Coming Clean - Juliana & Vincent Carvalho
After her shift was over Juliana knew that the only place she should be headed to was home. Phoenix had told her dad that her mom was back in town and that they were together and while he didn't say that her dad reacted negatively, Juliana knew her dad fairly well to know he wasn't singing and dancing from joy. She made a few pitstops around town, even stood outside their front door for what felt like an eternity in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. It was no use and she finally opened the door and stepped inside, feeling as though the place was more uncomfortably silent than it should have been.
Removing her shoes she took one step, a second and then a third towards the stairs. She wondered if it was possible to make it to her room without her dad noticing. Maybe he was in the backyard, the basement, maybe even the bathroom and she could just go to her room and pray that he forgets about this. Just as she placed her foot on the first step which creaked under the weight of her foot she heard her dad's voice calling her from the living room. "Sweetheart. Can you come here, please?"
Juliana moved slowly towards his voice, the look of guilt already on her face when she finally saw him sitting in his favourite chair and it was clear they were both prepared to have this conversation. She kept silent, wanting to say something but not really sure where to start. Part of her was hoping that he would just start with the yelling, forbidding her from seeing her mom. Would it have felt better than the silence, with his eyes filled with disappointment on her? "Why didn't you tell me your mother was back?" Vincent finally asked, he didn't raise his voice but Juliana could hear the sternness that mixed in with his concern.
"I was going to..." Juliana started, breaking eye contact with her dad to look down at her hand that had been scratching at the couch material like a nervous cat. "I was just waiting for the right time to do it."
"When did you think the right time was going to be? When she had already disappeared again?" Vincent knew his wife well enough to know her days of walking out on them weren't over. She was going to get Juliana's hopes up just like she always did back when she was younger and then crush her heart when she finally left again.
Juliana's head shot up at the accusation, "she isn't going to disappear again! She's here to stay! She promised!" Her tone sounded aggravated, annoyed that, once again, she was the only one giving her mom the benefit of the doubt. "This is why I waited to tell you, I was going to find a better way to talk about it instead of having Phoenix be the one to tell you!"
Vincent shook his head, running his hand through his hair from the frustration. As much as Juliana believed this was the end of Alonda's games he just didn't trust her. He wasn't even angry at his daughter, he was just upset that she didn't tell him immediately, assuming Alonda had conditioned her to keep quiet. "This is just like her," he muttered to himself but the house was quiet enough that Juliana could hear. "Going behind my back like this, not even calling or anything." If things had gone Alonda's way he bet she wouldn't want him to ever know she had come back. It made sense, the way she left was rocky, he did tell her not to come back and he really thought she had listened.
"Would you have even let her see me if she did call?" Juliana crossed her arms over her chest, looking at her dad with annoyance and a hint of suspicion. She had sensed the tension between them but now it was pretty obvious that he wouldn't have allowed it to get this far. "I mean she had been trying for ever to send me letters while she was away but you wouldn't even let her do that."
"Is that what she told you?"
"She didn't have to, but it was implied."
Vincent let out a deep sigh. His wife was turning his own daughter against him in a matter of moments and he hated how easily she could make him look like the bad guy when she was the one who left. He took a few steps closer to Juliana and put his hands on her shoulders, bending down a little to look her in the eyes. "Sweetie, you know the things I do, I do them to protect you. Stopping her from calling or sending you letters, it was all done with your best interest in mind. You have such a big heart, you see so much good in people. But your mother..." he wasn't exactly sure how to finish that sentence. He wasn't going to tell his daughter that her mom was a bad person but at the same time, how else could he describe the woman who cared more about herself than her family and walked out on them only to show up out of the blue ten years later? "I don't want you getting hurt." Was the only way he could manage to finish his statement.
That seemed to be everyone's concern. They thought her mom was going to hurt her and while it made sense where they were coming from, it was getting on her nerves that neither Phoenix nor her dad seemed to see what she saw. Her mother had come back to be with her because she missed her and finally felt safe enough to return. Why would she wait so long to come back, only to leave again? It didn't make sense to Juliana. “I’m not going to get hurt! I know she doesn't want to hurt me she wants to be back in my life why can neither of you see that? Just cause she wanted it to be a surprise?” Surprises didn't always mean ill intent and yet that seemed to be a major concern. “I know you're just trying to help but your attempts to protect me from people haven't been the best. You’ve been trying to protect me from Phoenix for years when I’ve never needed protection from him!”
“Phoenix is different...I know that he cares about you–”
“And mom doesn't?”
“Your mother–”
“Dad, please.” Juliana was tired of the back and forth. She was tired of this constant need to treat her like a child who couldn't protect herself, who would blindly jump into things without considering the consequences. She wasn't a complete idiot, sure it was thanks to her big heart that she accepted her mother's return with ease but Juliana knew she was trying to integrate back into settling down. “Can we please...give her a chance? You haven't even gotten the chance to see her or talk to her. I promise if you just...hear her out…”
Her eyes were pleading for his cooperation. She would give anything for her dad to simply sit down and interact with her mom then maybe he would understand. Vincent shook his head, looking down at the floor, knowing he just couldn't give her that. “Honey, I’m sorry. Your mother...she left us and that was her choice. She put herself before this family and hurt both of us in the process for ten years. I don’t want to see her.” He took a deep breath and sighed, looking back up and locking his eyes with Juliana’s. “I’m...not going to stop you from seeing her if that's what you want because you're an adult and I can't tell you not to, but…just remember who has always been here for you.”
His hands gently slid off from her shoulders and he stood back up straight. He managed to restrain himself from getting too worked up but looking at Juliana, it wasn't a difficult task. That was his daughter, his baby girl and as upset as he was that she kept this from him he knew that all of the blame didn't fall on her. This was Alonda's doing and she sucked Juliana into it.
She wasn't sure what feeling would have been worse, the anger that could have followed a heated argument or this melancholy that came from knowing how disappointed and unhappy her dad was. Juliana didn't plan on giving up on her mom, she wanted to keep in touch, talk to her, visit her in hopes that she could show both her father and Phoenix that they never had anything to worry about. Nodding her head, Juliana gave her dad a tight hug to show him that she understood what he was saying, feeling as he kissed the top of her head. “I love you, dad.” She said as she pulled away and gave him a meaningful smile.
“I love you too, Jules.” Vincent cleared his throat awkwardly before asking, “So, are you planning to go back to visit your mother tonight?”
Shaking her head resulted in a small sigh of relief from him. “I was actually going back to Phoenix's place tonight. I felt bad for ignoring him all day yesterday so I’m staying with him tonight and I’ll probably find another day to hang out with mom.” It might have been because he didn't like the idea of her spending time with her mom but it seemed like the first time her dad ever looked happy about the idea of her spending time with Phoenix and she was gonna count this as a victory.