So I have been laying in bed for about 3 hours now trying to go to sleep. Alex had been asleep for the last 2 and half hours but for some reason I can't seem to sleep. I have been on Facebook, insta, Snapchat, and tumblr also been playing games on my phone, laying in silence staring at the celing, counting down from 100, I've tried so hard to fall asleep but I can't. And as I lay here my dank mind is going wild. I can't stop thinking about things. How badly I want a family, how badly I want to be married already, how I actually should have 2 children right now, a 16 month old and a 2 month old. But I don't. There are people all around me having babies and getting married and all I want to do is keep a freaking job longer than 3 months, get married, but a house, have a baby and live happily. I'm not doing any of that though. I lay awake at might and think about babies and how bad I want one. I think about it all day long. This madness has to stop. Its driving me fucking crazy.