Nominal | an Introduction.
(A brief introduction to my Cosmo/self-insert's lore and the Paracosmos series.)
The internal monolog of a lost soul drifting through space, looking over an unknown life of regret. knowing only infinity awaits.
Words: 644. POV first person, Angst (very angsty), Open ending, Self-worth issues.
Cosmo lore time!!! For more info on the character as well as the designs, cheek out Cosmo on toyhouse! I may edit/remake this later, but yey!
Full work under the cut! Also on Ao3 and Toyhouse!
My body, my blood… it’s all so cold.
Drifting through interstellar oblivion.
Waiting as time passes me by.
My limbs grow numb, yet my skin continues to burn.
Stripes and Symbols burn with a deep, painful longing for freedom.
Freedom from my very self.
I’ll never escape it. I feel it clawing away just under the surface.
Threatening to boil over and break loose...
To destroy all that I am.
...This flesh... is it even mine?
I don’t remember my home, my family, my life… anything.
All I know for certain is my name.
And that this is all my fault.
How long have I been here? Lost among this heavenly void.
It has to have been years now, maybe decades. It feels like an eternity.
An eternity of endless echoing silence.
I’ll never know; they won’t tell me.
Why does it hate me so much?
The voice that taunts me at every turn.
The voice that tells me how shameful and unworthy I am.
The voice that reminds me what a monster I have become.
What a horrible, wicked beast...
Truthfully, I know why...
It knows what I’ve done...
I made this choice; I wanted this.I deserve this.
Why does it choose to follow me?
Why does it choose to torment me with its ghostly presence?
What does it even want with me?
And why do I believe everything it says?
It tells me that it can help me.
That if we work together, we have great power.
That if I let it, it will fix everything.
Let go... of all that’s left of myself.
I will drift into a dream.
And I will wake up far away from here.
In worlds I have never seen nor imagined.
In a moment of freedom, where I can forget the shackles that haunt me.
Free to roam and explore any place I can reach.
To feed my curiosity and learn all the oddities of this reverie.
To create anything I can imagine, to be anyone I want to be.
To feel the warmth of kindness, companionship, and even love.
A home to grow older in, and years to look back on.
I will be given a life and destiny to fulfill.
I always return here, and I don't remember a thing.
I only feel the wear of age on my timeless frame and grief for those my mind has abandoned.
It’s a cruel trick I always fall for.
I’ll never even know if any of it was real or not.
These are always my darkest times.
When reality sets in, and I know everything is gone.
And in these lows are when the voice speaks to me most.
It recounts the mistakes I made in my lucid dream and critiques my choices.
Musing how I’ve changed and what my journey must've meant to me.
Then it reminds me of the gifts I’ve been granted.
An ever-shifting body to sculpt to my every desire.
With no trace of who I used to be…
Infinite lives to live my every dream.
Forever homesick and uncertain...
The ability to defy both life and death, imperishable.
The pain and misery... will it ever end?
In the end, all I have is this vessel.
This body I gave my soul for.
I once thought of it as a blessing; now I know it’s my punishment.
For what I’ve done… what I am, what I always was.
But there’s really no point in dwelling on such things.
The sun will rise, and the voice will beckon. Forever always.
I will see what tomorrow brings when I wake up again.
I know it probably doesn't make much sense, but I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading =^-^= ♡
