It hurt when you broke up with me,
But break ups go that way I suppose,
It hurt when you moved on from me,
But that was bound to happen I guess,
It hurt when I found out how you gave yourself to him,
But what should I have expected anyhow?
But that was the nature of what happened.
Was not your reaction to the roses that I sent you for opening night,
Was not knowing how you wanted to break up with me weeks before you actually did,
Was not how you treated our break up like a business transaction,
Was not how happy you tried to sound when you lied about loving me on my birthday,
Was not how you put an ultimatum on us staying together,
Was not how you made out with another man,
Was not how you began to fall for someone else,
Was not seeing how drastically you had changed,
Was not when you told me I tried to “buy you” or made you “feel like an expensive hooker,”
Although that was the worst for a long time,
Was not knowing that you did all those things for scans,
Was not how you professed to love Jesse so much more than me,
Was not how you told me “I fed a line” in that letter I wrote to you,
But that is in the top four,
Was not that final August night we spoke over the phone and you told me “I never loved you,” “I was obsessed or infatuated with you,” or “I only wanted you for your body,”
But that was the time I cried the hardest,
Was not when you posted that picture on Instagram and captioned “thank God it’s over with,”
But that stung really sharply,
Was that you replaced me,
is that you didn’t shed any tears in breaking up with me,
Is that you already had someone in mind when you were breaking up with me,
Was that you made me feel so small and inadequate,
Was how you brushed me from your life, like I was nothing,
Was not when you told me “I wouldn’t be ok with waking up next to you every morning”
Was hearing you describe your relationship with him,
It was not love you were feeling my darling,
Was knowing I did not make you feel that way,
What hurt the most was knowing I was not good enough,
What hurts most of all though is on my end,
And even though she hurts me,
Is I will never trust her with my heart again.