I was out of my house for an engagement all of yesterday, and wasn't able to watch and react to this, when it dropped. Which is why y'all are getting my thoughts quite late. BUT, LET IT NOT BE SAID THAT I DIDN'T HAVE MY SAPPHICS KISSING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE EVENT!!! Why do I have to be a functioning human, when I can just spend all day, lazing in bed and imagining that I was in this show and Tee was mine?????????????????
Anyway, on to my reaction.
Awwwww. And we're starting with that, hands-shaking-knees-knocking-breath-catching nervousness when you're in bed with your crush and your brain is scrambling with all the emotions!!!!! I really love how that nervous excitement is portrayed differently on both Sam and Mon. I AM SQUEALING like a fucking pig!!!
2. Wait hold up. So when she meant "let's go to bed" she really meant "let's go to bed?" Sam. Honey. There's a big bed. Right there? And you're with your crush!! She's lying right there! Soft and clean and wrapped in your sheets... BEDS ARE NOT ONLY MEANT FOR SLEEPING!!!!!
3. Sam inhaling Mon's scent is the most sensual thing I have ever seen. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
4. Wait. Wait. WAIT!!!!!! What in the edging nonsense is this??? Sam, what do you mean by you're going to bed. That can't be all. YOU BETTER COME FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED! Jesus. This woman. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MON AND ME???? You can'y have us hot and bothered and just stop. What the fuck?????
5. I am Mon's frustrated "tch" sound. I feel you Mon. I feel you. The audacity of her sexy ass. And the fact that she actually slept? THE NERVE!
6. Okay. That squeak at the screen is funny af. But also, I'm just noticing her nails. Sam, girl. I hope you weren't planning on putting those nails, with all 'dem stones inside my baby girl Mon. Cuz, hell to the NO! Where is your lesbian etiquette??? Get your nails in order!!! Santana taught you better than that!
7. Of all the things to be watching right now... Lions fucking? Seriously? THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING RIOT!!!!
8. Hehehehehehe. Mon is totally fucking with her. She KNEW what "Do it" meant, and totally decided to misunderstand it as wanting to pray instead. And you know what? Girl, I support you. Sam left you all hot and bothered, all night long. Let your inner brat shine!!!!!
9. Mon is giving you so many chances to just say it. Tell her you want to fuck her Sam. She wants it. You want it. WE ALL WANT IT!!!
10. Urgh! Kirk's back with his heterosexual bullshit. Boy, she's not going through with firing Mon, not because of your ass. But because that's her girl, and of course she wasn't going to fire her anyway. Sam is NOT interested in marrying you. EVERYONE can see it. Except maybe you. And her witch of a grandmother. Urgh! Future bride my ass.
11. Gghghghhjghjghjghjg. Chin and Yha are TOTALLY acting suspicious. Why do I get the feeling that both of them are dating as well. Rofl.
12. The hilarity of everyone assuming that Kirk and Mon are secretly dating behind Sam's back, and not realizing that it's Sam and Mon that are secretly dating behind Kirk's back. The drama of this whole scene is sending me!!!
13. Sam's coworkers: Ooooh Kirk must be messaging her to flirt with her.
Me, who knows it's Sam sending Mon all the kissing emojis and begging her not to be angry anymore:
14. Sam's friends are me! I am Sam's friends!!! See their excitement as Mon starts to describe their night together. I'm waiting for the "THAT's IT?????!" screech that would rightfully follow when she's done, cuz THAT IS HOW I FELT TOO!!!!
15. Jim's "OMG. I'm about to go crazy here" is making me feel so seen! Girl, you are about to go crazy, from just hearing about it. Imagine how I felt! I was watching the stupidity in real time!! Sam and her sexually frustrating ass!!
16. Give her ALL the advice Tee. Look at my queen Tee. She's holding court and laying down the law. "You don't have to top her, but be receptive." A FUCKING QUEEN!!! Tee. Mommy. Goddess. Top me. Please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you. I'm on my knees!!!!
17. Did Sam just tell Mon "to eat with you"? Cuz, it looks more "to eat you", if you ask me. And with Sam's smirk, and Mon's gulp, I think I'm right. Hehehehehe. I swear, if there isn't at the very least, some heavy petting in this office, I will riot!
18. Sam's "girl I was about to do a lady and the tramp re-enactment of the spaghetti scene, and you blew me off" frustrated huffs are sending me!!! And you can't even complain about that Khun Sam. Now you know how it feels!!!
19. She's adorable!!! She actually watched movies as research!! Sam my beloved queen.
20. The kisses. All that tongue. ALL THAT TONGUE!!! The hands on Mon's thigh. The "let me do it". The touching and kissing, and walking backwards, and kissing more against the stairs.... I am dead. Deceased. Dead and buried!!! Ghhjgjhghjghjghjghjghjghjghjghjghjhjg.
21. Did they just include a nosebleed in this??? I'm dead! I'm fucking dead! OMG!!!! Gghjghjgjhgjhgjhgjhjhg. This show is the best!!!! Rofl!!!
22. I love LOVE how they both called their individual friends to ask them about sex, when we both know their respective friends are actually already in their very own relationship. Hell, I won't be surprised if Tee and Yuki have already had sex. Tee's too smooth to keep a girl horny and frustrated. You know what? Good on Sam for asking Tee for advice. She and I KNOW THAT TEE'S GOT GAME!!!
23. Also, shout out to Yuki for knowing all about women having sex with other women!! Aaaaaaaand this totally confirms that she's been having sex with Tee. I can feel it in my bones!!!
24. Sam and Mon being oblivious to Jim bringing them whiskey to help them get out of their own heads and on to fucking each other, is making me laugh so hard. Jim, beloved. You are a service to sapphics EVERYWHERE!!! I am so sorry that your friend is a dumbass and her girlfriend is just as clueless.
25. FINALLY!!! SOMEONE SAID IT! Shout out to Jim, the patron saint of the lesbians!!! She finally mentioned the nails!!! I was wondering when Sam was going to realize it! Thank the fuck!!!
26. The way I was screaming in frustration at Mon stopping Sam from continuing. Like girl!!! We have been waiting FOREVER!!! But her asking that all important question makes so much sense. Sam is still engage to Kirk the heterosexual ideal, and it isn't fair to him or Mon for Sam to basically be playing them both. Now I know Sam has promised to break up with Kirk after she and Mon have sex, but you know what? I'm not holding my breath. Between Kirk and her grandmother, I don't see Sam being able to successfully end it, and that is going to cause my baby girl Mon, so much pain.
27. Baby's first orgasm. I am so proud. I'm crying. That was so hot. And so beautiful. Freen and Becky really did that. THEY DID THAT! You both did so good!!!
28. Yooooo!!! They actually finished the entire bottle of scotch. Wow! Just wow!!
29. Mon's satisfied "I got ate out for hours" smile is making me so damn happy. You go girlfriend!! You got the girl, the orgasms and that glow!!! Here is hoping we get many more of these before we are hit with the pain!
30. Fggjhghjghjghjghjghj. Sam's friends are the BEST. I repeat. THEY ARE THE BEST!!!!
31. Sam's giddy, "I did it with Mon" Facebook post, and smile. This episode has me giddy with ALL THE JOY!!! SO much joy!!!!
32. Look at them making out in the office. I love it for them! But they are sooooo going to get caught. But damn. Since Sam's gotten a taste of our girl, she just can't stop kissing her!!! And you know what? Valid! Absolutely valid.
33. Mon sweetheart. You're such a good egg. Look at you being so concerned about Kirk. You know he's not going to extend that same concern to you if he was in your shoes, right?
34. I knew it. I knew it. This thing with all three of them being on Facebook, and Sam, posting everything with such glee is going to come and bite them in the ass. Kirk might be a backstabbing twat, but he isn't stupid. He's going to figure it out soon. Best break up with him soon Sam.
35. Damn. Her coworkers really have spun this false narrative about Mon dating Kirk and that being the reason why she was fired. They have no idea that the truth is so much weirder than fiction.
36. Sam. Honey. What are you doing??? How can you even believe that Mon would do that that? You know her! Yes, I know it's your insecurities and fears acting up, but you know her!!! You know better than to do this??? You can't take all this shit that you're saying back. Why are you hurting your girl like this?
37. Aaaaaand of course Kirk is here to make everything worse. Boy, did you not hear her say that people at work saw you talking with her and holding her hands, and now assume that you both together? Why are you STILL talking to her and holding her hands???? Let her go, and go sort out your own problems. Urgh!!!!
38. Sam. Sam. Sam. Why? Just... why? Fuck.
39. Aaaaaand of course. Nop is just right there. Didn't she tell you she's not interested in you? When will you get a fucking clue? She's not interested Nop. Be a friend in this moment. That's all she needs.
40. Look at my baby girl crying. I should have known that all that joy in this episode was lulling me into a false sense of complacency. Now look. Mon and I are both crying. Sam why???????
41. You know, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Sam girl, Nop is right. WHY ARE YOU SO INTENT ON BREAKING YOUR GIRL??? WHAT THE FUCK?!!! Now you're implying that she's hopping from man to man? Mon. Slap her. Slap her. Just hit her straight in the face. WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!
42. Oh no you don't. You have ZERO right to be crying right now Sam. None. ZERO. NONE!!!
Urgh!! Why??? Why couldn't we just get an entire episode filled with happiness? Don't I deserve good things? Don't we all?!!!! I swear, if episode 9 doesn't start with Sam on her knees begging, I AM GOING TO RIOT!! Y'all have a week to fix this. FIX IT!!!
