Mar 18, 2020
Maria: Okay so we couldn’t find any candles but
Joan: *holding a lemon with two cigarettes stabbed in it*
Maria, Maggie, and Joan: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you
Bessie:
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Maria: Okay so we couldn’t find any candles but
Joan: *holding a lemon with two cigarettes stabbed in it*
Maria, Maggie, and Joan: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you
Bessie:
Bessie, scolding Maggie: LISTEN-
Bessie, noticing the height difference: ...
Bessie: Go a bit down. Go a bit down.
Maggie: *kneels*
Bessie: That’s it, on one knee.
Bessie: Good.
Bessie:
Bessie: I’M TELLING YOU——
Strangest things the LiW can do?
“I’m really good at guessing a person’s kink just by their personality.” Maria says proudly. “The look on someone’s face when I say they’re into bondage is priceless!”
“I can stick my shoulder blades out to a concerning length.” Maggie puts in.
“I can suck my stomah in so far my rib cage very prominently sticks out and you can stick a finger under my bottom rib.” Bessie admits, although there’s a touch of embarrassment on her face when she does so.
“I know how to pick locks and tie nooses.” Joan says, not looking up from what she’s working on.
liw favourite and least favourite thing about each other?
“What a loaded question,” Maggie laughs slightly. “I guess I’ll go first.” She glances at the other three nervously. “I’m going to get least favorite things over with first! So!”
“Don’t sound so excited!” Maria barks.
“Shut up!” Maggie yips back. “I don’t like how Maria always blames Anne for Aragon’s divorce.”
Maria when to say something, but Bessie covers her mouth.
“For Bessie... I don’t like how overprotective she is sometimes. And Joan... Probably how pushy she is during rehearsals and shows.” Maggie quickly continues before she could be eaten alive by the other three. “But!! Maria is really sweet and soft and warm and always lets me play with her, Bessie took me under her wing, and Joan made lyrics for Wearing Yellow To A Funeral!”
“Why is the thing you like most about me a song?” Joan asks.
“I- Moving on!” Maggie laughs nervously. “Maria, you go!”
“I don’t know like how Maggie always says I shouldn’t blame Anne for Aragon’s divorce, how jealous Joan is, and how Bessie was reincarnated in an older body, so now I don’t get to mother her.” Maria lists off. “But. I like how Maggie is always willing to do something fun with me, how Joan at least tries to be involved in the family, even when she’s super busy, and how Bessie takes care of me the way I used to take care of her.”
“Aww,” Bessie coos. “I don’t like how Maria has a tendency to share secrets or just random, but embarrassing things about me to other people.” She was jumping right in. “How Maggie stays out late with Anne and won’t tell me where she is, which makes me very worried, and how Joan coops herslef in her room for days and will rarely come out. However... I like how Maria is just here with me and I get to see her everyday, how cuddly and comforting Maggie is, and how happy Joan gets when she tells us about her music.”
“My turn...” Joan said. “Let’s see... I don’t like how Maria always tries to drag me away from my work, how sassy Maggie will sometimes get when I try to give her commands during rehearsals, and how Bessie always tries to act like the strong one even though we all hear her crying when she showers.” She sniffs, slightly miffed. “But I like the intent behind Maria dragging me away from work and how much she cares, how smiley Maggie is and makes me strive to be that way, and how Bessie is able to hold everything inside of her.”
Silence. They all just exchange strange looks, which are mixed with offense and flattery.
“...Do I really cry that loud when I shower?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, absolutely.”
“We get noise complaints.”
have maggie and joan ever had a full on fight over maggie not obeying joan in rehearsal? who's the most random person maria has ever shared a bessie-secret with? has joan ever peed herself bc she refused to use a public bathroom? and do the liw ever get annoyed by the queens?
“I HAVE NEVER——”
Joan is so embarrassed by the question that she has to go sit down and hold her reddened face in her hands.
“Nice one.” Bessie says with a snort. “And, yes. We get annoyed with the queens all the time. Especially Joan. She’s always mumbling about something Kat and Jane were doing.”
Joan is unable to comment on that at the moment.
“To answer the first question, yes, actually.” Maggie laughs slightly. “I once got so annoyed I loudly accused Joan of just trying to show off to Jane and Anne to make them like her. Joan was so flustered she didn’t speak for the rest of the rehearsal. So...whoops!”
“Not as bad as me,” Maria laughs. “I once saw a mother tickling her baby’s belly and after telling her that her baby was cute-”
“Maria.” Bessie says cautiously.
“I told her that-”
“Maria.”
“Bessie liked getting her belly rubbed.”
“MARIA!!” Bessie shrieks. Her face is redder than Joan’s and she looks like she’s about to cry.
“Oh, also she has a tendency to work herself up to tears when she’s embarrassed.”
“Stop it—!!”
Most embarassing/trivial fear for each of the LiW?
“Maria’s afraid of moths.” Bessie admits outright, a devilish smirk on her lips.
“Hey!!” Maria barked. “They are fuzzy and weird looking and always fly in my face-” Her examples aren’t helping her case, so she switches gears. “MAGGIE’S AFRAID OF DOGS!!”
“What did I do?!” Maggie yelps. She’s quite miffed able being dragged into this for no good reason. “You jerk! Dogs are way scarier than moths!”
“Have you ever SEEN that episode of Spongebob?!”
“Oh my god.”
“They got those big eyes and weird tongues and just-” Maria shudders.
“That was a butterfly!!”
“Same thing!!”
Laughing snaps them out of their argument and they turn to Bessie, who’s watching.
“Oh, don’t act like you’re so brave!” Maggie growls.
“I’m not,” Bessie wipes an eye. “But all of my fears are very normal for most people. Nothing embarrassing about fearing men or tight spaces!”
“Bessie, whenever you’re sleeping at the house alone, you have to have every light on because you think the house being lit up will ward off intruders.” Maria deadpans.
“You also once asked me to go upstairs with you when you heard something fall over.” Maggie puts it.
“I heard you run up the stairs as fast as you could when you turned the lights off downstairs after getting a drink.” Joan adds helpfully from her keyboard.
“Catalina said you refused to get up to pee at night when you slept over at their house one time because you ‘thought it’d wake everyone up.’” Maria concludes.
By this point Bessie is beet red and biting her lip so hard her teeth have probably went through the skin. She excuses herself from the room, but not without saying:
“Joan won’t go to the bathroom in public at all.”
The ladies in waiting and mini golf
Upon noticing that Joan seems very stressed out and rough around the edges, Maggie and Maria convince Bessie to go mini golfing all together
It takes some time to persuade Joan, but she eventually gives in and goes with them
The best family fluff ensues
Bessie gets a purple ball, Maria gets an orange ball, Maggie and Joan fight over the aquamarine ball but Maggie gets it, and Joan gets a light blue ball
Joan keeps track of points
“Since you won’t let me work at least let me have this” -Her
And so the game begins
It’s pretty normal at first
But then Maria swings back and whacks Bessie in the shin and that starts it all
Bessie is wearing sunglasses and she has her jacket tied around her waist and sometime she’ll sling her club over her should and 👌👌👌👌
Maria: Tres.
Maggie: That’s Spanish for four
Joan sometimes dozes off while waiting for the others and you just know she’s thinking about working lmao
But she does have a lot of fun
Maria hits her ball into a little river and she, Maggie, and Joan all run after it before it can roll into the pool and Bessie watches them while laughing and she just loves her silly girls so much
Bessie, as loud as possible when she misses the hole: BITCH ASS
Maria accidentally hits Bessie’s sunglasses off at one point
Maggie swings at this one hole and the ball goes right into the water
She swings again and, on the exact same path, it goes into the water
Bessie laughs so hard she snorts
Joan loses her ball and doesn’t want to go back inside to get a new one because the girl who’s working the counter is really cute and she doesn’t know how to talk to her because she KNOWS she’ll stutter
(She does)
Maria taps Bessie’s rear with her club when she’s swinging to encourage her to go and she gives Maria the most venomous look ever
(Maria apologizes profusely)
Bessie launches her club at one point it’s great
Soon they all pick up on Joan dozing more often and the other three smirk to one another
The game continues and Joan continues to drift off to the point where she’s falling asleep while she’s waiting to swing it for someone to finish
After the game ends she’s fast asleep in the car during the ride home
The plan to tire her out was successful
I just realized I’ve never done Maria angst before
Okay so imagine Maria falling very ill, which alights s very deep anxiety inside of her and immediately thinks she’s going to die all alone while the others are at work, but then realizes what Bessie was staying behind. She’s so feverish and hot and her stomach really hurts, but she manages to ask why Bessie is doing this, to which Bessie chuckles at and says, “It’s my turn to mother you, my darling.”