📞 : Lou💘
This always seemed to occur on nights when Harry was unable to have his entire body entagled with his beloved’s limbs. The two would sleep so close together, their grip so firm on one another until they were both in a deep state of sleep that the younger’s mind never usually wandered this way. He knew that Louis was beside him and safe, and that nothing bad could happen to him then. However, tonight the pair was kept apart, and although Louis was in the same residence as he was, it still was far enough away for Harry’s subconcious to assume the absolute worst. Another night terror. Another moment of Harry waking in absolute dread feeling sick to his stomach with worry and guilt. It just always seemed so real - felt so real. And this night was unlike no other, the male shot up from his bed drenched in his own sweat, his knuckles white from gripping at his bed sheets so vigorously. He’s dead. He’s gone and you can’t do anything to bring him back. Those were the thoughts that lingered in his mind when he awoke. It was his greatest fear - to lose Louis to this addiction and so it seemed that his subconscious loved to terrorize him with it. It was always the same outcome - the location the only thing that seemed to alter in his mind. This time it had been his own bedroom - his bed back home, the one that the two had spent countless hours lounging in. He’d simply gone to take a quick shower and by the time he’d popped back into his bedroom, the older of the two was blue in the face and eyes glazed over. That was when the screaming ensued, and Harry was unable to realize that even after waking he was still screaming. Screaming and trembling, but he couldn’t move. It was if gravity had forced him down and he was unable to swing his legs over the side of the bed - there was a firm sense of pressure on his chest and it was almost as if he had to fight in order to regain control over himself. It took him a moment to stop screaming, but that was only because he felt as if he was beginning to choke on the sobs that were beginning now. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, his cheeks gaining a crimson shade as his breathing grew more erratic. The prickly feeling he felt in his stomach seemed to rise to his throat – but that was just the bile, that he had to force himself to swallow back down. He rose off the bed, but only for a fleeting moment before his knees were buckling and he was scrambling beside himself for his phone on the dresser. Tearing his phone from it’s charger, his phone fumbled to the ground beneath him and he practically lunged forward in order to recover it. With his shaky fingers pressing against the touchscreen phone, he must have had to redial Louis’ number a handful of times before he finally got it properly - ringing and all.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. That’s how many times it rang before he got Louis’ voicemail and that only seemed to further the dread he felt in his body. The sobs continued. He’d only wanted to call to hear Louis’ voice and now that he couldn’t even have that solace it felt as if his body was shutting down in a crippling state of fear. His mind was in a state of flurry as he felt goosebumps prickle across his skin. “Lou…Lou…Louis,” Harry stammered into the phone, his voice was choppy, but it still retained the usual hoarseness he had after waking. “It was a dream.. I-I know it was a dream, but it just felt so re-real, and it won’t stop. It won’t stop playing over and over and over again in my mind. I can’t get it out of my mind, and it’s just your face – God, your face and your skin is so blue and you’re so far gone, Louis. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.” Pause. A big one, but just from talking. He wasn’t even thinking of what it would be like to listen to the message he was leaving. To hear just choked sobs coming into the phone and the younger gasping for air. His free hand worked it’s way to press against his chest, hoping that he would be able to calm himself, but he had no luck. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. That’s how many times he flattened his palm against his chest. “It wasn’t a dream – It was a bloody nightmare.” That - that was different. A soft whimper, almost child-like. “I just – I just really need to hear your voice, love. I need to know that you’re ok, wherever you are right now. I’m sorry – I’m so sorry for calling.” And that was that. He pressed red button before he could say anything else. He wished he hadn’t left a message in the first place. He’d just needed to hear Louis tell him that he was fine, and he wasn’t getting anywhere with that. That’s what took him to his voicemails. Dozens of voicemails all from Louis, just telling him that he loved him, that he missed him, that the two of them were going to be ok. He needed to trick himself. Trick himself into thinking that he was actually talking to Louis, and that he was safe. And that’s how he fell back asleep - his body tired from all of the sobbing. Laying on the floor of his room, he fell back asleep to the sound of Louis’ voice fill his ear cooing to him.