#fuqyu

[yanyansweetness]

i'm pretty sure most of my teachers secretly hate me now.

cuz i either show up with no work, days behind on waht we're doing or i don't show up at all.

[yanyansweetness]

i finally learned how to play the beat for the cups song.

but i couldn't find any cups lying around so i learned it with a small play-doh container.

[pvnteezy]

The part that really spoke to me though was just when they said "yeah I would love to be with her, If somebody asked me, do you love her? Yes, Do you wish you were with her? Yes, but that's something I cannot do. I'm able to live with that side of me, my emotional side and be the person that I have to be and do the things that I have to do"

That was just like holy shit moment for me you know? It really made me realize a lot like that's something I plan on living by.

Anyways since I'm kinda just saying my thoughts here, uhm, so there's a girl right haha

Whatever, every time I wanna go out with a girl and I'm about to make my move they always get a fuckin boyfriend, dude. That's happened to me the last 3 times and I'm always like "fuuuuuck, really?!" This time though, I am not gonna let that happen. I just hope things will go my way this year. I'll do everything I can to make it that way and hopefully my efforts pay off.

K deuces.

[pvnteezy]

Preferably a female that cares aboutcha boi.

But other than my mom and sister these females don't exist. Not in my life.

Nope.

Goodnight, I guess.

[pvnteezy]

To look at your own life and feel so unsatisfied, to feel disappointed in yourself. In your own fucking self, man.

It's something really heavy and it sucks, to put it lightly. 

I'm at a point where I'm either gonna reach a breakthrough or a breakdown.

We'll see...

[pvnteezy]

Forever oblivious man. Like real shit.

I just cannot ever tell ever.

At least I know now!

Ahahaha damn...

Okay, goodnight.

[pvnteezy]

I try not to think about it, about us but it's so hard.

But because this hurts me like absolute shit, I know that it's the right choice.

Strange but it's true.

It will go away eventually, I just need to keep this pace up and not give in.

Seriously though, I wish I could've spent just one more day. A normal day with you. It would've been nice.

But you're still everything you said you weren't and wishing doesn't get me anywhere.

So I'm left here to just get over it and feel like shit, which is fine with me.

[pvnteezy]

Someone should wish me good luck cause I really need it right now.

Damn it, I'm nervous or anxious. I"m not sure which one but still I feel so jittery and..ahh fuck. 

Whatever, cig time.