opiate withdrawal day 3
5:30pm woke up this morning with terrible stomach cramps. those quickly subsided and moved to my lower right abdomen. obviously, i freaked out and thought i had appendicitis. my partner took me to the ER and they did the usual: urinalysis, blood work, CT scan. after the urinalysis they gave me morphine which gave me an immediate rush and subsided seconds later. i wouldn’t consider it a relapse. after everything came back, i was diagnosed with diverticulitis. after my little stint in the ER, i was still in severe pain. i decided to get a $40 bag. this is what i consider my relapse. i just finished a fat line and it tastes like shit and heaven all at once. i’m happy and pain-free. my dude always hooks me up with a little extra and i couldn’t be more grateful for that today. i’m going to take some DXM in hopes to lower my tolerance a bit before i do anymore, so i can save a little bit for my partner. i hate doing dope with my girlfriend so much, but i know she loves it as much as i do. thinking back, she was such a good kid. although she is older than me by almost two years, her drug experience was nothing compared to mine. i feel as though i’ve corrupted her. and I hate myself for it. sometimes i think breaking up with her and moving away would keep her away from the dope but we’re so goddamn dependent on each other, i know it wouldn’t work. either way, heroin always wins. i’ll pick it over anything. and there’s nothing like having a relaxing, happy night with the person i love.