Savor
pairing: fwb!san x f. reader
genre: fwb, angst, smut 18+
summary: San never wants to let you go. He wants to savor you.
wc: 2.7k
warnings: angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, jealousy, alcohol mention, oral sex, hair pulling, fingering (f. receiving), unprotected sex, creampie
date: January 18, 2025
Tick-tock.
Tick-tock.
Tick-
San grabs the pillow nearest to him and uses it to cover his face before he screams into it.
It only ends up making him feel worse. Your scent still lingers on his pillowcase, and your side of his bed is left untouched. You’re supposed to be beside him, sleeping next to him but instead, the sheets are cold and untouched.
It’s been a week since he last saw you. Too many days without hearing your voice, without seeing your name on his screen, and without feeling your touch.
He’s in over his head. Perhaps he allowed his jealousy to consume him, to make assumptions where none lay.
“Stupid! Stupid!” San chastises himself as he sets the pillow back in its spot. For a moment he pictures you in bed, your body covered in one of his comfortable hoodies, your cold feet pressed to his to steal his warmth.
San could have had it all and he blew it.
Blew it all.
Music booms around you as you sit at the bar. Your drink sits on a napkin, the ice melted and most of it untouched.
You had told Yeosang you didn’t want to come out tonight but did he ever listen? No.
Yeosang was on the dancefloor in his crop-top drawing the attention of the men and women around him. You know he brought you to be the DD now that your drink was left untouched. You wave the bartender over, handing him the drink and asking for water instead, heavy on the ice.
Moments later, it’s placed in front of you and you thank him.
This is stupid.
Fucking San.
Did he know how much he’d hurt you? It wasn’t like you were going to date Seonghwa. You hadn’t even called him back once you’d left San’s place.
Seonghwa was just someone you met. You didn’t plan to take it further but when he’d asked for your number, you’d given it freely not expecting he’d text, much less call.
San hadn’t texted or called in the past seven days. Seven ridiculously long days.
You stab an ice cube with a straw.
Water splashes up at you and you groan.
What were you even doing out tonight? You didn’t want to be here and Yeosang was dancing with Wooyoung. You should head home. You weren’t in the mood to be surrounded by people when the only person you wanted at your side hated your guts.
Even if he had rearranged them just moments before.
You tip the bartender, leaving your seat as you head for the exit. You couldn’t stand being here anymore. You’d rather be alone in your apartment feeling sorry for yourself. You needed to theorize what San was going to say before he kicked you out of his place that night.
You get into your car, set on heading home but instead, you find yourself outside of San’s place. You groan as you let your head fall onto the steering wheel.
“Really, brain?” You huff as you wonder what to do next.
You could go home, and forget about it.
Or you could go knock on his door and ask for an explanation.
It’s not like the two of you were a couple, so why was he so upset? But he had been on the brink of saying something. Perhaps he wanted more just like you? Ridiculous.
You laugh the thought away.
“Yeah, right.”
However, curiosity is eating away at you and he’s the only one who can quench that curiosity.
A knock on your window jolts you upright.
San stands shirtless (the mountains that are his shoulders distract you and make your mouth water) on the other side of your driver’s side window with furrowed browse. “Are you going to sit in my driveway all night or come in?”
“I-I don’t know how I-”
“Not what I asked,” San interrupts you as you shut off your car and unlock the door. You stumble out of your car and San reaches to steady you, his touch electric. You resist the urge to cling to him, to wrap yourself around him as if he were yours.
Fuck, you wish he was yours.
When you’re upright, you lock your car and sheepishly follow San inside his home. You should run, your brain is screaming for you to do so. You don’t do confrontation, sappy makeup talks, big apologies. You ask if they’ve eaten and gotten food, and the problem is swept under the rug; forgiven and forgotten.
This was the first time you were being held accountable for yourself. It was a mess but all you can do is stare at his broad shoulders, the marks you left behind still mar his golden skin. No new ones appear on the canvas of his back, and you sigh in relief.
There’s been no one else since you.
Your heart clenches in your chest as you walk through the threshold.
Perhaps this was a mistake?
San doesn’t know whether to look at your face or your feet. Your heels look painful, and you kick them off by the entrance donning your lilac slippers that rest beside his.
You look around the living room, your favorite couch cushion on the sofa. Your throw blanket draped over the back, your stuffed animals on his recliner.
When had you taken over his place? Why had he let you?
“Do you want something to drink?” He offers as he slides his hands into his sweatpants, unsure of what is going on at the moment. Why did you come here?
“Can we sit?” You ask as you switch your weight from one foot to the other.
“Do you want to change first? Be comfortable?” San asks as he notes the way you tug on your dress and then itch a spot on your side.
You nod as you head to his bedroom.
You avoid looking at the bed as you head for his closet. You take your dress and bra off, taking one of his oversized hoodies to cover yourself. It lands past mid-thigh so it’ll do for now. He’s seen you in less anyway so what does it matter, right?
San sits on the recliner, and you smile when you see him. Your stuffed animals take up most of the seat and he teeters on the edge, giving you the couch.
“I’m sorry for stopping by unannounced. I was driving home and somehow I ended up…” you trail off as you tuck your legs into your side.
San nods. “You’re welcome to stay. I can take the couch.”
“No!” You shake your head, confusing your best friend. “I don’t want to put you out like that.”
“It’s not a big deal,” San shrugs. One of the stuffed animals falls and he grabs it, holding it to his abdomen.
“I wanted to apologize for last week. I shouldn’t have given Seonghwa my number just because he asked for it. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize. You’re free to do what you want. Who you want.”
San can feel his heart crack at his words but he ignores it, squeezing the rabbit in his hands tighter. He hopes he doesn’t have the stuffing fly into the air.
“I don’t want Seonghwa. I want-” You don’t finish your sentence, avoiding eye contact as you feel your face heat. Were you just about to admit how you felt? To his face?
“You want what?” San is confused. His heart beats erratically in his chest but he refuses to get his hopes up. What if you didn’t mean him? What if you wanted to end whatever it was the two of you had? Not that it had been much of anything the past week.
Hell, had it been that long since he had you in his arms? It felt like an eternity to him. You were just across from him and yet you felt oceans away.
Regardless of what happened between you, he wanted you as his friend. He knew this whole benefits bullshit would lead to this and now things were awkward and messy. He was about to throw it all out the window to confess perhaps Seonghwa's call had been a blessing in disguise.
San’s so lost in his thoughts, that he’s not even sure you’ve answered his question.
“I want you, San.” You admit meekly, forcing yourself to meet his gaze, ignoring the clamminess of your hands and how you want to bolt for the door, clothes be damned.
“Me?” San’s eyes widen in shock. “Me?!”
You cover your face with your hands, wishing you could disappear. Fuck, you shouldn’t have said anything. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I don’t…” San trails off, his heart rate reaching dangerous territory.
“I know we were just going to be friends with benefits but somewhere along the way I fell in love. You’re my best friend, how could I not?” You laugh wetly, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Stupid, huh?”
San is still. He feels like he can’t breathe. His heart is racing in his chest as he processes what you’ve just admitted. What. The. Fuck. Is he dreaming? He has to be.
“Baby, I don’t think that’s stupid,” San finds his words. His heart still stutters in his chest for a moment. “I don’t think that’s stupid at all.”
“Don’t lie,” You hiccup. “Please.”
San leaves the recliner and the rabbit stuffy behind as he sits beside you. He wraps his big, strong arms around you.
“I’m not lying. That’s what I was trying to tell you last week. I love you, babe. So much. I don’t know when hooking up turned to more, but I love you so much. I want you. I don’t want anyone else.” San admits and you sob.
You cling to him, climbing into his lap. “I love you, San. I didn’t even mean to give him my number. I wasn’t going to call him or anything. I just want you. Only you. I swear.”
“I know, baby,” San holds you close, savoring your scent as he clings to you. “I know.”
“I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Shh,” San presses his finger to your lips. “Don’t say another word.”
San lips meet yours, silencing your mind for the first time in seven days.
“San!” you exclaim when his head rises from between your legs. One hand is tangled in his hair, and the other clutches the soft sheets you lie on.
San licks his lips, smiling when his eyes meet yours.
“Need more?” He teases as you ease up on the hold of his hair. Your hand moves to cup his cheek, nodding.
San melts beneath your touch, his face pressed to your thigh for a moment, leaving a gentle kiss on your skin before his fingers tease your entrance.
The hoodie you took from him earlier is bunched over your breasts, the thick material makes you hot but his scent clings to you and you love it.
“Please,” you plead when he continues to tease you. He chuckles at your needy tone, slowly sinking two fingers in easily. The moan that escapes you, makes his cock twitch as he settles your legs over his broad shoulders. His tongue circles your clit, tracing his name a few times just to make you writhe.
You’re his.
Finally his.
His heart soars in his chest.
A free hand moves upward to meet yours that clutches the sheets. He’s gentle as he unclings your fingers from the soft cotton sheets. Your fingers lace with his, and he keeps his focus on your pleasure.
Every shake, every soft breath, every moan, and every cry is singed to his mind as he pleasures you. There’s no need to go fast. No rush to meet an end. No quick exit at the end of the night.
He is yours and you are his.
You never have to leave his bed if you choose so, responsibilities be damned.
Before you know it, another orgasm washes over you. San’s curses are drowned out by the sweet symphony of moans that escapes your pretty lips. He feels like he’s on Cloud 9. He never wants to forget tonight.
Slowly, San places your legs on the bed as he leans over you. Automatically, you wrap them around his hips, giggling when you tug him toward you.
“Whoa!” He chuckles as he catches himself before you can bump more than your noses. “Missed me?”
“Always,” you answer honestly before his lips meet yours. There’s no hurry in your kiss, no hesitation as it deepens and San whispers how much he loves you.
You lock eyes with his, your hand caressing his cheek.
“I love you, San. More than you could ever know.”
San swallows the knot in his throat. Never in his wildest dreams did he think this would happen and now he was overwhelmed with emotion as he opened his heart to you.
“I love you,” he whispers as a tear rolls down his cheek and then another. You kiss each of them away, your tears running down your cheeks.
“Make love to me,” you tell him as your hands run over his shoulders, your lips pressing kisses to every bit of him within reach.
San kisses you, his forehead pressed to yours as he sinks into you.
A gasp escapes you as your eyes flutter shut. The stretch is delightful, so good you curse his name again and again.
San groans, his eyes fixated on your every expression as he slides home. You’re so warm and wet, so perfect for him. You wrap around him perfectly, every time. Your hands explore every bit of him, your fingers gripping his shoulders and running down the expanse of his muscular back.
“I love you,” he pants as he thrusts into you repeatedly. Your thighs tremble at his hips, clinging onto him so as to never release him.
“Love you more,” you tease, sticking your tongue out.
San rolls his eyes playfully, leaning forward to suck your tongue into his mouth as he lowers himself onto one elbow. His thrusts are slow, and languid as he grinds his hips on yours.
“Don’t start now,” he laughs as his hand moves to your breast. His thumb brushes your hard nipple, and you sigh.
San slips his hand between your bodies, his fingers rubbing your clit. You tighten around him, his name a saccharine moan rolling off your tongue to fill the space between you. Warmth spreads through your body, pleasure building and nearly suffocating you.
His lips press to the corner of your lips.
“Be mine,” he rasps as he nearly meets his end.
“I already am,” You inform him, holding him close. His forehead presses to yours, both beaded with sweat. The hoodie you wear is pressed between your chests, wet with sweat. Your hair is ruffled in the pillow, and tear streaks stain your cheeks, but to San, you’ve never looked more beautiful.
San kisses you gently. Your moans are muffled by his lips as you orgasm around him, clinging to him as he helps you ride it out before he cums deep inside you with a groan and a curse of your name.
After your orgasms, San stays on top of you for a moment longer as your shaky legs unhook from his waist.
“Fuck, I need to stretch more,” You complain as you wiggle your toes. San laughs as he slowly pulls out of you, frowning when his cum escapes.
He uses his fingers to push it back inside, and you shake your head as you laugh, swatting his hand.
“San, chill. I’m yours. I always have been,” You assure him as you pull him to your chest, his head resting on your shoulder. You run your fingers through his hair, smiling happily as you lay in his bed.
Your heart beats with his, a peaceful silence between you.
It almost feels like a dream, too good to be true but when San pulls you closer, kisses the spot over your heart, and whispers he loves you, you know it is anything but a dream.
Forever doesn’t seem like enough time for the two of you, but you’ll savor every moment with San at your side as your best friend, lover, and partner.
Your love will bloom for eternity.
