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[In the bathroom]
Anne: Wait a second, guys! Can we talk for a second about how the toilet paper in this bathroom is directly behind your head? That’s the worst possible spot for the toilet paper to be!
Joan: Pull it out like you pull arrows from a quill!
Cathy: You mean from a quiver?
Kitty: “From a quill.” Are you a fucking hedgehog, Joan?
Aragon: You are incredibly irresponsible with money, Joan.
Joan: I haven’t bought anything dumb!
Joan: Recently
Joan, to the queens: Alright, guys, I'm trying to be the first person to fight a living goblin, but I have a problem.
Joan: I'm a Catholic.
Joan: I'm not a Protestant, I believe in God, and everyone knows the only place you find goblins is in hell.
Joan: So here's my solution.
Joan: Party City.
Joan: Come to Party City, one of you will dress up in a goblin outfit, and the rest of us can beat the shit out of you for ten bucks. We'll just beat the shit out of them for ten bucks, that's all I'm asking.
Joan: Please, I need to pay rent
Katherine: How much taller is Aragon than you?
Bessie: Fuckin- I don’t know.
Anne: How tall are you?
Bessie: I’m 5’1.
Aragon: I’m 5’9.
Bessie:
Bessie: My eight inches went somewhere else.
Bessie: Did you guys know that Parr’s name is actually “Pear”?
Cathy: That’s just not true.
Bessie: That’s what you want the rest of the world to think. But I’ve met your godmother, and she whispered it in my ear right after she-
Cathy: You’ve also called my godmother the “demon of harvest”! And you expect me to believe anything you have to say?
Bliss!Jane: You are incredibly irresponsible with money, Joan.
Bliss!Joan: I haven’t bought anything dumb!
Bliss!Joan: Recently!
Bessie: Alright, everyone, breathing exercises. Breathing exercises.
Her girls: *starts breathing heavier*
Bessie: No no no no no no-
Bessie: That’s doesn’t mean breathe harder!!
*Looking for a house*
Maria: Wait a second, guys! Can we talk for a second about how the toilet paper in this bathroom is directly behind your head? That’s the worst possible spot for the toilet paper to be!
Maggie: Pull it out like you pull arrows from a quill!
Bessie: You mean from a quiver?
Joan: “From a quill”! Are you a fucking hedgehog, Maggie?
