My Boobs are Inappropriate
I used to have this job. It was a non-profit but as it grew it had the feel more and more of non-human corporation. I know, I know, that is a contradiction, as corporations are clearly people. But as I moved up the non-corporate ladder, it became less about educating children and more about impressing fancy-pants donors.
Let me tell you something. I am fat. Not a little overweight, fat. And I have giant breasts. And did that stop me from saving the company over $100,000 on school supplies? Nope.
But, oh boy, did it bother my boss. How dare I be fat? How dare I have breasts above a C cup? (And really, isn't that pushing it?) So this ex-ballerina, body-shaming woman would schedule time in my 60 hour week to discuss my inappropriate outfits. My cleavage. My shoes (my disability makes me unable to wear heels.) How dare I not buy $200 shoes on 1/3 her salary?!
So I tried. I studied her. I studied not only what she wore but also which outfits she complimented on my skinny workmates. And I went out and bought a black pencil skirt and the button-up shirt she had worn herself, but in a much larger size, obvs. I even spent money getting that shit from Banana Republic. And when I came in, I’m not sure what I expected. Maybe encouragement for finally getting it right? Maybe just for her to shut her mouth about my body? Nope.
When she fired me a few weeks later, she specifically mentioned my inappropriate attire. (And honestly, not much else.) I had worked for the company for over two years, but 6 months working under her and my boobs got me fired. Unfortunately, it was too late to return the pencil skirt.
Here is a pic of my inappropriate boobs because I work for myself now and she doesn't care if I come to work nekkid. Enjoy.