track 03: how was your mind? ft. @veritastrap released: january 16, 2021
of course on the week of yerim’s birthday, their mothers had to arrange a dinner between the two families. something about celebrating in a more ‘intimate’ setting and catching up, even though sungmin and his mother had visited the choi household on yerim’s actual birthday. he’s used to impromptu gatherings like this, as it’s something he’s been subjected to throughout his life. he doesn’t even mind them since he gets to hang out with his lifelong friend, but things have been… odd, to put it lightly.
he would say it started a few days ago, but this has been in the works since yerim was born, he’s sure of it. he wasn’t even out of diapers before the concept of marriage came into the picture, ever present in the back of his mind like a looming cloud. “oh, that’s right; he’s graduating soon, isn’t he? how exciting!” “i know! don’t you think they’re growing so fast? i don’t want to push them, but i hope they’ll make things official soon!” he knows he’s the subject of conversation each and every time, but being forced to bite his tongue so often has left him sore.
whenever asked about getting married, sungmin simply brushed it off, saying that he’s ‘not thinking about that right now’ because he’s ‘focusing on his studies.’ it’s not his fault that silence can be misconstrued, especially in the world of the wealthy. he can see it in the way his mother glances at him while on the phone, whispering as if he can’t hear her. he can see it in the way his father nudges him when they pass a jeweler, murmuring something about ‘getting ready.’ ready for what? he’s well aware of the answer, and for his own sake he refrains from asking.
the clink of silver on porcelain pulls sungmin out of his brooding just enough to catch bits and pieces of the current conversation. the adults are talking about their days at yeonhwa again, and he quickly decides he’s not interested in trying to piece the full context together. instead, his attention moves to yerim. she’s as poised as usual, quiet, with her hair neatly tucked back in that prim, perfect way she always keeps it.
sungmin lets out a small exhale he didn’t even know he was holding. the warmth blooming in his chest upon seeing her is undoubtedly affection, but not in the way their mothers want… and he’s not sure if it’ll ever be. what he is sure of is that he needs to get himself and yerim away from the weight of expectations, if only for a moment.
“excuse me,” he speaks up, setting his utensils down beside his empty plate. “if everyone is finished, i’ll take care of the dishes.” he’s technically hosting after all, and while the housekeepers take care of things like this, he’s eager for an easy out. putting on the façade of the ever dutiful son, he cleans off the table, making sure to gently nudge yerim’s arm before disappearing into the kitchen.
with the dishes squared away, sungmin pulls out his phone, typing out a quick series of messages with the hope that yerim will see them soon.
{ OUTGOING ✉ yerim ⛅ } ➽ hey ➽ meet me in the den? ➽ they’ll be talking for a while, i think.