In the spirit of my birthday and the dreaded milestone of 40 today I’m curling up under the covers and not coming out until tomorrow. I have been hating the thought of this birthday for the last 6 months and now that it’s here I see why. Fuck turning 40 and thinking well what have I accomplished in 40 years and the answer being sweet FA. My mum did point out the fact that I’m still standing and smiling (at least to the outside world but not even she sees my darkest moments) after all the health issues and operations is something to celebrate and that I’m stronger than I know. I suggested it’s mere stubbornness rather than strength. But if one more well intentioned friend tells me I’m over the hill now I swear I’ll be rolling their decapitated head down the hill. I’ve accepted all the haply 40th messages with good grace but over the hill? No. (Plus that would mean I’ve walked up it and unless there’s a bar or the great Dusty Martin at the top of the hill that’s highly unlikely.)