#fucking chemo

[seeingstarsseeingtheuniverse]

How do I only have 6 days left until 3/7? 🥲

Something I’ve enjoyed about relapse protocol is that the treatment planned is shorter if everything goes well.

I hope that next scans show that the nodule was indeed just scar tissue. Or if it is disease, that this protocol kills it.

My counts have held up properly so far, nothing like last chemo at least, so im sure that we’ll go into this chemo as scheduled (not that im excited, just hope we finish this soon)

On other news: @f1nnyf1sh FINISHED CHEMO 🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

I started talking to Finny days after finding out about my relapse and now he’s done with his treatment!!!!

Sarcoma picked the wrong bad bitches that are somewhat obsessed with gay dudes from the 80’s

[youllalwaysfindyourwaybackhome]

My dad bless him blew up some balloons and then needed half an hour to get over it

[cripples-r-us]

Most of the icky mtx side effects have abaited but holy hell am I dizzy. I just went down the stairs in my house and had to stop before I blacked out.

I wish I knew how to make it better, I guess I could try a zofran before work if it doesn’t get better

[tawaretsampleleftelbow]

Alright this is entirely more adulting than I feel capable of right now.

no reblobs please. My kids winter formal is tonight and dammit I want her to have a good time. Tomorrow we’ll head up to see her but for now please just replies only.

[cripples-r-us]

Even though

I took my mtx on saturday i was still feeling pretty nasty and chemo sick today. I had some oatmeal thinking something soft and calming will help me stomach my meds, but it didnt sit well. On my first route i had to pull over and puke in the street. It was gross but I had no choice.

[newfaithinloss]

build your own narrative via my camera roll

[cripples-r-us]

Fucking Hell MTX

I’ve been good and taking my chemo regularly and I just brushed my hair and under the line at the front is all this empty scalp space...

I feel like I have to trade less hair on my head for less psoriasis...

Or, of course, more hair and more psoriasis lesions.

Maybe this is weird, but me? Personally? I’d like to not have bald spots AND not have rotting skin spots..

[creamypug]

yeaaah literally don't know how i'm going to get my ass to chemo tomorrow. i foresee a crying tantrum of stubborn refusal reminiscent of 7 year old me 

really, i'm kind of pissed because in a feeble attempt to combat my violent nausea at treatment i've been taking my anti-nausea meds the morning of chemo. it doesn't help at all, and i called the doctor and told him something has to change for the next chemo because i can't willingly make myself go somewhere that will get me so sick, and his grandiose idea was "take the medicine the night before too"

really???? if it doesn't do anything at all for me during chemo anymore why would taking one dose the night before help?? it makes me upset because if this is his best solution i feel like he doesn't take it very seriously

i feel like i can't do it and i don't want to do it anymore and i know 99% of the world would give me the same advice of "you just have to do it i know it's hard but you have to be strong and finish" but i don't know how to make myself go to that treatment center and instantly vomit at the smell of the lobby and then for 4 days afterward and maybe i need to go to an actual hospital or find a different doctor