sometimes i'm like why are all my alters big cats and little cats and cats in general and then i remember i formed them when i was like 4-7 and autistic and obsessed with cats

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sometimes i'm like why are all my alters big cats and little cats and cats in general and then i remember i formed them when i was like 4-7 and autistic and obsessed with cats
sometimes i feel so close to remembering something and then it slips away
are you taking them? where are you? what's your problem?
too tired to get up and get the water bottle but too thirsty to sleep
there is a guy who is like a teenage boy maybe.
he calls all of us pussies for listening to the ocd voices but he's also an asshole i think?
the bunny's job is to
- flee
- hide
- run
- be quiet
- keep a secret
-be numb
he doesn't talk much.
i think he might be connected to or overlap with the guy who likes suits
'der innere schweinehund' in correlation with my adhd definitely did something to me. constant debiliating guilt for rest that means i never fully rest along with the disorder that fucks up circadian rhythms along with depression along with hating this city. the city feels like a world that lives to lose. or to win, the distinction is unclear. who knows who i'll be tomorrow. who knows what shape the city will pull me into.