What's the hero's journey?
It’s when the hero tries to find the.... fuck, what is he trying to find? The thing. The flatbread. The flatbread sandwiches. That’s it. It’s when my assistant gets me a flatbread sandwich. That moment after he hands me the sandwich and before he demands I give him money for it, like the $6 a week I pay him isn’t enough for him to buy me a sandwich. That moment. That’s the hero right there.
....I’m kidding. You knew that. I knew that. Kidster. April Fool’s! He makes $7 a week. Big-time checks. Awyeah.
Look, the hero’s journey is their Arc. The Arc of the Cumberlands or something. Harrison Jones. That kinda thing. Come in one end, no girlfriend, BANG! Out the other, with the girlfriend. But not Short Round. That kid is weird.
And then there’s Last Crusade. If your dad is Sean Connery, BOOM! Automatic hero status. Fuck yeah. And if you ARE Sean Connery, fuck you give me your fortune and sign my left armpit. I’ll sell it, make millions. On an armpit. Fuck yes. That’s success, ladies and gent. (Just one gent.)
Besides, everyone knows heros bring paninis.
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