your neuro-pathways just degraded listening to that. the documentary guy drones on and on in a voice to rival every self-obsessed male teacher with nothing truly meaningful to say you've ever had, describing all the intimate secrets of the overgrown fish swimming across needy's television right now. watch your only best friend from where you lay on your side across her bed like a string of diamonds, twice as expensive and five times easier to attain. even demonstrate something like patience as you listen to her speak over the documentary she thought would make such a great study backdrop. patience like a wolf in disguise. patience which keeps your gaze on her mouth as you wonder, wonder, wonder.❛ does science ever make you wet? ❜ smile something weaponized and defensive when she flashes a shocked expression your way. ❛ what? sorry, bill needy the science guy, i was just wondering if you actually get something out of knowing so much about the ocean's ugliest mermaids other than high fives from the nerd table and virginity. ❜ tap your pen against the notebook you've done little but doodle in, an overly detailed eye watching you from the page. ❛ come on. does it ever make you horny? does talking about sperm whales make you want to take a load yourself? ❜
what the hell, jen. your face drops, but you pick it up just as quick. every conversation with jennifer always feels like a knife fight where your hands are bound. she's quick to poke you again. jennifer loves sex, and you love jennifer ( like a friend ! ) but you know yourself, too. you'll have sex when you feel ready, and it won't be to the thought of whales.
you think of your sixth grade school tour, where they took you to a museum and you stood in the rib-bones of a whale. you reached up to touch the porous bone, but at the last minute turned it into a wave for jennifer. you look at her clavicle and then your eyes flick back to her face.
you laugh, a little hurriedly. ❛ jennifer. ❜ you say, equal parts stern and disbelieving. but adoring. always, always giddy with adoration. you worry the second you stand up to her that she'll be gone. so you appease her as best you can. but you don't lie, either. right? ❛ you can love something for more reasons than sex. ❜ sandbox love never dies. you look down at jennifer's face and you're taken aback by her beauty. you always are.
so, you react the way all best friends would: you push her shoulder so she's on her back, and you unfurl your crossed legs, and kneel tall beside that panther you call a best friend. ❛ and i'm not gonna be a virgin for much longer. ❜ you expect jennifer will be interested in that statement - it's the only reason you've said it. otherwise you'd tell no one - you don't need anyone else's approval - and just squeeze chip's hand tightly, comforting him through his nervous deference. but she's different.