbye to their child because he didn't have that attachment to them yet.

(Y/n) wasn't here now.

It crushed every single part of Roger because he knew this was the choice he didn't want. He had lost his best friend at the price of gaining their baby. He prayed. He told whatever God or being out there that he wanted (Y/n) but they had gone against him and given him their son instead. Roger didn't hold it against their baby because they hadn't chosen this, it was (Y/n)'s choice and part of Roger could respect that. He could love their child at the cost of feeling guilty for the choice he had made that was not listened to.

Roger knew he had to make things right for (Y/n). She didn't get to see their boy who she had protected and given her life for, so Roger had to do everything he could for their baby so her life meant something more.

But he felt so guilty. Roger could already feel the love for his boy swelling in his heart and trying to overtake the guilt of what he had wanted to happen. He had been ready to condemn his boy for the sake of (Y/n) and in one light that was wrong but in the other it was justified. What was he meant to feel? What was he meant to do? How was he meant to act?

Every question that welled up inside Roger disappeared when the nurse on his right sat him down gently in a navy blue cushioned chair in front of an incubator. He hadn't paid much attention to where in the hospital she had helped him. His boy had been born yesterday but Roger couldn't find the courage or the strength to go and see him until now. He had been sat cradling (Y/n) until the doctor told him he needed to let her go now. The kind nurse at his side didn't say anything when she found him in the bereavement room curled up asleep on the sofa after crying his heart out for over four hours.

Freddie had been down when Roger called to say (Y/n) was having the baby, he had sat with the drummer for those four hours before leaving him to sleep. Tears streaming down his own face as he knew he had to tell Roger's wife what had happened. They were not on good terms but she needed to know the situation and he had called Brian and John, telling them to leave the drummer be for a day or two.

When the nurse came to see Roger in the morning he had asked where his son was. That night Roger had decided that his baby boy was his priority now. He needed to do what (Y/n) wanted, what she had given her life for. Roger needed to pour his heart and soul into his boy to make sure he lived and was loved and cared for. He needed to say sorry for wishing it was his boy instead of (Y/n) because Roger didn't deserve that choice. It had never been his to make, he needed to accept this had been up to (Y/n) and he needed to look after his boy now.

Roger's calloused hand delicately reached through the circular opening in the incubator when he heard the sound of the door closing signalling he was alone. The drummer was relieved his boy was in a room on his own so no prying eyes or other parents would be around him right now.

The moment Roger took his boy's hand delicately between his thumb and index finger a new set of tears made their tracks down his features. Ones of sadness yet great relief as he felt those miniature fingers curling around his own. Roger hadn't thought about having children before (Y/n) told him she was pregnant. He and his wife didn't discuss it because the timing had never been right and then things between them seemed to start to breakdown. He hadn't met the right person, and then Queen was just beginning to become big and then all the tours meant it wasn't right.

Then Roger was told about his boy. (Y/n) was the perfect person, Queen was big and didn't need to focus on getting any bigger or putting their name out there. Touring wasn't happening at the moment, but now Roger had to do this alone. Yet that thought wasn't so scary, of course he missed (Y/n) to the ends of the Earth and back but caring for his boy wasn't scaring him like he thought it would. He had always wanted children and now he had a boy.

"I'm sorry, little guy." Roger bit down hard on the inside of his lip to stop his voice from cracking as he rested his other hand through the other opening in the incubator. Trailing his fingers over the newborn's head, his eyes taking in just how small his baby boy was. He had been informed on the way down here that his boy had under-developed lungs, was likely to have stomach problems when he was a bit older and had been on the verge of his kidneys shutting down. That thankfully hadn't happened and his boy was in the clear for that but it didn't mean more problems wouldn't arise.

All that Roger cared about was not losing his boy, he didn't care what problems they faced as long as he could have his boy. He couldn't lose anyone else. "Your mum chose you, I... I didn't want to lose her. But, i-it's just you and me now, baby. I'm gonna take such good care of you, I promise. I love you so much." Roger felt it. He could actually feel why (Y/n) had chosen to save their boy instead of herself. His heart was shattered but he could feel something completely different erupting throughout his body like he had been injected with something. It was a kind of love and protection Roger had never felt before as the words spilled from his lips like water from a tap.

He loved the little boy in front of him, Roger wasn't going to let anything happen to him. He swore his life on that because this was his son, the newborn right in front of him was Roger's whole life now, the only thing Roger saw that was worth living for. He wasn't risking anything taking his boy away from him, he had been wrong yet right in the choice he had made. He didn't want to lose (Y/n) but now he was shown his boy, he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose him either. Hopefully, he would never have to know.

It was just him and his boy now.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #Single Dad #imagine #queen band #fractured pieces

Fractured pieces- Part 11

Another part to my single dad! Roger Taylor series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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I don't have anyone else.

That thought swirled around in Roger's mind more than he could comprehend. The more times that one sentence circled around Roger's head like a car around a race track the more he began to see just how his world was crumbling around him.

James was the only proper family that Roger had. He didn't have a wife anymore or a girlfriend and his mother and sister weren't around here. The only proper family Roger had, a family of his own was James. His boy was the only one the drummer had and he couldn't lose him, not now not ever. Roger had made the mistake of wishing he had lost James instead of (Y/n) almost five years ago and each day that passed he saw just how wrong that was. How wrong he had been to try and condemn a new, innocent life like that because he was selfish and wanted to be the one to choose. Roger had wanted to have that little bit of control when everything was spiralling down but he didn't just like he didn't now.

Not having control over the situation made Roger anxious and feel volatile because James was his son. James was the one thing Roger had that held some connection to (Y/n) because her possessions weren't enough. With their boy Roger could see (Y/n) walking around each day that passed, he could see a part of her in their boy and that spurred Roger on. He knew he hadn't fully lost her because part of her was here, the part that Roger needed to protect at all costs but right now he couldn't. There was nothing that Roger could do to protect James and that made him angry beyond belief.

Freddie said nothing as he held the drummer to his side.

Both men stood with their eyes glued to the window in front of them, barely managing to make out Dr Freeman starting to put James back onto the ventilator as his lungs were starting to shut down. They could see him giving James an adrenaline injection before then giving him another ten minutes later to try and get rid of the last of the allergic reaction. They watched the pair fussing around to move the ice packs around before sending for some more. Keeping the fans blasting out cool air so there was no trace of warmth in the room as the shock was making James' fever worse.

Roger's feet tripped over one another, the tops of his shoes scraping against the tiled floor when Dr Freeman signalled for him to come in. Roger immediately noticed that James had stopped writhing around, his chest no longer panicking and pushing up and down too quickly. His throat relaxing as the tube was feeding him the air he needed.

"I need to give him something to wake him up so the anaesthetic fades out of his blood. He'll be awake for a minute or more before I give him something else to put him to sleep because he can't stay awake with his lungs not working. Try and keep him calm for me?" Waking James up instantly meant they could let the anaesthetic fizzle out of his blood with the new medication waking him up before they gave him medication he was not allergic to in order to send him to sleep. They couldn't let James stay awake if he was going to be delirious and when he had a tube breathing for him because it would send him into a panicked state and cause him stress he did not need.

The drummer sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching and taking James' hand in his own as his eyes followed the doctor he had known for five years now. The doctor who had done everything he could for (Y/n) and who had been looking after James since the beginning.

Roger's eyes followed the doctor as he got the medication ready, injecting it into the drip that was giving James some painkillers for his chest. It took less than a minute for the little boy to begin coming back around. His eyelids fluttering like butterfly wings as his body jerked slightly, his hand moving and gripping Roger's weakly. The drummer's nose and upper lip twitched in distaste and pain when he noticed the moment James seemed to realise there was a tube down his throat that was forcing the air into his lungs. His drowsy eyes locked onto Roger before they squeezed shut, some sort of choking sound passing through his parted lips as his chest quaked.

Reaching out with his free hand Roger entangled his fingers in his son's blond locks, twirling the strands between his fingers as he leaned down to kiss his temple before resting their foreheads together.

"You're being so brave for me baby." His fingers continued to card through James' hair, his hand tightening around the smaller one in his grasp when James writhed in pain. A sound that seemed like a whimper mixed around the tube feeding him air escaped his lips making Roger's heart shatter. "Shh, it's okay you're alright. I've got you, it won't last long sweetheart." Roger whispered the words tentatively, his voice coated in sugar to try and hide how much it was cracking and trying to break on him. Moving his hand from James' hair, he trailed his fingertips down the side of his face, rubbing at his jaw to try and distract him as one or two tears welled in the little boy's eyes.

"Mr Taylor?" Roger's head turned to the right when his name was spoken quietly, seeing that Dr Freeman was getting ready to give him the medication to let him sleep for a while. Moving to do so when Roger nodded his head giving permission.

"You go to sleep now baby, I'll be here when you wake up." The words were nothing more than a whisper as Roger kissed his temple again, watching him seem to calm down. His muscles losing the tension they held before as the ventilator did all the work for his lungs. "W-will his lungs be alright soon?" Roger's head turned to look at Dr Freeman, unable to stop more tears from glossing his eyes and marking his features. His thumb still brushing James' jaw even though he was out for the count now.

"The allergic reaction sent them in respiratory arrest especially due to the fluid, but once the chest wall recovers he should be able to breathe on his own in a few hours, maybe a day or two. When he breathes on his own we'll wake him up, it's the fever we need to worry about now. I'll come back in an hour and check on you both." He made a quick scan of the monitors and James before he quietly exited the room along with the nurse. Holding the door open for Freddie to head inside.

"How we doing?" Freddie's voice was light as he tried to keep the atmosphere from having a fog of tension. Watching the drummer move so he was sitting back down on the chair instead of the bed.

"Burning fever... I can't lose him too Fred, I- I just can't." The singer didn't think twice before moving and lightly perching himself on the arm of the chair Roger was sitting in. His arms wrapping around the drummer to pull him into his chest for a hug that they both needed. Roger needed James more than anything in the world, more than anyone could ever imagine. He wasn't prepared to lose him because Roger didn't know how to cope on his own. Losing (Y/n) had dug the grave for him and James was the only thing stopping him from falling in. If James died Roger would be buried with him.

"You said that to me when he was a baby and look how much he's grown. They said he wouldn't make it to one but I just know he's going to make it to five in two weeks, nothing's gonna stop that. Trust me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roger's eyes were beginning to burn as he pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing at the corners of his eyes to try and keep them open and wake himself up a little more. It was sometime around twelve in the afternoon, Roger had lost all track of time when there was no window to see how the sun rose and fell. They were cut off from the outside world and Roger couldn't yet determine if this was a good thing or not.

He and Freddie had been taking small shifts, letting one sleep as the other watched over James because Roger had been insistent of staying awake to watch him when he was running on last reserves. He felt better if at least one of them was watching James just in case something happened or he improved or got worse.

Roger dreaded to think of the conversation he needed to have with (Y/n)’s parents soon. He had called Freddie first and foremost and had not even thought to ring them until now. He had been here for over half a day now and had not told them that their grandchild was in a critical condition but Roger couldn’t be fussed with them at the moment. He needed to watch over James and they all couldn’t be in the room at the same time and Roger was not leaving. Nor was he listening to them drabble on about why he didn’t call sooner, what was wrong and all of the bullshit he didn’t want to hear. He would call them when James was over the worst.

There had been nurses popping in every so often to add more ice to the bags placed around or on James to keep down his fever which had gone down by about one or two degrees which meant it was going in the right direction. As long as his fever didn't start to rise he was alright for the time being. Dr Freeman came in every hour on the hour, staying for a while to examine James and talk to Roger before popping back out again with the promise of returning. He didn't seem overly worried right now because even though his temperature was high, it wasn't spiking any worse and he was stable.

The doctor had been right about James' lungs, the fluid was drained and the swelling in his chest had gone down immensely allowing his lungs to start working now the shock had worn off. The ventilator had been turned off and James was placed on an oxygen mask instead about an hour and a half ago. He'd woken for a minute, no more before he fell asleep which was the best thing for him rather than him panicking or getting upset or in pain.

Reaching out for one of the paper towels resting on the table, Roger held it in the palm of one hand as he placed some cubes of ice from one of the bags onto it. Wrapping them up in the towel before gently pressing it to James' forehead. Gently moving it to his neck every once in a while but generally keeping it to his temple, letting the ice melt through the towel onto his temple to try and lower his body temperature. All the drummer wanted was to lay with his boy and hold him. He wanted to rest James on his chest like he always did when he was ill, like he did when he was a baby and cradle him until he felt better. But all that would do was transfer Roger's minimal body heat to James and make him worse.

So the drummer had to settle for brushing his fingers through his son's hair and holding his hand instead.

When Roger gently pulled one hand away that had been brushing through James' hair, his eyes widened when the four-year-old batted a weak arm out. Trying to reach for Roger at the sudden loss of contact showing he was either beginning to wake up or was half-conscious. He had woken for a minute or two every so often but was too tired or delirious to properly wake up.

"D-daddy..."

"Shh, I'm still here baby." Leaning forward Roger kissed his temple just to show that he wasn't going anywhere. He had only wanted to stretch out his arms and back, he wasn't trying to leave. A sad smile pulled at Roger's lips when James tried tugging on his hand, obviously wanting a cuddle. "No, baby, no cuddles yet. You go to sleep, gotta keep you cold to get rid of the fever." Roger started caring his fingers through James' hair again as he leaned into the soothing touch, moving his other hand Roger pressed the paper towel back to his temple.

The sound of the door opening stirred Freddie from his sleep, his eyes tiredly opening as he smiled at Dr Freeman who wandered in.

"Alright, how are we doing?"

"He's half-awake at the minute, not wheezing either." Walking round to Roger's side of the bed Dr Freeman looked at the heartbeat monitor before grabbing the stethoscope so he could listen to James' lungs. Needing to know if there were any crackling sounds that signified his pleurisy was getting worse, the same or getting better as well as the pneumonia.

"His breathing sounds a lot better, let's check this fever." Sitting down on the edge of the bed he grabbed the thermometer. Slowly taking off the oxygen mask from James' lips and nose so he could put the thermometer under his tongue to see if he was getting any better or not. Both Roger and Freddie watched him intently as they waited for what felt like hours until he took the thermometer again. Letting Roger slip the oxygen mask back over his son's lips before looking to him for the verdict. "Well... the fever's broken. He's almost back to normal. Another hour or two and we can start putting the room temperature back up. He's in the clear."

Roger's head fell to his arm that was resting on the bed as a shuddering breath left his lips. Feeling the doctor patting his shoulder before taking his leave to let the news sink in.

Never before had such a swell of relief surged through Roger's veins to the point he felt like he was on such high drugs he was past cloud nine. This is what he had been praying for, this is the thing that Roger was so sure wouldn't be told to him now because he didn't think his wish would be listened to. All the wishes he had made in the past had been disregarded except for this one. James was not going to be taken away from him like he feared.

James was going to be okay.

His body wasn't going to overheat to the point his cells would start to fail, he wasn't burning like the sun anymore because the medication was helping and the ice was cooling him down. The extent of the fever showed just how bad his pneumonia and pleurisy were because the fever was a way of trying to rid the infections. He was breathing on his own and a lot better than when Roger brought him in and he was out of the danger that the fever was putting him in even if it was a way of helping.

"See, I told you. He's gonna be alright for his birthday, he's gonna turn five."

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #Single Dad #imagine #queen band #freddie mercury #fractured pieces

Fractured pieces- Part 5

Another part to my single dad! Roger Taylor series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @langdonzvoid @butlegendsneverdie @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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"Have you seen trouble anywhere?" There was a certain look in Roger's eyes that Freddie had grown accustomed to over the recent years. The nickname was something Roger had started using to refer to his son on this tour which was the first tour they had done where they brought one of their kids along.

Roger wasn't leaving James at home this time. They had been on tour last year and James had stayed with Roger's sister and mother for those two and a half months but this time he was tagging along. James wasn't naughty in any way, he just seemed to wander around anywhere after one of his uncles and Roger never saw him leave. He turned around and the little boy was gone, he knew James was fine with the boys but he still liked to keep a watchful eye on him, just in case.

"Following Brian onto the stage I think."

Since James was rather good and liked to sit and watch most of the time, he didn't really need a babysitter on tour. When they were setting up the stage he would cling to Roger, when the boys were practising on stage James would sit close by and either watch or play or read. When it was time for the concert James watched the beginning with one of the members of staff assigned to stay with him before retiring to Roger's dressing room. Where he could hear the concert well enough but where it was low enough that he could fall asleep if he couldn't wait up for the boys to finish.

"Thanks." Wandering down the corridor Roger headed out to the backstage area of the concert they were going to be playing tonight. Passing by the crew beginning to do sound checks and make sure all the lighting was ready. Heading up the stairs Roger went onto the stage, seeing James run past in front of him as Brian was wandering after him. Hanging back a few paces to give his nephew a head start.

Reaching out Roger quickly scooped James up into the air, smiling at the surprised squeal leaving his lips as his little legs kicked out in surprise. His head turning to the left to look up and see who had caught him, his eyes widening as an open-mouthed smile pulled at his lips seeing that it was his dad instead of his uncle Brian like he first thought. Roger's head tilted to the side as his eyebrows raised in a knowing look as James bit his bottom lip trying to hide his smile. His cheeks turning a dusty shade of pink as he knew exactly what Roger was going to say about what James had done.

"Hi, daddy." He giggled, swinging his legs around before Roger set him back to his feet, kneeling down in front of him.

"Hello. What have you been doing?" Roger knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from James to see how he thought he was getting away with this one. His eyes rolling playfully when his four-year-old pushed himself into Roger's arms. Wrapping his small arms around the drummer's neck, going on tiptoes to snuggle his cheek against Roger's. He felt Brian patting his shoulder before he headed over to his guitar seeing James was otherwise engaged now.

"Playing tag with uncle Brian." James responded as Roger could practically hear the smile he had as he talked. Pulling back to look at his dad with a cheeky smile that had clearly been inherited from the drummer. Roger rested his hands on his son's sides, his thumbs ghosting over his sides over his jumper.

"I see. And, should you be running around right after dinner? Especially when you didn't have much breakfast?" The smile finally dulled down just a little, as if it was the sun that was beginning to hide behind the clouds. Roger's expression showed he wasn't mad, he was just cautious and James should know the rules by now. Not eating much breakfast and then eating a lot for dinner was enough to upset James' stomach but running around right after eating would make him feel worse and Roger didn't want that.

"No."

"This is why we have the bag." Roger stated with a shake of his head, moving his hand to tap the backpack resting on James' back before his fingers rested under the little boy's chin so he could tilt his head to interlock their gazes again.

James had a black backpack with the Queen band logo printed in silver on it which went just about everywhere with him. Amongst the few colouring books and pencils it held, the bag always held his inhaler for his asthma. It held his medication for his IBS he'd had since he was a baby amongst other stomach problems. The bag also contained a few other medications which varied from tablets to bottled medicine. Since they were on tour and out of the country James was likely to gain chest infections from the change in temperature so Roger had to be ready for that. Packing all the meds James might and probably would need.

The day after they had landed in the states James came down with an infection that led to Roger cradling James everywhere at all hours of the day and night until concerts and concert practise needed to happen.

"Go on, hop it. Uncle Bri's waiting for you." There wasn't much point for Roger to scold James about it, he knew he shouldn't be running around just yet and he was only playing. "Walk." Roger chimed when he noticed his little double was about to run to where Brian was now sitting on the edge of the stage. Watching as James jolted forward from suddenly slowing down to walk like he had stepped on the brakes.

Turning around Roger headed over to the wing of the stage to grab a bottle of water, counting down in his head to the moment James would trot over saying his stomach was hurting.

Heading over to Brian, James smiled brightly as he slowly sat down a little away from the edge knowing Roger would flip if he sat too far forward since he tended to be an accident-prone child. He shuffled to the left to let closer to Brian, smiling up at his uncle as he pressed himself into the elder man's side, watching him with eager eyes. His gaze flitting to his feet that were dangling off the edge of the stage which was a little higher than the previous one they had set up. Turning his attention to the little boy sitting beside him, Brian moved the guitar on his lap so his attention was on James.

"Did my mummy come on tour with you?" A tentative smile came onto Brian's features that made his eyes crease at the corners.

The boys had learnt over the past four years that as James started to grow older he liked to ask about (Y/n) and Roger had told them it was fine to talk about her. Roger always indulged James in any kind of story he wanted to know about his mother. Since he was only four Roger had left out the detail that (Y/n) passed on his birthday, that wouldn't be the nicest thing to tell him but he did tell him that she loved him. And that she had protected him when he was ill as a baby because she had. James was growing up with illnesses and no mother, the stories were something he relied on and in a way Roger was relying on them too.

Roger had taken James to (Y/n)'s apartment a few times where everything was the way she had left it. He couldn't put it up for sale, nor could the drummer find it in himself to move any of her things, it was like a coping method. When he felt he was crumbling or if James wasn't doing so well they'd go to the apartment which was where Roger told the best stories and memories that he had of (Y/n) to their little boy.

"Yes she did. She liked to help with our costumes, and when uncle Freddie needed something or got dramatic she was there to calm him down." Brian never quite saw James smile so much than when he was told stories about his mum or when he watched Roger at concerts like this. There was always such a look of awe in his eyes when he saw Roger at work or when he was told stories about his mother it was like he was finally seeing the world in colour for the first time.

"Daddy gets sad when we talk about mummy... do you think I look like her?"

"He misses her a lot, he knew her for years, since we started the band. It gets a bit hard for him, that's all. I think you do look like her, you have her nose and her smile... but you've got your dad's eyes."

Brian couldn't begin to imagine what it was like for Roger to talk to James about (Y/n), he didn't know how the drummer did it without bursting into tears. (Y/n) meant the world to Roger and losing her was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. But to gain James in exchange helped him immensely, it as if (Y/n) had given him a piece of her to make sure he wasn't going to be left on his own. There were moments when James pulled a certain expression and all the band had to fight back tears as (Y/n) seemed to flash before their eyes when they looked to the little boy. They could all see the friend they had lost in James when he smiled in a certain way or when he scrunched up his nose.

Other times Brian himself could see Roger completely in the drummer's son as if it was a mini version of the drummer. They shared the same eyes that it was almost scary to see how they mirrored one another. You could tell James was Roger's son by those eyes.

"Where is daddy?" James suddenly questioned after a smile pulled at his lips at the answer that he received. He only knew (Y/n) from photos so to be told he looked like her was a nice thing for him to hear. His head turned to scan the stage, finally spotting the man in question as he was sitting on the drum risers at the back of the stage. Tuning one of his snare drums to make sure that it was just right for the concert tonight.

"He's right there. You feeling unwell?" Brian guessed what was wrong straight away. James was always fine when he was around his uncles or any of the crew that he got along with until the moment he was ill. When he felt ill James drifted straight over to Roger and wouldn't leave him until he either felt better or had to wait for the concert to start and finish. When James nodded Brian set his guitar down beside him before gently scooping up his nephew. Walking over to Roger who knew what was happening straight away.

"I told you." Roger mumbled, reaching out for his boy as he smiled gratefully to Brian before the guitarist drifted back to his instrument again. "Tummy ache?" Roger figured, waiting for James to nod in confirmation before delving into the bag on his shoulders to grab the right bottle and taking out two tablets. The little boy had already grabbed the bottled water beside Roger, making no quarrel as he swallowed the tablets handed to him.

James shrugged off the bag, setting it on one of the steps of the drum risers before pushing himself into Roger's arms. Cuddling up to his chest with his head on his father's shoulder and his arms around his neck. Feeling Roger's hand rubbing up and down his back as he began to sway them side to side. The drummer had quickly learnt what the best things to do were when James was ill. When he had stomach ache like this cuddles was always what he went for, if he had a bad chest Roger paced up and down with him or wrapped his jacket around his boy to keep his chest warm. When they were on tour heat wasn't the best thing for a chest infection so Roger would get a cooling pack for James and pace up and down with that instead of his jacket.

"Alright, you'll be alright in a minute." Roger cooed quietly, leaning his head against James' before pressing a kiss to his temple. Continuing to sway them as he could already tell his boy was beginning to grow tired.

"Love you, daddy."

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #imagine #Single Dad #queen band #freddie mercury #Brian May #fractured pieces

Fractured pieces- Part 2

Another part to my latest Roger Taylor series which I hope everyone will enjoy.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @langdonzvoid @butlegendsneverdie @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roger's head leaned to the side as he felt his eyes burning with the desire to go to sleep. He had spent the past two nights in his boy's room, not wanting nor daring to leave in case something happened when he wasn't there. Roger didn't have anywhere else to go. He had left his home with his wife to go and stay with (Y/n) but he didn't want to go back there without her. Going back to the place he was meant to call home sent waves of fear through him because everywhere he would look there would be a reminder of the one he lost.

The drummer wasn't sure whether he was going to stay in the apartment or if he was going to buy somewhere else for him and his boy to live. On the one hand, Roger wanted to stay there because it was (Y/n)'s home, she had designed it herself and it contained all of her things. He wanted that reminder of her but at the same time, he didn't know if it would be too much. Roger would never have the heart to change anything in the apartment and he knew looking at all of her things would only break his already shattered heart.

At the moment, Roger hadn't been back to the apartment. Freddie had kindly offered to collect some of Roger's clothes and essentials so Roger could have a shower and a nap at his house since the drummer couldn't go home. The singer promised he wouldn't touch or move anything else other than the things he was packing for his friend.

Freddie had offered to sit with Roger for a little while when he brought his friend back to the hospital, not wanting him to be alone in his state even though Roger seemed just that little bit better today. It seemed like actual magic to Freddie that Roger could go from looking like he was on death's door from the sorrow in his heart to suddenly being mended piece by piece when he was sitting by his boy. Roger didn't say anything for a while, he simply sat in his usual seat in front of the incubator with his hand wrapped around the tiny one of his son. His eyes closing for a few moments just to give him some rest.

"Rog." Reaching over, Freddie gently tapped his friend's arm to grab his attention.

Tiredly opening his eyes Roger looked from Freddie to the door on their right where the singer's eyes were locked on. A shudder ran through Roger when his eyes locked on his wife stood in the doorway, clearly unsure whether she should or was even allowed in the room.

"I'll go and get us all a coffee." Freddie mumbled quietly, taking this as his time to leave and give them some space. His hand rested to Roger's shoulder tentatively before he bypassed Claire with a small smile and a nod of his head. The singer didn't want to sit and listen to their much-needed talk and he didn't want to get in the way or make things awkward, giving them some space would be the best idea at the moment.

"Hi." Roger spoke very quietly, not able to keep up their eye contact for very long before he was looking over at his boy instead. His thumb brushing over the back of the tiny hand wrapped around his index finger.

Things hadn't been great between him and Claire the last time they had spoken. They had been arguing as Roger packed up the last of his things so he could move out, Claire wondered why he married her as she was insistent that Roger had always had more love for (Y/n) than simply her being his best friend. Roger wouldn't have married Claire if he thought there was something more between him and (Y/n) or if he thought there was a chance for them. They had fallen for each other at such wrong timing, and everything seemed to just go downhill from there with the only light being the boy in front of him now.

"Hey, how are you?" Seeing that Roger wasn't telling her to leave, Claire slowly walked into the room. Moving to sit in the seat Freddie just vacated as her eyes couldn't move away from the newborn in front of them.

The pair had never rowed on such a scale before than when Roger confessed he was having a child with (Y/n). He knew the pain that would cause his wife because they had put off having children and here he was going behind her back with someone else resulting in another family. Even if his boy hadn't been planned, he was here now and it was clear by the look in Roger's eyes that there was more love in them than Claire thought possible.

"Tired." He wasn't breaking down just yet. Roger wasn't going to crumble and spill his secrets on how everything felt upside down. His world had been turned around in the worst possible way and he didn't like it. His stomach churned, his heart was fractured in so many places it shouldn't be beating anymore, his blood was curdling in his veins. Every nerve was frazzled like they had all been electrocuted to the point they were burnt out and black. Every breath hurt because his chest shook with the need to release the screams and pent up sobs he held within him.

Roger wanted to cry for (Y/n). He wanted to scream for the loss he had suffered and for the new life he had gained that he needed to protect at all costs. The contrast in sorrow and love was hurting his heart and head so much he wanted o to be unconscious just to get a break from it all.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't." His response was razor-sharp, cutting through the air as his glassy eyes locked with the woman he used to love. "Don't do that to me." Roger didn't want her sympathy for what he had gone through. He didn't want to hear how sorry she was that he had lost his best friend, that he had lost the woman he had fallen head over heels for just when he thought he could have something more with her. Roger didn't want her sympathy for losing the mother of his child.

"Do you have a name for him yet?" Claire quickly changed the subject upon seeing the darkness pooling in Roger's eyes. (Y/n) was a subject he was not willing to talk about and if she dared she would get more than she bargained for. If she had come here just to say sorry Roger would make her leave.

"(Y/n) wanted to call him James." There was no other name that Roger would ever be able to pick. (Y/n) had told him she liked that name if they were going to have a boy and she had made sure he would survive, Roger couldn't do anything but give him the name she had wanted.

"That's nice, suits him... Rog, I was thinking... why don't you come home?" Something inside Roger snapped like an elastic band at those words. Home. He didn't have a home anymore. The one he used to share with Claire was not home anymore because their marriage was over now, everything had changed to the point going back there would simply be Roger walking into a place he used to stay. It wasn't his home. Going back to (Y/n)'s apartment wouldn't feel like home either because it had been his home for one week. One week of bliss with (Y/n) before she became ill, one week with her before she left that apartment and never went back. That wasn't home and neither was the house he used to share with Claire.

Why was she asking him to go back home?

Roger had cheated on her, he had told her plainly that he loved another woman and therefore they could no longer make their marriage work. He had a child with someone else, Roger was now the sole carer of said child who was currently in the ICU since he was premature and unwell. Why would or should Roger go back with Claire? He didn't deserve that and once more he didn't feel that was what he wanted at all.

"What?"

"Rog, you can't look after him on your own. What about when you have to work through the night at the studio or when you go on tour? James can't go with you, he's going to need extra care."

Claire was right. Roger couldn't take James to the studio with them when he needed to work through the night or when he was up absurdly early to go down and start recording. His days off were varied too, it wasn't like he could just leave whenever he wanted or have those fixed days of the week to be with James. Tours ranged from two to three months, once or twice even longer than that and it was a long time to leave his boy when he didn't have a mother there to care for him. James was going to need more care because he was ill, care that Roger couldn' always be there to give because of his job that was demanding. Roger had every other necessity to provide for James apart from enough time.

"It's not sorted yet but I... I'm sorry. It's me and my boy now, I can look after him on my own. I'm doing this, just me because she's gone and I'm not replacing her." Roger's words were final as a few tears escaped his eyes that looked like they were made of glass, the kind of eyes you would find on an age-old doll.

Roger didn't want any help, he didn't need it. This was him and James now, just the pair of them and that was all they needed. He would sort everything out, he would work out whether he wanted a new apartment or stay in (Y/n)'s apartment. Roger would sort out a schedule for the studio that would let him be there for his boy when and if he was needed. He would tell the band that touring was put off until James was older and better. Going back to his wife meant that Roger was ignoring (Y/n)'s memory. He wasn't having anyone else bringing James up because this was his son and he was going to tell him all about his mother and what she had done for him.

James was going to be brought up with all the love Roger could give him and (Y/n) was not going to be replaced.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #imagine #queen band #fractured pieces #freddie mercury #Single Dad