for the-krakeneer
well, writing this was quite an adventure after taking a break from tumblr and then coming back to a secret-servant-fest! and after not writing anything in like forever hhh this fic is for @the-krakeneer and i wanted to combine quite a lot of things requested, and i hope i did a good job! not happy with the pacing but
(also contains fave christmas song so pls use as soundtrack for corresponding part!)
also SOSORRy for the delay oh my goodness i put that off for much longer than i should have and that was such a huge delay i think i might be the latest oops
Title: Soul of the Gift Author: nightwingdragoness Main Characters/Ships: Matou Kariya, Arturia/Diarmuid Word count: 4149
pls enjoy i hope!
Soul of the Gift
There are things about a cold Christmas atmosphere that cannot be duplicated. The blast of warm air as you walk into a building, the rush of cold air as you walk out. The murmur of the crowds rises like a living thing, separate from the voices that give it life. The colors blend, blur, bend. And if you’re a child, senses blurred by the pushing of the crowd and the light-haze, then oh, you’ve never felt anything like it.
It was someone’s goal to bring that soul back for a child that couldn’t be there to feel it herself.
-
Shoppers split like the sea around a dock, avoiding the man who nearly had his face pressed up against the glass of a toy store crafted in the style of FAO Schwarz (he’d photographed it once and knew what it looked like – not that any passersby would ever guess he’d traveled there). He was overshadowed by a large bear, sitting on a brightly colored toy drum. Overshadowed in a literal sense, as the bright backlight that was positioned to show the luxuriant curls of its fur cast its silhouette over Kariya. He stood there for a while, not caring to move as shoppers whispered and pulled their children away. They could walk around him; they could spare the effort.
It’s a cruel thing when your refuge taunts you, but it was unfortunately so for Kariya. The warmth of the shopping center he’d found tempted him in and displayed a massive assortment of luxury goods, right in his face. It didn’t help that he had wandered into one of the more high-end malls in Fuyuki, one that had its heating system cranked full blast so customers could comfortably shed their outer wraps and drop them into the arms of waiting attendants, so they could carry more purchases with more ease.
He’d passed advertisements for a specialty coat on the way in, something advertised as Zero Degree, designed to thoroughly insulate from shoulder to calf, available exclusively at one of the clothing stores in the mall. Kariya wondered how much it cost. He wondered how difficult the security tags would be to remove.
“Sir?”
Kariya was startled by the approach of a woman dressed in the toy store’s employee uniform. She wore a red vest and an uncomfortable smile.
“Sir, could you please move back a bit from the window? Other customers would like to see our displays.”
Kariya looked at her, not really bothering to comprehend or even listen, and looked back at the bear. Bear, coat. Coat, bear.
“Sir, you’re fogging up the glass.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Kariya noticed her flagging down a security guard. Well. There was something to pay attention to now.
He refused to look away from the bear, waiting for the rough hand on his shoulder to pull him away from the window, but the grip didn’t come. Instead, he felt a light brush and pressure across his back as someone stepped between the security guard and him, and he realized it was no physical touch – his dampened and broken abilities had failed to warn him that it was an incoming enemy Servant. Of all the places, of all the places. He tugged his sleeve over the back of his hand, trying to conceal his seals, though he had little hope of hiding his identity from a Servant. Or so he thought. Could Servants sense a magus, as vice versa? He hadn’t thought much about it.
The Servant was trying to convince the attendant and guard that Kariya was with her. That really wasn’t good, because which of them would they believe? He had few options, before the Servant caught him by the arm and quietly led him out back and stabbed him. He could start pounding on the glass, bringing the security guard down on him, which would probably lead to getting dragged off for disorderly conduct. If he could wait out the short penalty – no, the Servant could easily tail him. He could run – ha! No.
The security guard was growing irate. “Miss, as long as you get him away from that window – unless you’re a customer, in which case please, go about your business – it’ll be fine, but just either take him inside to buy something or take him somewhere else.”
“We’ll take our business elsewhere, then, but may I ask why he’s not allowed to look in the window?” The Servant brushed her ponytail back over her shoulder with a sharp motion and crossed her arms. “He’s as much right to stand there as anyone else.”
“Store employees have decided he’s being a nuisance, and that’s bad for business. If you – ”
“Is there a problem here?”
Kariya felt the pressure again. Two Servants. Perhaps after they dragged him off, they would start fighting and let him make his escape. His slow, slow escape.
The new Servant fixed the store attendant with a hard stare. “If this is your doing, then instruct him to stop harassing my companions. They’ve done nothing to you.”
The store attendant looked like she was going to burst from blushing and deflate from embarrassment at the same time. Kariya felt the same, except he thought frustration and fear were closer to the mark, respectively.
“Why, yes, sir, I-I don’t know what I was thinking, of course any potential patron of this store is welcome to observe our products as they care to, and – ”
The second Servant cut off her twittering apology firmly. “I’m afraid we’re going to take our friend and our business elsewhere.”
“Ah… yes, sir. I apologize for my actions once again, and…” The attendant’s voice faded as the other Servant led them away from the display, and she flapped her hands at the security guard to shoo him off, looking vastly disappointed.
“Well,” muttered the Servant who had spoken to the security guard, and that was all that needed to be said. Kariya tried to think clearly. Saber, yes, that was this one.
“She… probably thought I was going to try to break the window.” Kariya’s voice came out as a croak, and he didn’t dare try clearing his throat. He could already feel a writhing in his stomach.
The dark-haired man chuckled into his hand. “I don’t think you could have broken that window if someone had thrown you at it.” Lancer, he remembered now.
Did they not recognize him?
Saber nudged Lancer with an embarrassed smile. “Can we do anything to help you? That wasn’t fair how she treated you, she had no right,” she assured Kariya.
“I, well, thank you but there’s not much you can help me with. I was just thinking about that bear there, but I couldn’t afford it anyway.”
“Ah, that’s too bad. A Christmas gift for someone?”
“Well, I mean, our… family, if you could call it that… never celebrated Christmas, not really, we only went out for New Year’s this time of year and even then not always, and I’d like to get it for someone because it’d be nice and it won’t remind her of them – I can’t, it’s kind of difficult to explain – ”
Saber patted him on the shoulder gently, and he trailed off. “You don’t need to explain to us, if it’s difficult for you to talk about it. As I said, we’re willing to help in any way we can.” Lancer nodded.
“Ah, no, I couldn’t ask you to do anything, you already did that whole thing with the mall employees, so I’ll just… be going…” Kariya wiggled out from under Saber’s hand. “Thank you again…”
-
Arturia concernedly watched him try to limp off. “Really, if you have nowhere to be urgently, you should sit down and stay here, where it’s warm. You don’t look well at all.” It was almost painful to understate it that much.
He paused. “Well, I don’t, so I think I might, but you don’t need to hang around just for me – I’m sure that nobody will bother me if I’m just sitting on a bench.”
She couldn’t really blame him for trying to get rid of them, but it seemed heartless to just leave him, and judging by Diarmuid’s expression he felt the same way.
“Well, if you’re sure, then,” and instead of going toward the exit she took Diarmuid by the hand and pulled him around the corner, toward the side entrance of the toy store.
“Arturia, surely you can’t be planning to buy that bear here, after the way they treated him?” He looked hesitant at the injustice.
“I’m not planning to buy it here – I’ve no money with me anyway. I’m just checking the price.”
“Ah.” They stepped through the swivel doors and were immediately hit with a blast of Christmas music through tinny speakers.
“You distract the employee, and I’ll check the price and brand. We’ll find out where we can buy it elsewhere.”
As Diarmuid tried to stare down the employee, who stared eagerly back, Arturia flipped over the tag tacked to the bear’s tail.
-
9,600 yen. It seemed reasonable for such a gigantic, luxury toy, but wholly unreasonable when the only money they had between them was a 5-yen coin that Saber had picked up on the street and a 1,000-yen bill that Diarmuid had for emergencies. They’d gone over their options several times after leaving the mall, but always ended up with the fact that they had 1,005 yen and no matter at which store they found the bear, that wouldn’t be enough.
“I can already tell Kiritsugu wouldn’t give me the money, not for something like this,” Arturia said mournfully.
Diarmuid didn’t even want to think about asking for extra cash to buy a toy bear.
“Well, if we can’t get the money directly, the fair way to get it would be to earn it ourselves,” he reasoned.
So, after fifteen minutes of crunching through snow, they stopped next to a sign on a house that read ‘Movers wanted. 1 hour job. Cash payment.’
Diarmuid rang the bell, and an elderly man answered.
“Hello, sir, we saw your job advertisement outside your home, and we currently find ourselves in need of a little money. We’d be glad to take on your moving task,” rattled off Diarmuid quickly, looking to make a good impression.
“Well! Yes, I’d be very grateful, as I’m moving to warmer climates in a week for my retirement, and these are the last boxes I need moved. Come in, come in,” he opened the door wider for them.
Once they were inside, Arturia shook his hand. “Thank you for the work, sir.”
“Oh, I should be thanking you. You sure you’ll be all right?”
“Yes, I will be.”
The old man looked apologetically at them. “Well, there’s only one hitch in the process. You see, I just put that sign up a little while ago, and I didn’t expect anyone to answer so soon. I haven’t been to the bank yet to get the money, so I only have enough to pay one of you. I understand if you want to come back later to do the job, when I can pay you both.”
“If it’s not a big job, then only one of us should get paid,” offered Diarmuid.
“No, I wouldn’t feel right. You both showed up and are willing to work, and besides, that’s a lot of boxes I have. It’ll take the both of you to get the job done, and if you want to wait, then that’s fine.”
Arturia shook her head. “No, we trust you. We’ll do the job now, and come back for the payment later.”
“Well, if you’re sure! The boxes are through this hall here, and mind you I’m very grateful, because the truck needs to be loaded today and I’m not sure how I would have managed myself.”
“We’re very glad to help, sir,” Diarmuid reassured him, and the old man smiled.
-
“But that was an hour ago. He’ll have left by now, and we earned – ” Arturia paused. “2,000 yen each. That was very generous of him for such a short job, but we’re still nowhere near what we need to buy the bear, we only have half the pay, and we still haven’t found another place to purchase it.”
Diarmuid considered it. “Perhaps he hasn’t left. And if he has, we can track him down easily enough. We still have plenty of time today to earn more, and to search.”
“That job was a lucky find. We probably won’t be so fortunate again.”
Diarmuid winced.
“Don’t give up yet, Diarmuid. We can make our own job.”
-
And that was how they came to be standing on a street corner, with a bowl they’d found in the alley propped in front of them, belting out holiday songs in the freezing air.
Arturia had her head tilted back, eyes closed, cheeks rosy in the cold, hair swaying in the sharp breeze, and Diarmuid thought she was a sight to behold.
She was singing a song in English, one not many of the shoppers would understand, but from the passion in Arturia’s voice, they stopped, eyes wide, and listened.
“Christmas pipes, Christmas pipes, Calling us home on Christmas night, Call us from far, call us from near, Oh, play me your Christmas pipes.”
Diarmuid, smiling, sang out harmony for the second verse.
“Christmas bells, Christmas bells Over the hills and over the dells Ringing out bright, ringing out clear Oh, ring me your Christmas bells.”
A crowd was gathering, tossing coins into their bowl, and the slight ringing mimicked the bells in the words. Diarmuid took a chance and grasped Arturia’s hand, and she didn’t pull it away.
“Christmas strings, Christmas strings Playing the peace that Christmas brings Fiddle and bow, gentle and low Oh, play me your Christmas strings.”
Children stared at these two strange, well-dressed foreigners, hand-in-hand and singing on the street corner for money. Their voices were close for the next verse, overlapping and harmonizing, and they sounded just how the beautiful lights looked.
“Christmas choir, Christmas choir Christmas carols ‘round Christmas fire Holy night, angels on high Round up your Christmas choir.”
There was a ring around them now, and Diarmuid let Arturia’s voice ring out clearly above his.
“Christmas band, Christmas band You’re waiting for me with your Christmas band Cymbal and drum, rattle and hum March out your Christmas band.”
As Arturia finished the song on a clear middle C, a round of applause broke out and hands tossed 100-yen bills and assorted coins into the bowl. Quite a pile was growing, and Arturia looked surprised. Diarmuid wasn’t, not a bit.
Then there was a snide, high snicker from the back of the crowd, and someone began to shoulder through. The people scattered.
“We have trouble,” murmured Diarmuid.
-
Yes, it was the priest and his king.
“I’d ask what you think you think you’re doing on this street corner, but I fear I may mar my mind by trying to comprehend such lowly actions!”
“We’re earning money to buy something for someone far less fortunate than ourselves. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Archer.” Arturia turned her shoulder towards Gilgamesh, staring resolutely away.
“How pathetic!”
Kirei was fiddling with something in his hand, and Arturia focused her attention back on him, then Gilgamesh.
“You’re reduced to performing for the commoners for spare change. Really, Saber, I tried to expect better of you, but it seems I shouldn’t have.”
“If your expectations are so low, then this should come as no surprise!” Arturia’s foot came up, Gilgamesh’s eyes widened, and a dripping, oily glob of slush hit him in the face.
The King of Heroes turned into a screeching, undignified mess, alternately clawing at his face to scrape the wet slush off and lashing his arms out at Arturia. Kirei, stifling a smile, flicked his arm out to toss something in the bowl, then steered the blinded Gilgamesh away, avoiding a scene, and the two warriors-turned-performers watched them go coldly.
Once he was out of sight, Arturia looked down into the bowl. “What did he drop in here?” She bent to pick it up, and they huddled together to unfold the message that was wrapped carefully around the money.
This is a 5,000-yen bill, as you can plainly see. This gives you enough money to purchase the bear, if you would like. However, this also gives you just enough to purchase a coat that will keep your adopted charge warm and alive in the snow. You can either buy the coat and greatly disappoint him, or buy the bear and risk his death – the choice is yours.
“Well, that’s considerate of him,” Diarmuid said dryly.
“He was watching us,” Arturia replied uncomfortably. “He must have been. We never mentioned what kind of toy we were trying to buy.”
“Or else he was watching him instead, earlier,” Diarmuid pointed out. “We have enough now, and I don’t think we’ll be earning any more soon – ” he eyed the uneasy passersby, some of whom were pointing, “so we should probably go buy the bear.”
Arturia emptied the contents of the bowl into her coat pocket, keeping the message clutched in her fist. “He was right, though, are we going to buy the toy for him to give to the child, or are we going to keep him alive?”
“The priest didn’t know about the extra 2,000 yen we have waiting for us,” pointed out Diarmuid half-heartedly. “If we get a smaller toy, and a less warm coat, we could purchase both.”
“We could.” Arturia bit her lip. Somehow, it didn’t seem quite right.
They took the walk back to the old man’s house slowly, longer than the fifteen minutes than it took to get there a couple hours ago. Having options is more troubling than not having them, sometimes.
The snow that had seemed so fresh before seemed stifling and limiting, after the uncomfortable and attention-drawing encounter with Gilgamesh and the subtly vicious note from Kirei. The silence wasn’t comfortable either, both of them silently considering what they could do, and regretting that they hadn’t thought of taking care of him instead of buying a luxury toy.
They reached the door, and Diarmuid rang the bell again, Arturia hoping that they’d given him enough time to get the money and that they weren’t intruding.
“Oh, welcome back!” Apparently they hadn’t, and he was looking rather worried and a bit embarrassed.
“Have we come at a bad time?” Arturia asked hesitantly.
“I…well, I’m very sorry about this, but since I’m moving there’s been a problem with my bank, and they won’t allow me to withdraw anything more until Monday – I’m sure I can give you something else in payment, if you’ll take it – ”
Diarmuid winced. “Sir, we don’t want to be any trouble to you, and giving us the 2,000 was very generous already. Helping you was a reward in its own, as well, so – ”
The elderly man cut him off in turn. “Now, none of that, it’s Christmas after all and I’ve got something right here.” He scooted a box out from behind the door with his foot. “It’s not exactly cash, I’ll grant you, but if you pawn it you should get at least 2,000 for it.” He rummaged in the box a bit. “Now, since I’m moving, I’ve no use for the thing anymore, and it’s a bit old, but like I said – ”
He drew out a long, quilted coat, and Arturia felt her breath catch in her throat.
“Oh, it’s perfect!” she almost squeaked, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Diarmuid grin.
-
They were back in the toy store now – they’d made it just an hour before closing – but no matter how many times they read the tag on the bear in the display, it said ‘On Layaway For Customer. Sorry!’
Arturia almost groaned out loud. “Who could have come in and bought it that quickly? Half a day we were gone, at most!”
She and Diarmuid searched the store, and found brown bears, polar bears, and black bears. They found expensive bears, cheap bears, bears with odd faces and many things with bears just printed on them. Yet they didn’t find another bear like the one they’d seen earlier, not a gigantic one with curled fur and a price tag of 9,600 yen.
At this point, Arturia was almost determined to spend 9,600 yen on a bear, even if it was a real one to set loose in the store. In the middle of her bearish fantasies, Arturia spotted the same employee that had tried to chase them off earlier, and her eyes narrowed.
“You! Who bought the bear in the display window? Is there another one in storage somewhere? We need to buy it!”
“There’s not another one in storage, miss, but no one’s bought the one on display yet!” She looked as if she wished Diarmuid would come over again, but this time to get between her and Arturia.
“Nobody – Why is it on layaway, then?”
“For you!”
That gave Arturia some pause, and Diarmuid rushed over after setting down his armfuls of bear.
“I, well, I noticed you looking at the price tag on the bear, and I thought it was the least I could do after… well, after, and I was going to take it off layaway if you weren’t back by closing since this one’s on my quota and I’m kind of really desperate to sell the thing, and I thought you might want it – ”
Arturia breathed a deep sigh of relief, and the employee relaxed as well. “Well… thank you, then.”
They went through the process of counting out the large bills and then Arturia’s pocketful of small change, while the employee went back to eyeing Diarmuid around the corner, where he was standing and trying to look subtle. The bear was bagged and handed over.
-
Kariya had been sick in the alley earlier, and he was now sitting outside the mall under one of the heat vents in case it happened again. The cold made the worms more sluggish, but it had the same effect on his magic and mind, so it was a while before he noticed the two approaching pressures that indicated the Servants were coming back. He tensed, before noticing that Saber carried two shopping bags.
Kariya tried to scramble to his feet quickly, but that didn’t work out. Resting his back against the wall again, he succeeded in at least remaining upright. As Lancer reached him, he let Kariya lean on him for support.
As Saber caught up, she held out the shopping bags. “We have something for you,” Saber said, looking gently happy. She opened the first and there, startling him, was the bear that had been in the toy store window.
“I,” he looked at her, “I can’t accept this.” How much had it cost? Sakura deserved it, yes, but…
“Yes, you can,” she said. After seeing him not looking any less hesitant, her tone was slightly strained as she urged him, “Really, please do. Please.”
He thought it best not to argue after that, but he wondered what was in the other bag.
Diarmuid took it, unfolded it, and draped it over Kariya’s shoulders.
Kariya ran his fingers over the fabric before realizing how heavy it was, and how the warmth from wherever it had come from still radiated from the cloth.
“Something for you as well,” said Lancer.
Kariya looked first at Saber’s eyes, then Lancer’s. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me.” He carefully threaded his bad arm through the sleeve of the coat, then pulled the other through and buttoned it down.
Saber smiled at him. “Things have a way of working out, I suppose.”
Kariya looked at her and managed something like a smile of his own. “It looks like you’re right, at least for this time. I hope that’s still the case in the future.”
“Let us at least walk you… somewhere?” asked Lancer hesitantly.
“Thank you, but…” That wouldn’t do. “Thank you, but I’m fine now, I’ll be warm, and I have a gift for her now, and I couldn’t ask anything else of you.” He looked down, hoping they wouldn’t notice the slight watering in his working eye.
Saber and Lancer seemed to understand, nodding and patting him gently on his good shoulder. “Please, travel safely,” advised Lancer.
Kariya clutched the bag with the bear tightly, and nodded.
-
Arturia looked back over her shoulder thoughtfully. “I can understand why he didn’t want us to accompany him, but I hope Mr. Matou does make it back to somewhere warm safely.”
Diarmuid took her hand. “He will be fine now.”
-
End