Sep 2, 2020
Darkness
I was at a retreat. It was safe enough that I could play at being my sociopathic alter ego - Dark. I became sleep deprived and was afraid to sleep because I had pissed everyone off and was afraid they would get me when I slept. A storm was brewing as the night grew late. I was in the food hall and everyone was asleep. Each time the wind blew the door open a little I thought Dark would walk in. I was scared and acutely alone. I walked down to the hot tubs and became Dark. I sat in the hot pool in the dark with just my eyes and nostrils above the surface and watched the ocean storm rage in front of me. And I wasn’t frightened because I was the monster, Dark. And I understood in that moment why I had needed him as a child.
