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Du weißt es nicht, und ich würde es nie laut aussprechen. Aber wenn ich könnte würde ich dich einfach küssen wollen. Ohne wichtigen Grund (zumindest rede ich es mir ein).
Du bist einer der besten Freunde meines Freunds und trotzdem geht mir diese Vorstellung mit dir nicht aus dem Kopf.
Ich hasse mich. Heute mehr als sonst.
Muse - Psycho #muse #drones #musedrones #psycho #fuckingpsycho #myassbelongstomusenow (at O2 Arena)
#fuckingpsycho 🌑
It hurt when you broke up with me,
But break ups go that way I suppose,
It hurt when you moved on from me,
But that was bound to happen I guess,
It hurt when I found out how you gave yourself to him,
But what should I have expected anyhow?
All of that hurt,
But that was the nature of what happened.
Yet what hurt the most,
Was not your reaction to the roses that I sent you for opening night,
What hurt the most,
Was not knowing how you wanted to break up with me weeks before you actually did,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you treated our break up like a business transaction,
What hurt the most,
Was not how happy you tried to sound when you lied about loving me on my birthday,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you put an ultimatum on us staying together,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you made out with another man,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you began to fall for someone else,
What hurt the most,
Was not seeing how drastically you had changed,
What hurt the most,
Was not when you told me I tried to “buy you” or made you “feel like an expensive hooker,”
Although that was the worst for a long time,
What hurt the most,
Was not knowing that you did all those things for scans,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you professed to love Jesse so much more than me,
What hurt the most,
Was not how you told me “I fed a line” in that letter I wrote to you,
But that is in the top four,
What hurt the most,
Was not that final August night we spoke over the phone and you told me “I never loved you,” “I was obsessed or infatuated with you,” or “I only wanted you for your body,”
But that was the time I cried the hardest,
What hurt the most,
Was not when you posted that picture on Instagram and captioned “thank God it’s over with,”
But that stung really sharply,
What hurt the most,
Was that you replaced me,
What hurt the most,
is that you didn’t shed any tears in breaking up with me,
What hurt the most,
Is that you already had someone in mind when you were breaking up with me,
What hurt the most,
Was that you made me feel so small and inadequate,
What hurt the most,
Was how you brushed me from your life, like I was nothing,
What hurt the most,
Was not when you told me “I wouldn’t be ok with waking up next to you every morning”
What hurt the most,
Was hearing you describe your relationship with him,
It was not love you were feeling my darling,
It was happiness.
What hurt the most,
Was knowing I did not make you feel that way,
What hurt the most was knowing I was not good enough,
What hurts most of all though is on my end,
I lost my best friend,
And even though she hurts me,
I will love her Always,
Despite that love,
What truly hurts,
Is I will never trust her with my heart again.
Not all is as it seems
It is so strange to think that in the last four billion years of the earth's history, the sun has not once risen to greet the earth in the dawn. It is even more strange to think that the sun has not even once ever truly set during the dusk.
We have never seen a sunrise in the morning window, or a sunset on a beach. The truth is the sun has never moved. the Earth in fact turns it’s back to the sun but never truly leaves it.
This is like a relationship based in love. One stays and is the center of our whole known universe, and sometimes we become angry at that person because they seem to always walk in and out of our life so often we begin to question if they ever truly cared or wanted us. We seldom realize That we are the ones who are constantly changing, yet throughout all there has been someone in our life who was our sun. They just were themselves and shined, and we loved and hated them at the same time for it.
Rule 56
Love hurts, but there is more to it then that.
Days
You ever have one of those days where watching Dr. Who just isnt enough to make you feel better? Its like that with me except they aren't days-- they are weeks.
In the dark
My thoughts recede from the norm. I feel hollow. I feel so openly alone. But that's ok, because i will survive.
