#free!meta

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Leaving Teeth Marks

Here at BadPosture studio, it’s always Rinharu propaganda hour. And by "propaganda," I mean reading canon material as plain proof that Rin and Haru are stupid about each other. While the content of the mooks are dreams the characters have, (which take place within the Future Fish AU), they’re nevertheless revealing of their feelings towards each other in the main story. All but the final mook can be read in sequence, which is to say they could reasonably follow the same chronology. The Rin/Haru story is reflective of kid Rin’s perspective, whereas the rest of the mooks depict him in a way closer to his behaviour as a teenager. Despite the disparity between Rin’s attitude towards Haru in mooks 4 and 5, one thing remains the same: Rin wants a bite of Haru.

So…what does this mean? A literal reading is obvious. I mean, really, how much more intimate can a person get than acquainting their mouth with the crook of someone else’s neck? To gain half-fish powers in mook 5, Rin could have drawn blood from virtually anywhere on Haru’s body, but he opts to stick his head in between the bars of the cell to bite down on Haru’s neck. In mook 4, when Nagisa asks Rin what he’d do if he were to catch Haru, he says he’d have “a taste.” Then he elaborates, saying, “That merman is my prey. One of these days, I’ll catch him by his tail and make him mine.”

…Half-fish or not…saying you want to make a person yours? Seriously, if Rin didn’t mean it that way, then why does he say it so sexy? …I’m losing focus here!

The emotional climax of mook 5 is when Haru asks Rin why he’s so determined to show him sights he’s never seen before, and Rin tells him it’s because he wants to share the things he loves with someone else—perhaps because half-fish Haru likely never had those experiences before, or perhaps because Rin didn’t want Haru to resign to simply existing and nothing more. By the end of the story, these feelings are obviously reciprocated, with Haru promising to share sights of his own. Rin likely recruited Haru for their elementary school relay with the same goal in mind—here was someone amazing he wanted to share experiences with. So, whether we read the biting thematically or literally, Rin wants to leave his mark on Haru. In both the main story and mook 5, it was love at first sight for Rin, which is to say that he’s been Haru’s since the day they met.

Taking Haru by the tail and making him his is not unlike Rin initiating the kabedon in season 1 and telling Haru to swim for him. The operative words “mine” and “for” are decidedly much more proprietary than swimming/sharing a dream with Haru. And this is because Rin’s fixation on Haru was perverted into something much more desperate and selfish as he got older. After all, he didn’t quit swimming as a kid because he lost to Haru after being abroad for a year, he quit because despite their separation Haru was able to move on and continue improving while Rin wasn’t. Believing that the effect Haru had on him was one-sided—that Haru didn’t need him and faired no better or worse whether he was around or not—made Rin want to take away the power Haru had over him and use it against him instead.

Of course, Rin had it right the first time. Haru does feel the same way and would, in fact, welcome Rin to make himself at home in the crook of his neck. Incidentally, every time they’ve hugged it out, Rin has propped his chin on the same shoulder he dreamt of sinking his teeth into. Maybe it isn’t such unfamiliar territory after all. Maybe it’s exactly where he belongs.

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Message in a Bottle (pt. 2)

For anon, who asked my thoughts about secondary characters in Free! (continued).

I like Natsuya, I really do, but the guy needs to smarten up! While it’s totally understandable that he wanted his little brother to step out from his shadow and become his own person, I think it’s unwise to just throw Ikuya in the proverbial deep end, watch him almost drown himself, and refuse to help him. It’s obvious that Natsuya cares a lot about Ikuya, but he seems to struggle with actually being there for him. I don’t know why as an older brother, knowing your baby brother is shy, you wouldn’t try and introduce him to other kids or offer to do things together. It sounds like he just stopped showing up for Ikuya and didn’t explain to him why. Now, it isn’t Natsuya’s fault that Ikuya became a moody son-of-a-bitch as he got older, but he made it so that Ikuya didn’t feel comfortable confiding in him anymore. There would be no need to strap Hiyori with the responsibility of looking out for Ikuya and giving him updates about how he’s doing if Natsuya would just show up. Then again, it wasn’t until recently that Natsuya even considered showing up for himself and thinking seriously about what he wants to do with his life…maybe he thinks commitment is scary, hm?

I don’t think Natsuya purposely withheld love/affirmation from his brother. Maybe he just underestimated how badly he needed it or felt too awkward to say how proud of him he was. How all of this became Haru’s fault of all people is beyond me, and maybe that’s why seeing the Kirishimas actually reconcile and start to communicate felt…just meh. I’m not sure Natsuya understood the gravity of what he did, nor do I think Ikuya directed his hurt at the right person. They’re in a much better place than they were, but I’m not sure either brother fully owned up to anything, does that make sense?

Which segways to Ikuya himself. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that some of my frustrations with this kid may simply be due to projection. I too was once a moody son-of-a-bitch, so I get it, I do. And because I get it, I know that at a certain point, you gotta own up to it. You gotta say, “My attitude is shit. Yeah, people have let me down, and I feel lonely and angry, but I can’t keep holding onto all this shit and being miserable. I have to do something about it.”

In Dive to the Future, Ikuya expressed wanting to be a hero like Haru: “Not a hero that fights evil and stuff, but the kind that everyone looks up to. The kind that helps out whenever someone is lost or stuck.” But the only “heroic” thing Ikuya seemed to have done since smiling at another kid in kindergarten was convincing his university team captain to put Hiyori on the relay team with him at regionals—which they should have been doing together the whole time anyway! Then in the Final Stroke, Ikuya tells Rin, “Back then, I looked at the stars with Haru like this…as I made a wish to be able to swim faster.” So, was he just saying that “hero” stuff to look good? Or does he think that people admire Haru simply because he is a fast swimmer?! See, here I go getting pissed off again!

This is perhaps a bit off-topic, but something that both frustrated and interested me was Ikuya’s curiosity about the nature of Haru’s relationship with Rin. He’s straightforward in asking Rin if he’s happy to see Haru win or finds it frustrating, he tags along with them to see the venue in Sydney despite being “well aware…that this is an important place to you [two],” and asks Rin if he was okay not being in the room with Haru after he collapsed for the nth time. It seems as though the primary reason Ikuya wanted to start spending time with Rin was to try and sus out why he’s so important to Haru. On the one hand, it feels like he’s intruding and being nosy. But on the other hand, the more he pries, the more Rin talks about how much he adores Haru and the more it’s made plain that Haru feels the same way…and as a member of the Rinharu propaganda department, I hoard those moments like treasure! 

Ikuya certainly pisses me off, but he’s not a bad person, y’know? Just dramatic! But so am I for getting so worked up over his shenanigans!!

For someone who has always been “mature for his age,” Hiyori has a really warped understanding of how friendships work. Ikuya was patient and reached out to Hiyori when nobody else seemed to give him the time of day and from thenceforth, he became this glorified hero figure in Hiyori’s eyes that he wanted to hoard for himself. He actively chased away people who tried to get close to Ikuya, dubbing them unworthy of being his friend, even though those people would probably become his friends too if he wasn’t such a territorial weirdo. Even after Ikuya reconciles with his old relay team (despite Hiyori’s attempts at preventing this), Hiyori remains weirdly possessive over Ikuya. When Sousuke compliments Ikuya’s strength as a swimmer in light of Sydney’s prelims, Hiyori thanks him. Sousuke, reasonably enough, wonders why he’s saying thank you. I don’t think it was because Hiyori was trying to take credit for Ikuya’s strength or to thank Sousuke on his behalf, but more likely that he means to say thanks for complimenting his Ikuya. Hiyori seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Also, I still can’t believe he got away without so much as a bloody nose after telling Haru that “everyone who swims with you ends up suffering somehow, huh?” The sheer audacity is baffling!

Ryuuji, much like Haru, has unorthodox methods and is a bit of a weirdo, so I think he’s a good fit as his coach. However, I also think he’s sometimes too hard on Haru and his advice that he should “throw things away” to become a better swimmer is fucking awful. I won’t go as far as saying that Haru’s falling out with Rin after Sydney is Ryuuji’s fault, and I don’t think he was wrong to tell Rin that he needed to fix things himself, but Ryuuji was the one to tell Haru that “the only ones who make it are the ones who don’t waver an inch, even if something happens to someone they care about.” Or in other words, one shouldn’t let things in their personal life affect their swimming, no matter how dear or important. This logic operates under the assumption that swimming is (and should be) completely divorced from everything and everyone else, which is directly contrarian to how Haru swims! It’s literally what sets Haru apart from someone like Albert! Moreover, if your athlete calls you in the middle of the night out in the pouring rain and tells you he’s ready to sacrifice everything to improve despite explicitly saying previously that he won’t do that, you’d probably think something must’ve happened, right? Then you watch him over-exert himself because he’s in a hurry against his own anatomy and your solution is to shove Rin against a wall and tell him that it’s his responsibility to fix things with Haru?

I’ve never been in sports myself, so I can’t say for sure to what degree a good coach should be involved in their athlete’s personal life when it’s clearly affecting how they perform. Still, I don’t know how realistic it is to expect Haru to just forget everything while he swims—because on the one hand, it’s important to focus on himself as he is instead of pushing himself too hard in order to surpass others, but on the other, distancing himself from the people that he cares about so he can spend all his time and energy training is counterintuitive because his bonds are where he draws his strength from. I suppose this is why the expression “don’t mix business and pleasure” exists because swimming simply isn’t “just a job” for Haru, nor is it separate from everything else he cares about. This is his life we’re talking about here! I hate the idea that life is supposed to stop just because a person has a job to do!

And hell, maybe I’m misinterpreting things and Ryuuji’s stupid advice to Haru had no impact on his decision to throw himself into a self-destructive spiral. But if Ryuuji wants Haru to avoid the mistakes he once made, I think it's unwise to advise him to stop concerning himself with people he cares about. Y’know that shit Ryuuji told Rin? That he needs to “grab on to what’s important” to him “and not let it go”? That’s the advice he needs to give Haru too. He doesn’t need to give up anything—all he’s ever had to be is himself. Wait, shut up. Just as I’m typing this out, I realized that Rin pulling Haru into an embrace in the night pool is literally grabbing on to what’s important and not letting go. Oh! I’m gonna make myself cry! GOD, I LOVE RINHARU! Much like Haru’s personal life being intertwined with swimming, BadPosture’s Free!meta is never without Rinharu!

Kinjou is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch with a history with Ikuya and Hiyori that I am completely oblivious to. I’m seriously wondering if there was another movie or something that I missed because I don’t know what’s going on with them. He shows up for the first time at the end of Road to the World to tell Hiyori that he thinks he’s worse off being friends with Ikuya and to call him “Hiyori Crybaby.” I don’t remember Hiyori’s character ever being established as a crybaby, so I’m not sure where this nickname came from. Then in the first part of the Final Stroke, we see that Hiyori and Kinjou met as kids, but something else must’ve happened between then and university because kid-Hiyori moving away suddenly doesn’t explain Kinjou’s animosity towards Ikuya.

At the prelims, Kinjou calls Ikuya “Mermaid Princess Hero,” which means he’s probably heard Ikuya’s claim that he “gave up his heart in order to get stronger,” but “couldn’t become human.” Who’s to say if he knows anything about Haru? Anyway, he also brought over another breaststroke swimmer named Kotetsu Sudou to intimidate Ikuya, saying, “You might always be pushing Hiyori and your brother around…but don’t get full of yourself.” So…Kinjou bullies Ikuya because he doesn’t want him going around thinking he’s hot shit? I was gonna say that this is pretty unnecessary, but I just remembered the whole “Bullying Ikuya For Sport” thing, so I guess I’m not one to talk… Anyway, he goes on to say something rather curious about Ikuya’s performance at prelims: “Don’t show me such mediocre swimming. There’s too big of a gap between you and Sudou…even though there’s someone rooting for you.” Does he think that Ikuya’s performance should be enhanced knowing that he has Hiyori back home rooting for him? While that’s an awfully romantic statement, it’s not exactly realistic! Then later, Kinjou confides to Hiyori that he’s jealous of Ikuya because he’s “blessed” …presumedly in the form of cheerleaders Natsuya and Hiyori. Perhaps knowing that Ikuya takes his support system for granted is what makes Kinjou dislike him. (And perhaps he and I have more in common than I thought!) Then again, in the second part of the Final Stroke, Kinjou apologizes to Ikuya for “always lashing out” at him and Hiyori, effectively resolving the matter less than two minutes into the movie. So…that’s that?  

Then there’s the business with Kinjou’s cousin, Kiyo. What the hell happened to him? Is he even still alive? Because I know next to nothing about this mystery relative, Kinjou’s conversation with Ryuuji about him “going through a lot” is really confusing! And then in the next movie, Ryuuji says to Kinjou, “I’ll save you someday, too!” LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. (And in case you forgot, Ryuuji, your only charge ends up in rehab after one season of you coaching him! You aren’t in any position to be saving anybody, bitch!!) Anyway, it’s obvious that Kinjou’s arrogance is his way of overcompensating for the fact that he’s a lot more sensitive and cares more than he wants to let on. He’s something of a tsundere whose actions run contrarian to his words—because while he keeps saying that he’s only swimming for himself, he joins the Haru protection squad and swims to give Haru a chance at competing in the final. So, in short, I think Kinjou is alright, but I haven’t spent enough time with him to get to know him, y’know?

Albert is something of an enigma, but mostly because I have no idea what his motivations are. He’s an ominous figure in the world of swimming, with the nickname “Odin” instead of the usual animal motif. Mikhail cautions Rin that his swimming is “out of this world” and Isuzu says there are rumours that anyone who swims with him “feels their mind being torn apart.” But when he meets Haru, he seems…nice? He’s not arrogant like Kinjou and he actually seemed to be kind of free-spirited. We see that he’s an exceptionally quick learner and he acknowledges Haru as a swimmer. Nevertheless, competing against Albert disrupted Haru’s subconsciousness (in that the answer to the big “why do you swim” question gets fuzzy in his mind) …but I’m not exactly sure why. Mind you, Albert’s interactions with Haru after they met are just downright bizarre. He says such cryptic shit like, “The water favours you, I can tell,” but he seemed so genuinely pleased that I can’t get a proper read on him at all!

It’s my understanding that Albert’s team manager is living vicariously through him, and so Albert has been strapped with the expectations and dreams of someone else. I can understand why he’s a clinical swimmer because the only things that matter to his team are his appearances and results. With that all said, I wonder if Albert chose to miss the finals in Sydney partly as an act of defiance against his manager and partly to fuck with the psyche of other swimmers—especially after dismissing Kinjou completely before the semi-finals and telling Haru that he’s “not swimming for fun today. I’m just going out there to do my job.”

Feeling as though he had to take on Albert alone is what made Haru “throw everything away” (in the form of a dissociative episode where he breaks things off with Rin), and then launch himself into self-destructive training under Ryuuji. The second part of the Final Stroke is all about Haru recanting that idea and accepting the support of others. Meanwhile, Albert is hardly in this movie at all! I think my biggest question is whether or not Albert likes or wants to break the spirits of other swimmers. I honestly don’t think he does, so I can’t help but feel bad for him. Still, his general cadence is so fucking weird! I have no clue what he’s thinking at all!

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Message in a Bottle II

For anon, who asked my thoughts about the character arcs of the primary characters in Free!

My first impression of Rin was not good. I remember thinking, “Who the hell does this guy think he is?” But by the end of the first season, I found out exactly who he is, and I adored him (and still do). Much like how he swims, Rin tends to strike out boldly but loses steam the longer he goes. This is to say that the guy has a hard time pacing himself—he expects too much too soon and becomes disappointed when his abilities fall short of his ambition. Rin’s skill is mostly the result of hard work and dedication as opposed to natural talent, and as he got older, he became increasingly aware of his own shortcomings despite always giving his best. This dampened his carefree spirit and left bitterness and anger in its place—anger at himself for failing to meet his own expectations, followed by anger for being so angry in the first place. I think that Rin internalized the notion that he had to do it all alone, lest he prove himself unworthy of sharing a dream with his father. If his childhood rival could still beat him despite not training and despite being away from him, then he thought he must just not be good enough. The turning point for Rin was being reminded by Haru that they’re stronger together—a truth Rin imparted to Haru back in middle school.

I believe that anger and passion are sisters—the difference between them is their connotation. Anger denotes negativity while passion denotes positivity, but both are indicative of strong feelings either way. Rin is made up entirely of strong feelings. They manifest in the form of goading words, toothy grins, volatile outbursts, and hot tears—all marvellous and all quintessentially Rin. At the end of the day, his biggest hurdle is himself. In his own words, “In competitions, my weakness comes out. I have to win against myself first.” He tends to bite off more than he can chew, and he ends up choking. And yet, the same desire to want to bite down in the first place is what compels him to keep trying and what pushes him to achieve his ambitions. Rin is as dynamic as they come, contradictions abound. It’s contagious.

~~~~

Out of everyone, I’ve taken perhaps the most care and consideration when writing about Haru. Maybe because he’s unconventional and a bit odd, it felt especially important to try to understand him on his own terms. While Haru gives the impression that he’s unfeeling and uninterested, he has a complex inner world that he struggles to articulate to others. He understands the weight of a statement like “I only swim free,” and isn’t the type to say more than he needs to. The problem is that the whole meaning of what he says, while obvious to him, is often lost on others. As a result, Haru often feels misunderstood because he assumes the people around him know how he feels without explicitly being told, when, in reality, they don’t and can’t.

Throughout the entire series, Haru has grappled with being vulnerable, both to the people around him and privately to himself. He’s never said so aloud, but I think Haru spent a good part of his adolescence feeling really lonely. His sense of normalcy involved being unsure that the people who exited his life would actually come back. Maybe admitting to loneliness aloud would just make his feelings all the more real, and he prides himself on being strong and self-sufficient, so acknowledging that feeling wasn’t something he could afford to do. By the time he was a teenager, Haru looked largely numb to the world around him. He went through the motions simply so that he could go home and wish his life away from the bathtub. Once bitten, twice shy, Haru was afraid to let people in because he knew it could hurt both ways. He wasn’t aloof because he didn’t care, it was because he cared so much that it scared him.

Why does he swim and what is it that he swims for? The short answer is love. Haru comes alive when he swims. He’s fully present. It’s the place he goes to hide from himself and it’s the place he’s laid bare and exposed completely. I can’t think of little Haru crying without tearing up myself. He’s got all this love in him, but he doesn’t know how to name it, let alone how to convey it to other people.

It’s incredibly hard not to feel proud of Haru and how he’s grown up. The moments where he’s brave and he vocalizes his gratitude, his fears, and his desires are some of the best moments of the series. The simplest way to plot Haruka’s growth is his willingness to swim in different roles—from soloing in free to being the anchor in the medley to doing all the strokes in university. Throughout it all, Haru is Haru—and he’s pretty damn special.  

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It’s hard to explain why I like Makoto the least out of the main five. His arc centres around his own cowardice or a general lack of self-confidence, but many of his fears are so circumstantial that they won’t follow him around everywhere. He has a fear of bugs, ghosts, the ocean…big deal. Those aren’t things he has to confront on a daily basis. The big one was the fear of water, or of some unknown evil lurking within. This fear never really stopped Makoto from doing anything though, it just meant Haru had to come along too. In the second volume of the Starting Days light novel, there’s a poignant scene where Makoto leaves the house and goes to a place “where Haru isn’t”—the beach. When Haru finds him and asks what he’s doing there, Makoto says, “I wanted to make sure that I would be alright, even if you weren’t here… Would you be alright even if I weren’t here?” In this instance, Makoto is asking whether or not he can stand on his own two feet because he wonders, without Haru, would all he be is fear?

The answer, of course, is no—fear is not Makoto’s defining characteristic. Although he may be unsure of himself at times, the proof is in the proverbial pudding. He can cope with Haru being away and he has the chops to coach others. Makoto’s self-doubt has never held him back from achieving success—save for being unable to be the one to save Rei from drowning out in the ocean, I guess? Still, he was supportive of others while he was afraid, and he was supportive of others when he wasn’t.      

Perhaps because I never saw much fight in Makoto (as there was no internal conflict that caused him external grief or affected his relationships), I don’t feel like he developed as a character at all. You know exactly what you’re gonna get when it comes to Makoto. That predictability, while comfortable to some, is boring and frustrating to others. The only glimpse of a different side of Makoto I saw that wasn’t his usual upturned eyebrows was during the water gun fight at Samezuka’s cultural festival. Only for a moment did Makoto seem competitive and unnerving…but it was only for a game.

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Although he seemed quite cold at the outset, Rei revealed himself to be highly emotive and flamboyant. Rationality and the sublime are usually treated as polar opposites, but Rei embodies both simultaneously. Indeed, he employs theory and calculation explicitly in the pursuit of beauty. His arc deals with self-acceptance and celebrating the things that others perceive as a deficit—his neuroticism, his need to check and double check, and to overprepare. In learning to swim the butterfly, Rei came into his own. Not even he can articulate why, but it was initially the only stroke he could do. The closest thing to an explanation I can think of was that in being taught by the other guys, Rei was trying too hard to live up to the way they swim. Since he had no preconceptions about what the butterfly was supposed to be, he was able to claim ownership over the stroke and do it his own way. Oftentimes, the most precious things are the ones a person struggles to explain.

I think out of everyone, Rei’s admiration of Haru is the purest, because he doesn’t admire his ability to swim, per se. The thing he admires is Haru’s authenticity. Rei knows what it’s worth to live in a way that’s true to oneself because that’s the thing he’s been apprehensive to do since he was a little kid. Essentially, Rei is a spectacled dork. He’s theatrics as much as he is analytical, and the coalescence of these things is beautiful.

~~~

Nagisa’s problems lived in the background where nobody else could really see them. He’s cheeky and his positivity is infallible, but he struggled with finding a (school) work/life balance and preferred to run away from it, hoping that the issue would resolve itself naturally. This wasn’t to be. The short of it was that academics made him miserable. He scored fine in middle school, but all he did was study and so he developed an aversion to it by the time he got to high school. This is to say that Nagisa’s problem is excess, or an inability to do things in moderation. Since he was the one to promote a “come as you are” attitude to Rei before he joined the swim club, it was only natural he return the favour and remind Nagisa that his weaknesses can also be his strengths. The same dedication and tenacity Nagisa applied to the swim club’s recruitment can be applied to standing up for himself to his parents and for finding a way to make schoolwork manageable without sacrificing his happiness in the process.

Nagisa brings his dreams and schemes to life, and he has the uncanny ability to thaw the hearts of those prone to stoicism. He’s just so cute you can’t help but want to look after him!

~~~~

As for which character arc I think is my favourite…it’s hard to say. The most obvious and dramatic was the change I saw in Rin. My feelings toward him did a complete 180, making him my obvious favourite character overall. Anyone who can invoke the full range of emotions is someone really special. I think the person who grew the most, however, is Haru. Comparatively speaking, Haru’s growth was subtle and quiet—it swelled. When I think of him, I feel proud. His hesitancy to be vulnerable is going to be a lifelong struggle for him. He’s going to be misunderstood and he’s going to have to be brave in order to be heard and seen properly. I understand why Haru has so many admirers. It’s bigger than just swimming—a sentiment that governs the whole series and is precisely what has kept me invested in it after all this time. It’s all a big allegory for being true to yourself and authentic with others, I’m telling you! And maybe I’m reading too much into a sports anime and ought to drop the red string and take down the corkboard, but this is who I am, damn it!

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Message in a Bottle (pt. 1)

For anon, who asked my thoughts about secondary characters in Free!

Without Gou working her magic in the background, none of the conflict of season one could have been resolved. She became the Iwatobi swim club’s manager (primarily) because she wanted to reunite her brother with his old friends and hoped that in doing so, he’d start smiling and opening up again. Despite having no sports background and never having put a training regimen together before, Gou improvised with the resources she could find and did the proper fieldwork. All this is to say that she took her managerial responsibilities seriously for Iwatobi’s sake as well as for Rin. She’s earnest and hardworking (albeit a wee bit too ambitious where muscles are concerned) and made a great coach despite her inexperience. She’s a great sister to Rin who she never stopped reaching out to even when he neglects to answer. I do really wish we got to learn what Gou’s secret plans for the future were though! How’re you just going to tease a secret and then not tell me?!

Kisumi serves an interesting function in the series because he doesn’t swim and yet he’s in the loop about what virtually everyone else is up to. He’s a bit of a smartass, often trying to get a rise out of Asahi (by making fun of him) and Haru (by being in the vicinity), but he’s a good guy as well as a reliable source of information. As something of an outsider, Kisumi has also said things I was thinking while watching the show in real-time. For example, in Dive to the Future when Makoto is to race Hiyori for the “right” to be Ikuya’s friend, Kisumi says, “Is there really a point to this? Isn’t it kinda childish to bet things in contests like this? I don’t get it.” Indeed, although Kisumi is right that it’s really fucking juvenile to race for the “right” to be someone’s friend, swimming is like its own language to these guys, so Makoto will learn something important about Hiyori if they compete—and frankly, so will we, so I’m glad Kisumi asked!

I wasn’t terribly fond of Sousuke at first because of his hostility towards Haru and his bad attitude more generally. Instead of using the word “reminiscing” when thinking about his childhood in season two, he says he’s recalling “phantoms of the past.” Like, you wanna lighten up a little there? Sheesh! You could almost see the dark cloud hanging over his head! And while I can totally understand wanting to protect his friend, it still isn’t his place to tell Haru to stay out of Rin’s way or to say having Rin participate in Iwatobi’s disqualifying relay in season one was “idiotic.” Over time, however, we see Sousuke soften up in his interactions with others. He comes to appreciate the value of swimming together instead of soloing and he spends a good deal of time mentoring his juniors. It was lovely to see his recovery over the course of the series and how he came to accept that although his timeline may look different than others, there’s nothing wrong with doing things at his own pace.

My first notes about Ai were that he was “an insecure first-year,” and that I didn’t know for sure what stroke he swam. He reminded me of a remora with the way he followed Rin around. Of course, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor kid because his encouragement fell on deaf ears and most of his attempts to reach out were dismissed—what with Rin often refusing to dignify him with any answers to his questions. It was good to see Ai gain confidence in himself over time though! Leadership looks good on him. I also appreciate that despite his ability to plan itineraries down to the minute, his living space is in a constant state of disarray. (Though, I still can’t fathom what would compel a person to bring their umbilical cord with them to boarding school…or anywhere for that matter!) He’s a bit of a disaster, and maybe a bit too earnest for his own good, but he’s a nice kid through and through.

Momo is a joy. He may not be the smartest and may not have much of an attention span, but his enthusiasm is unmatched. The kid scores a 7 on a test and instead of thinking anything remotely negative or self-deprecating, he instead believes the number is a sign of good luck. What a joyful way to move about the world! He’s equally unapologetic about the things he likes (which include but are not limited to stag beetles, capibaras, Gou, hot springs, and Dangerous Ookuchin Hosoeson-kun, among other things), and remains a good sport in the face of defeat. I don’t think there’s a negative bone in his body. He’s “joie de vivre” incarnate!  

Much like his little brother, Seijuuro is boisterous and kind of dumb, but he has a heart of gold. Initially, he maintained a pretty cutthroat swimming culture at Samezuka, saying that “the past doesn’t matter. Performance is what counts here. The fastest swimmer wins. That’s all there is to it.” But by the time he enters university, he says instead that “there are many ways to get stronger! Past teammates and friendships can contribute to your strength in the present. There are lots of things that are important besides just practising.” For a meathead, he can be awfully wise, huh? He also doesn’t use a swim cap at all for some reason…but to be fair, most (if not all) of the other characters that do use one wear the damn thing incorrectly anyway. And I’m sure it’s to help us at home distinguish who’s who more easily, but that’s why you give them all different jammers and goggles tinted in different colours!

Isuzu is undoubtedly the coolest of her siblings, though I would have liked to see more of her to get to know her better! She compliments Haru on his triceps the first time they meet, which were what Gou had described as his charm point in high school—meaning that Isuzu and Gou are something of muscle-fanatic soulmates. The two of them proceed to induct Ayumu into the muscle cult and I’m frankly left sitting here waiting for my invite! Sure, I can’t confidently identify biceps from triceps or quadriceps from…hamstrings(?), but I promise I have the spirit!  

Nao is refreshingly no-nonsense and calls it as he sees it. Wise beyond his years, Nao’s advice is always astute and pertinent. He’s someone I’d look up to if I ever got to meet him. I just think he’s really cool! His adeptness at observation made him a hell of a coach even back in middle school and he’s only gotten better at it as he’s gotten older. And maybe I’m a wee bit biased because he’s said some of the things I’d like to say to other characters, but that’s neither here nor there.

Asahi is another goofball. He likes to show off and talk about how great he is, he’s highly reactive, and also an idiot. It’s quite easy to get under his skin and get him riled up if he feels like he’s being made fun of, hence his need to boast. His plight in Starting Days was one of the most baffling in the entire series: he “forgot” how to swim the front crawl. I’m not sure that’s something a person can forget to do, but that’s probably because it wasn’t that he actually forgot, he just lacked the courage to try out of a fear of looking silly/not being the best. Frankly, that’s something a lot of people can relate to, me included! His willingness to look inward (instead of continuing to blame Haru) is perhaps what I appreciate the most about Asahi. He took accountability and was able to grow as a character. It was also really sweet to see that as a young adult, he still says positive words of affirmation to himself in the mirror! While it may feel silly, it’s important to treat oneself with kindness regardless of if one feels they’re actually the best or not!

Mikhail, while a bit out of the loop concerning whatever’s cool with the youth these days, is a delight. He gives helpful advice (saying cute things like “having a lot of baggage is what makes life richer! [Even if] sometimes that baggage weighs you down too,”) and understands that sometimes what a person needs isn’t to be told what they did wrong and could instead benefit from some time to hurt. Meanwhile, Ryuuji tears into Rin and Ikuya’s performances at Sydney’s prelims to Haru—deliberately singling out the people he knows are important to him even though they swim different strokes—dismisses hard work that doesn’t yield the desired results, and then he sends Haru to bed saying, “all that matters is how you do in free tomorrow.” I’m not even supposed to be talking about Ryuuji yet and here I am getting pissed off at him in advance! Mikhail, in contrast, is kind in that he gives Rin the space to figure things out for himself while offering his support in the meantime. I also find it incredibly amusing to imagine Ai and Mikhail corresponding back and forth about how well-built Rin is—they couldn’t not have, right?

[rovmustang-archive]

no but if you don't think that the range of emotions haru showed in this ep wasn't a direct result of finally being at peace with himself, what he wanted, his dreams, his feelings re: swimming, then you weren't paying attention. 

being distracted by something looming over you keeps you from feeling and processing things regularly and that's what we saw, week in and week out until ep 12 when rin showed him that he could still follow his dream—but he had to take the first step and move forward.

once he did that, things became much clearer for him and i'm so happy and so proud.

[rovmustang-archive]

i just don't understand the people that are trying to claim that haru suddenly wanting to swim again doesn't make sense/people saying haru's anxiety re: going pro was due to haru not wanting to swim

uh, no. when someone really really loves something, when it means something to them (and we can all agree swimming means the fucking world to nanase haruka), it means that sometimes when they're faced with doing that thing they love, there's so much more riding on it. they're 10 times more invested and as a result they have so much more to lose.

and when people expect nothing but the best from you? when they put pressure on you and think you're nearly incapable of messing up? shit, that just makes the stakes even higher because suddenly there's a real chance of disappointing other people. compound that risk by 10 if there's a chance you could disappoint people you care about, people you respect.

and all of this pressure is enough to make anyone anxious about doing something, even if they love to do it—to the point where sometimes they just want to get away from it. and it's terrible, because they want nothing more than to continue doing what they love, but all of the risk and doubt surrounding that thing is just too much to stand. so they're stuck in this terrible place where they're afraid to keep chasing after what they love but at the same time, they're itching to jump back into the game.

which is why rin's method of getting haru to 'look up and see the expanding world' was so on-point because it helped haru to see and understand that he is capable of this, he is good enough to swim alongside professional swimmers. and it helped him to see that on his own.

haru never didn't want to swim. he was just worried he'd take the jump and end up crashing and burning.

[doctor-queenie]

Guys I have a really no nice feeling about this, about the real reason Sousuke came to Samezuka.

Like we know it's about Rin and Rin only.

We know Sousuke had seen the relay on ep 12

We know how he feels about it. I thought it was stupid and that he would have never done this to Rin. Like if it was the MOST TERRIBLE THING IN THE WORLD. So I know Sousuke didn't know (or so we think) about what happened to Rin in first season but he doesn't even ask him (ask RIN) why he did that stupid thing.

So here I have 2 ways of thinking.

Either Sousuke was at the regionals by accident. Like he was there...for a reason not directly related to Rin. Maybe some scouts were there too. Why not.

And so his resolve to come back to Samezuka for Rin is born from that moment. Like, he saw the relay and then he knew he had to do something for Rin. Because maybe the relay messed up with Rin changes to get scouted? Like, people might have seen it and thought 'well that guy isn't serious we can't consider him regardless how good he is' thing?

To me it's just evident that Sousuke knows something about Rin's future that we don't, and it's so bad that Sousuke doesn't even tell it to Rin. That's why he is pushing him.

And the reason why I think it's linked to the relay is because of how he behaves with Haru near the vending machine. 'Don't get in Rin's way' it doesn't refers to his times (I think) because Rin can get scouted with Butterfly but then why would Sousuke thread Haru like that? It feels more like a 'don't be friend with Rin cause you're making him do crazy things that maybe will end up with him not being scouted' kind of things.

Or, second hypothesis, Sousuke went to the regionals because of Rin. And so from then we can't really know what he could know...

Sorry long post and I have no image cause I'm not on my big computer XD but I dunno what do you think about it? I'm so scaaared of what could happened to my bby Rin ;__;