My estimation of how good the Muppets are in bed
Kermit: A generous, proficient lover. I doubt he'd do something totally wild that you didn't even know you wanted, but I'm certain he will keep going until you cum. If anything his biggest issue is not vocalizing his own needs well enough. Not a problem for a one night stand but could cause conflict in the longterm if you're fuckin on the regular
Miss Piggy: The fool would say she's so self-centered that she must be a pillow princess; this is wrong. Miss Piggy fucks hard and will blow your mind, but she's an unrelentingly demanding lover. She'll tell you what she wants you to do but she is not patient about it
Animal: He has exactly one fuckstyle and it's exactly what you think it is. If you're super into that, he is the perfect lover. If you're not, then it's on you to move on
Fozzie Bear: Huge dick, low stamina
Rowlf: Not bad but not great. Kind of lazy. If you had a one night stand you'd enjoy it but wouldn't still be thinking about it a year later
Gonzo: Fucks hard. Fucks so hard. Can absolutely get it