#gabewrites

[jadedgabe-archive]

The first time Billy was allowed out of his hospital bed, he had to be sedated. He thrashed around, breaking everything in reach. It was a long time before he was allowed to try again.

The doctors were always talking in low voices where they thought he wouldn't hear. Brain damage making him violent. Mutism from trauma. All bullshit. Billy wasn't talking because he had nothing to say to any of those people.

He threw another fit when he found out about his car. Another when Max tried to visit him. Billy would scream and shake and cry any time someone he knew came to see him.

He had nothing to say to any of those fucking people.

His strength came back slowly, but surely. He was always monitored, some asshole with a needle waiting by for him to misbehave. Billy learned to rein in his anger, but he never let it go. It festered, grew as Billy thought about everything that brought him here.

Everyone had known but him. The monsters. Everybody, including his fucking sister, had known about it. They just let him sacrifice himself for some girl he'd never fucking met.

She was the only one he would see, that girl, because she was the only one who had looked at Billy and not seen a monster. She never tried to make him talk. Never talked, herself. Just sat there with him on days when Billy's nightmares got too much.

When they finally released him, it was the girl who was waiting for him. She didn't try to help him, just walked slow enough that he could follow. She led him to a car, apparently having pulled some strings for Billy. Handing him a set of keys. Told him he was allowed to want to break stuff, but he shouldn't try to break himself. He just grunted out a rough 'thanks', the first word he'd said in months.

Billy didn't once check the rear view mirror as he sped out of Hawkins with just the clothes on his back. Didn't think it, or anyone there, deserved a single fucking look.

[jadedgabe-archive]

Billy's stomach dropped through the floor the first time Steve asked what he wanted for dinner. It was such a small thing, so stupid to get worked up about, but Billy couldn't help but feel like it was some kind of trap.

No one ever asked Billy what he wanted. No one asked him if he wanted to move to Hawkins. No one had asked him if he wanted a new family when he was still heartbroken from his mama leaving. No one asked him if he wanted chicken for dinner, he just had to eat and be grateful.

Steve noticed him pause, studying his face to find a reason, but Billy just shook his head. Told Steve he didn't care, whatever Steve wanted was fine by him.

He was relieved when it seemed like Steve accepted his answer. Later that night, though, he got out of the shower to a spread of Chinese food. Steve didn't eat Chinese food, always saying he'd rather get a pizza or burgers. He'd gotten all of Billy's favourites, as well. He's done this, it seemed, just for Billy.

"You do that all the time, man, just say whatever I think is fine. There's gotta be something that you want. You can tell me."

Billy was really fucking embarrassed when he notices tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

"People don't ask. No one ever cared what I want."

Steve took Billy's hand, leading him to the dinner and gesturing for him to start eating before the food got cold. Steve had even remembered the egg foo young, which Billy's dad never got because he thought it was just an omelette.

"I care, Billy. Maybe what I want is for you to tell me from now on. Not just going along with whatever's easiest."

"Yeah, well, I'll try tell you what I want." Steve made a face at Billy talking with his mouth full, but smiled when Billy added, "this was a pretty good guess, though."

[jadedgabe-archive]

Steve went to sleep that night and opened his eyes in the ruins of Starcourt Mall.

He could tell he was dreaming. The mall looked wrong, too clean and sterile. Too empty. And anyway, Steve hadn't ever gone back after that night.

He looked around, eyes helplessly drawn to the spot where- oh.

Billy was there, kneeling right in the spot where he'd made his final stand against the mind flayer. He looked so alive, whole and healthy and larger than life.

Steve disrupted some rubble as he started to move towards Billy. The crunch of it echoed loudly around the empty foyer. Billy whipped around, eyes landing on Steve and looking all of a sudden like a suffocating man just given his first breath of fresh air

Steve could relate.

Billy rose from his knees, took a few tentative steps before he was all out sprinting towards Steve, crashing into him with enough force to nearly bowl him over. They clung to each other to stop from falling.

"Am I dreaming?" Billy whispered, like he was trying not to shatter the moment

"I think so. I'm dreaming, too."

"You died, Stevie. Baby, you were so brave and I couldn't save you." The words confused Steve, obviously that hadn't happened.

"You died, Billy. I had to watch you die, there was nothing we could do."

They began to compare stories. To Steve, Billy was the one possessed, who was killed on the Fourth of July. For Billy, that had been Steve.

Billy's eyes were glistening with unshed tears as they talked. His hand never once loosened its tight grip on Steve's.

Steve felt more awake in this dream than he ever did, these days. He hadn't known just how grounding Billy's touch had been. Now he realised that he'd been floating, untethered without it.

"I miss you so much, Billy."

"I miss you too, Stevie. Hurts real bad without you."

"What's even happening right now?"

"I dunno. I just don't want it to stop."

Steve had never really known or cared how the upside down worked. He just knew it had taken Billy from him. Maybe this was its way of giving him back. A mismatched Billy and Steve brought together. It wasn't the same, but it was something.

Waking up was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He made Billy promise to be there when Steve went to sleep again. He was desperate, fighting the pull of day until billy agreed.

"Promise, baby. I'm gonna be here waiting for you."

He went through the next day stuck in a haze. He barely paid attention to anything that happened, couldn't remember anything he'd done. He could only focus on the mounting anticipation warring with the looming dread inside him.

He was so afraid that none of it was real, just his lonely, pathetic brain making it all up to feel better about things.

He stole a Valium from him mom's medicine cabinet that night. He wasn't proud, but he knew he was too worked up to get to sleep on his own. He closed his eyes, waiting an eternity before he could feel himself slipping.

He wasn't at the mall this time. There was sunshine in his face, salt in the air and sand beneath his bare feet.

He suddenly remembered the last conversation they'd had before that night. He could hear the way Billy murmured in his ear that someday he would take Steve to California.

[jadedgabe-archive]

The first time they have sex, Steve cries. Billy tries to comfort him, but Steve shrugs him off almost violently, asks him to leave before Billy can even get his pants back on. He goes, and doesn't hear from Steve for weeks.

The next time they talk, Steve totally blanks him. Acts like it never happened, like they were nothing. Like it meant nothing. Except, he just had to throw in a little dig at Billy's expense, like he was the stupid one for getting his hopes up.

Billy was used to it, 'straight' guys were all the same. It hurt worse this time, though, because it was Steve.

Billy cuts his losses the same as he always does. Avoids Steve as best he can, but it's hard to ignore the looks. When he thinks billy isn't paying attention, Steve can't stop staring at him with stupid sad eyes. Too fucking bad.

"I'm not some fag," Steve has told him once. Billy hadn't believed him then and didn't now, but Billy was and he was sick of Steve acting like he was the one hurt by all of this.

It went on until summer, until one day Steve shows up at the pool like he was under duress. Billy gave him a taste of his own medicine, pretended he wasn't there. Steve just ambushed him in the parking lot.

"Billy,"

"Nothing to say to you, Harrington." Steve deflated. Asked if he'd ever earn back the right to a first name basis. Billy said he might be grovelling for the rest of his miserable life.

"Ok, grovelling. Got it. I can grovel."

"Man, I don't actually need you to fucking grovel. I need you to admit to yourself that you're a fucking faggot."

"I- Billy, I'm not..."

"Not what, Harrington, I'm all ears. Not queer? Felt pretty queer when you were balls deep in my asshole, somehow."

Steve had that same look in his eye like he had that night, like he was all messed up inside.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't get me, either. Just missed you, I guess."

"I can't be pals with you, man. Either you're all in or I'm out." Steve just nodded. Wouldn't meet Billy's eyes. OK, if that's how things were gonna be, fine by Billy. He tried to get into his car but Steve grabbed his wrist. Billy hated himself for wanting the touch.

"You're too good for me, Billy." He knew. "I'm not used to all this faggy shit. I'm going to fuck up. I'm going to be shitty. I'm selfish, though. I don't want to never see you again."

Billy took a deep breath. His instincts were screaming at him to run. Steve really fucking hurt him before, was admitting he would again. But Billy wanted to be selfish, too. Wanted to keep something for himself even if it would only ever hurt.

"First of all, you gotta stop saying 'faggy shit' until you can actually call yourself a faggot without having an aneurism."

Steve looked like he was a sad puppy who had just narrowly avoided being kicked.

"OK, yeah, I can probably manage that."

It wasn't really good enough for Billy, but it was a start.

[jadedgabe-archive]

Some angst for you tonight babes, sorry 😔

If you asked Billy six months ago, he would say he hated Hawkins more than anyone else in the world. These days, he wasn't so sure.

You see, Billy was getting out of there the second he had his diploma. He'd been sentenced to two years in Hawkins, but his time was going to be up soon and he'd never have to think about the place again.

No, there was someone who hated Hawkins even more than Billy, apparently. He and Harrington were getting on better, these days. Apparently when your relationship with someone sort of began with you bashing his face in, the only way to go was up.

It was obvious that Hawkins was a slow poison, and it had been slowly working its way through Steve for a long time now. The kind of poison that once you had enough of it, there was no cure. If Steve didn't leave soon, he'd be stuck there forever.

Billy kept himself alive by counting down the days until he could leave for California. He wondered what was doing that for Steve. If Steve could just survive one more year after Billy graduated, and if he'd ever consider coming away with Billy. They were almost friends, these days and a year was a long time.

He tried bringing it up the time when they met up after their summer jobs to get high in Harrington’s pool shed. He was met with nothing but vague protests.

Steve was so sure there was no way he could leave, that he had no place in the world outside of Hawkins. People had been telling the guy for so long that he had no prospects, no future, no ticket out, that he had started to really believe it.

Billy tried time and time again, offered his passenger seat, offered his whole self on a silver platter, but Steve just looked at him sadly, eyes burning with longing. Billy felt uneasy, worried about Steve like he'd never been for anyone else.

Turns out it wasn't Steve he should have worried about. His last thought before dying was that now, without Billy to convince him to go, Steve would be stuck in Hawkins forever. And so would Billy.

[jadedgabe-archive]

Um. She's finished 🫢😳

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Steve had suddenly gotten a glint eye that sent a wave of adrenaline through Billy. He dipped his hands in the tub of paint next to him before running full tilt towards Billy and tackling him to the floor. Billy shrieked with laughter as Steve pulled up his tank top to wipe paint all over his belly.

Steve grinned down at him for a second, panting from all the running around they’d just done, then leaned down to breathlessly kiss Billy.

It tasted like paint but Billy didn’t even care. Steve had tried to run a hand through Billy’s hair before getting stuck, and that didn't matter, either. The paint was drying and sticking them together, and it was the best thing Billy had ever felt. His whole world had narrowed to the stench of paint, and the weight of Steve on top of him.

[jadedgabe-archive]

AU where billy is more punk than metal, ears pierced with a safety pin, mohawk instead of a mullet etc.

He gets to Hawkins and sees the way everyone is so fake, everyone's pretending so he seeks out the guy who was playing dead kennedy's in his car that morning.

Jonathan Byers is a weird guy, somehow even weirder than Billy, which is why it's so strange to see him pining over some boring preppy chick called Nancy. Until he sees her boyfriend and oh. Billy was maybe too quick to write off the guys in Hawkins.

When those two break up, Jonathan starts ditching billy to spend time with Nancy, leaving him to babysit the lost puppy Steve Harrington and the guy is a total loser, but Billy's half in love with him anyway.

He makes Steve listen to husker dü and trashes his huey lewis tapes, but Steve sticks around anyway, always there for Billy to crash against when shit gets too much at home. He's as steady as Billy is volatile, and it works for them.

One day, when they're sitting on Steve's bonnet sharing a smoke, Steve flicks the safety pin dangling from Billy's ear.

"Did it hurt."

"Yeah it fucking hurt. Bled too, was awesome."

Steve hummed, flicking the butt of the cigarette away without looking. His hand comes back to Billy's ear, and plays with the pin some more.

"You do it yourself?" Billy nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "Would you do mine?"

He coughed to clear his throat, tried not to make it obvious that all his fantasies were coming true.

"Yeah, I can."

Billy was going to wait until they were somewhere cleaner, but Steve just delicately plucked a pin from Billy's jacket and held it out. He raised an eyebrow, as if dating him to do it. Billy has never backed down from a dare in his life.

.

Steve's earlobe was oozing blood and puss. Billy's hands were shaking with the weight of all that trust, but Steve just smiled and said,

"Now we match."

[jadedgabe-archive]

Speak !!! Speak on the Gilmore Girls AU !!! I’ve been thinking Billy as Lorelei, Max as Rory, Steve as Luke

You get me you understand. Like there are a few logistical issues to iron out but I image that Billy got a girl pregnant or something when he was drunk (max being his sister just doesn't really work in this AU) and the girl doesn't want to keep the baby so Billy takes on newborn max at age 16 and runs away to small town USA to try and make a life for them.

Steve has been living there his whole life and bought a diner or bar or something with his trust fund money to make his parents mad and stop meddling in his life and Billy frequents it when Max grows up a bit, since he just doesn't have the time to work and look after her AND cook. Steve never makes Max pay because he's smitten with her

Steve and Billy have kind of a friendly antagonistic thing going (except for the part where Steve is obviously smitten with him and would drop everything at a moments notice to lay his jacket over a puddle for billy)

There's a lot more than I'm thinking always but this is the bare bones of the AU

(ALTERNATELY. It's a Karen and Nancy thing where Steve is dean and initially dating Nancy and billy is Jess except instead of fighting over Nancy, Billy ends up wooing Steve)