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“gallerina” ali michael by paolo roversi,2007.

#kider #gallerina #ali michael #paolo roversi #2007

ali michael by paolo roversi,2007.

#kider #ali michael #paolo roversi #2007 #gallerina

Day 2

It’s 12:18pm on a Wednesday here at the gallery. Things are very slow and very cold – I have my jacket zipped all the way up to my neck, as outside the sun shines down on a beautiful summer day in Chelsea. I’m trying to change my attitude, and approach every day with a fresh burst of positivity. I have written a list of positive affirmations:

I have the opportunity to live in an amazing city

I have money for food, rent, and transportation

I’m getting a start in my chosen industry

This job enables me freedom and adventure outside of work

This job will pave the way for new positions in the future

My coworkers are friendly and pleasant to be around

I have time to pursue my own creative impulses

I have an easy commute

I am proud to be pursuing my passion for art

I believe in my ability to perform well at this job

I will do everything I can to be productive

I am beautiful, creative, talented, and capable

I am cheerful, blissful, and determined

I am going to have a very good day

Yesterday was the start of this new approach to my job here at the gallery. Over the weekend, I made a spontaneous decision to eat my last tab of acid. It was left over from the spring, when a friend of mine (who happened to be a campus drug dealer) repaid me for an art project. Most of the acid was consumed during weekend adventures or my cross-country road trip, but at the end of the trip I had a single, solitary tab left in my recycled jam jar of fun stuff. I didn’t have any immediate plans for it, so I tucked it away in a pocket and figured I would find a way to put it to good use. Over a month passed without an appropriate opportunity presenting itself, until eventually I found myself alone in my apartment on a Sunday with a small tab and an itch for adventure. The acid hadn’t been terribly strong to begin with, and the tab was smaller than average. On top of that, it had been improperly stored for a long time. I figured it would be a very low dose, but I had never tripped alone or in a city environment before. On sudden impulse, I placed the tab on my tongue, and promptly considered taking it off again. However, I wasn’t sure exactly what that would do, and I didn’t want a soggy tab of semi-absorbed acid… so I decided I was in for the ride. Oh, blessed psychonautical explorers, let us strap on our seatbelts, for down the rabbit hole we go!

It ended up being an excellent decision. I packed my bag and went for a walk around the neighborhood, before returning to the apartment and grabbing my longboard. I listened to marvelously trippy new tunes on 8tracks as I cruised along the river, dancing slightly as I went, and grinning at the bubbles of joy in my soul and the wind in my hair. I skated south along the river, until suddenly I turned a corner and saw the Statue of Liberty out across the water. I laughed in surprise – I hadn’t seen it since an eighth-grade field trip to NYC. There it was, this great American emblem, framed against the grey sky and a jaggedly industrial horizon. I turned around and skated north again, until the acid started peaking enough that I hopped off my board and sat cross-legged on the grass, rolling my neck and performing some basic Kundalini yoga. I opened my eyes to see faint rainbows curling across the sky and the water in rippling undulations of light, bursting into indistinct fractals. I giggled softly to myself. How did I come to be here? It’s exciting and joyful and very strange. I thought about the layers of time encapsulated in my selfhood, like geological stripes. Isn’t it strange to be anything at all? Lyrics and poems crackled with electricity through my brain, and I wiggled my spine happily. I was struck with the sudden urge to do yoga… not in the park though; the sun would be setting soon. I opened Safari on my phone and discovered a free candlelit yoga class starting in 30 minutes. The universal flow was urging me onwards! I hopped on my long board and made my way back to the apartment for my yoga mat and a change of clothes. I walked about 10 minutes to the studio, which was in an old walkup building on St. Mark’s Place. The stairway was old, battered, and elegant, with a wooden handrail worn smooth by countless palms. At the top of the stairs I found a shoe rack, and the yoga teacher smiling from the doorway. We greeted each other, and he complemented my shirt and my rose quartz necklace with exuberant enthusiasm. His eyes were bright, blue, and sparkling with energy and joy. He asked me if I was there for the teacher training program, and I laughed and told him I had never been before, but was excited to check it out. The room was warm and softly lit, with wooden floors and windows at the back that were hung with tiny candles. It was perfect.

During the class, I sometimes followed direction and sometimes did my own thing. The philosophy of the studio is that “you are your won best teacher,” which I happily took to heart. Energy pulsed in my veins and radiated from my fingertips, as my muscles stretched and contracted. When the time came to do tree pose, the teacher encouraged us to “find our humor” – if we were falling, that meant we were learning. I laughed happily as I wobbled side to side, and joy overflowed in vibrations into my surroundings. As I was leaving the class, the teacher smiled at me. “You’re just all blissed out, aren’t you?” he grinned. “Yep,” I replied cheerfully, before setting off again into the night.

The neon lights along St. Mark’s Place bathed the sidewalk in multicolored radiance, and illuminated the groups of people clustered around doorways and lounging on the stairs. A guy with dreadlocks was performing tricks on his skateboard. I started walking faster when I felt a raindrop, and before I knew it they were falling faster and harder, until I was sprinting through the downpour, laughing with glee and trying to protect my iPhone against my chest. I made it to an awning where many others had gathered to escape the sudden deluge, and we marveled as the roads rushed with water. Eventually the rain lightened enough for me to scamper home, and there I turned on a nature documentary series, played some ukulele, started a charcoal drawing, and called one of my best friends. She had big news – she and her boyfriend had shared a profound spiritual experience, and now considered themselves divinely married. I laughed and laughed as my heart swelled with love for both of them, and a sense that everything was right in the world. I made notes to myself about harnessing my current bliss and channeling it into my work week, in order to imbue my hours at the gallery with a positive energy. Finally, around 4am, I fell asleep listening to an audiobook.

After this experience, I truly do feel motivated to create as much positivity in my life as possible, and to make the best of my job. Wish me luck!

XOXO,

The Angsty Gallerina