I love reading your posts on Payback and the relationship dynamics between Jay and Sun. Most of the time I feel validated cuz what you write as your understanding and speculations about their D/s relationship is what I felt and thought while watching it. Thank you for sharing them here!
I also agree with liking their relationship more in the series because how Jay seems to genuinely care for and love Sun more here than in the manhwa where he felt cold and hard to connect with as a character...Jay really felt more like a psycho in the manhwa lmao.
Plus ToptapMinlee chemistry is just 💯!!!!!
So, what do you love the most about their dynamics (you can state multiple things if you want) and also what is your most favorite scene in the series?
It's difficult for me to say exactly what I enjoyed about their dynamic, because most of what I enjoyed are things I would NEVER condone in real life. Consent is queen for me. Jay harassed and sexually assaulted Sun. And while I would very much like to just enjoy this as the dark fantasy it is, I find myself feeling deeply concerned that my enjoyment of it might make people who are inexperienced in kink believe that Jay's behavior is acceptable. It's not. And the fact that at no point do Sun and Jay negotiate their relationship bothers me deeply as well, especially the fact that they don't have a safe word. A safe word is something that entirely stops the play(what we call engaging in any aspect of BDSM, including Dom/sub dynamics) so that the people involved can discuss if something that's happening isn't okay for them. Sun can't do that. He just has to hope that Jay will listen if he says he doesn't like something and, as we've seen, Jay does not appear inclined to do that. Sun begged Jay not to cut himself in order to punish Sun, and Jay ignored him. Sun did not agree to the kind of punishment Jay subjected him to, and his desire to submit to Jay impeded his ability to set clear boundaries, something that absolutely happens in real relationships far too often, and has happened to me before as well. In the kink community, we would not call what they have a Dom/sub dynamic. We would call it abuse, regardless of the fact that Sun enjoys a lot of it.
The problem is that I'm now feeling such an intense sense of responsibility for the message I put out there given the decade and a half of experience I have in BDSM. The very last thing I want is for a baby kinkster to end up in a bad situation because of something I wrote.
Apologies, this is likely not the response you wanted. Their relationship pushed me to rejoin the BDSM scene after several years away from it(I've still been doing kinky things on an individual level, just with long term secondary partners) in order to both have community and find a primary Dom/romantic partner, which means that I've had to become much more aware of appropriate behavior from unknown Doms again so that I myself don't end up in a bad situation. Plus, I've had people who are genuinely interested in BDSM reach out to me because of my posts, which has sharply reminded me that I can't just go around calling abusive dynamics D/s.
It's hard, because this show and these actors have done a beautiful job at capturing the emotional essence of how Doms and subs relate to each other. The intimacy and intensity of what it's like to experience that sort of connection. It's a deeply unique type of relationship, and one that is incredibly hard to explain to people who aren't drawn to dominance and submission. Forgive me for the cliché analogy, but it's like trying to describe color to someone who only sees in black and white. So getting to see it displayed on screen in such an emotionally accurate fashion, especially since Jay is a sadist, something I'd yet to see, at least to that extent, in a BL show, was quite intoxicating.
However, I can no longer in good conscience call what was being displayed D/s. Too many people who are inexperienced in kink yet are also deeply drawn to it have told me how much my posts mean to them, and I just cannot allow myself to continue to discuss the aspects of Jay and Sun's relationship that demonstrate how being in a D/s dynamic feels as if what they have is something that in the scene we would call D/s. Because we wouldn't.
I'm very glad if I've helped people understand themselves better and see how certain parts of Jay and Sun's relationship reflects D/s dynamics, but I beg y'all to understand that their relationship isn't okay and it is absolutely NOT how you should engage in BDSM. If any of y'all have any questions, please, please feel free to reach out, either via ask or DM.
Thank you for sending this. I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you what you wanted, but I hope I gave you something you needed.
