What happened in your past that deprived you of human contact? Don't answer if you are uncomfortable. Just wondering.
Hey anon!
I've answered this better in a reeeeeeeeeeeeally long readmore back in... August? July? Somewhere around summertime when I was really getting into Phantom of the Opera.
But when I was younger, like REALLY younger, my family was incredibly huggy. But after my papa (grandpa, dad's side) passed on, my dad stopped hugging me. A whole bunch of other bullshit happened, and by age 8 my mom wasn't a hugger anymore either.
Through most of my teenage years I only had one friend who actually ever hugged and I didn't like it much because I wasn't used to it.
Hugging started to get associated with death and funerals for me and a lot of the people who would hug me at funerals just... were very, very fake. So I kinda came to associate hugging/physical contact with someone being a lying fake bitch? So I stopped hugging people and I actively fought to not share 'space' with anyone anymore...
I probably explained it better in that readmore. If I can dig it up I'll reblog it, but the short version is my family went from touchy/huggy to completely devoid of physical contact between any of us except for at funerals and such, and then it felt really insincere so I learned to distrust human contact/touch.