soemthing about the 🫂 emoji is so viscerally warm to me. despite its blue color pallete. you can feel the warmth radiating off of it. the love. the care. this is the closest to a hug anything virtually simulating it has ever made me feel tbh
i do all sorts of shit. let me draw your refs. let me doodle your characters. let me turn your humans into danganronpa shaped pixelated microorganisms. let me make weird and experimental art with your guys :0]
i dont have enough free time to draw anything Big until after the new year SO HERE WE GO!!!
(more thoughts under the cut)
this year was a crazy year, for so many fucking reasons i cant even count. it was genuinely horrific, but exactly one good thing happened, and that one good thing gave me enough hope to make it through the next twenty years if i have to.
JANUARY: a test piece, mostly. i finally upgraded to a better drawing tablet this year, one that had pen pressure! it was fucking awesome! i didnt do a ton with ot at the start, still kind of finding my footing
FEBRUARY: my brand new drawing tablet, mouse, and laptop got stolen right at the start of february. the police were (expectedly) no help in returning these. i didnt get a new one until the end of february, when i was thinking about my soldier oc, so this was a drawing of him and thats kind of all i did that month
MARCH: ok, to be a nerd for a second, i played the danganronpa fangame titled DANGANRONPA: EDEN'S GARDEN, and found out about the lead artist's series of works titled IMITATION/ECHO. this was heavily inspired off of that. it was my first real painted piece, and i wanted to really experiment and get out of my comfort zone and i really enjoyed it, even if its not something id readily try again
APRIL: a drawing of me! i'd been taking a figure drawing class all semester, and it's about here in this piece that you feally start to feel the effects of that in how my understanding of posing and form went. this piece feels really nice! i still really like it! its just cute! here marks me making more of an effort to draw myself shirtless in my fancy pieces because its really really good for my self images (i got a bit of a belly, and i like it, and drawing it accurately is fun)
MAY: im not sure what possessed me to draw that, especially given that its an oc i hardly think about these days, but i really wanted to try some kind of dancing pose, and what better than a tribute piece to my old idol oc? i really love how i did the colors on this one especially, it feels very very cozy to me. if you look really closely, a lot of the shading is done with a fish brush
JUNE: i was sad that night, i think, but im not sure what about. i really wanted to experiment with this particular bloom effect i saw a lot on aesthetic photos where they would overexpose the subject and theyd be totally white. this didnt come out the way i expected it to, more like a ghastly apparition than an overexposed guy, but it was really nice
JULY: i got a book on werewolves from WolfHideWinter's shop, and i loved the illustration in it so much that i tried to mimic the style with myself. i figured out this neat realistic-ish pencil brush workflow for this and played with it a lot in the days following, though i only do it sparingly now because it was so bad for my wrist
AUGUST: this one was based off a reference image on pinterest that i had had saved for like two years and always wanted to draw from. you dont know how insane i felt trying to paint myself. and then the blood dripping? and the outline being separated from me? i dont know what i was feeling doing all that and i think it speaks volumes in how much that piece looks like what dissociation feels like to me. its not pleasant. its kind of horrifying. but i really like that art
SEPTEMBER: when i went on a trip over the summer my boyfriend drew me as a little plane wolf (akin to plane dragons, but a wolf) and i thought it was so cute (its on my home screen) and got really obsessed with drawing it myself and that was the first time i myself drew a fullbody colored drawing of him. it was so cute
OCTOBER: IM SO MAD THAT I DIDNT HAVE NEARLY AS MUCH TIME TO DRAW THAT MONTH AS I WANTED. on the bright side though, i got really into drawing myself as a pooltoy wolf, and learned a lot of new things about myself in the process that i really shant repeat here, but we'll just say i still enjoy it a lot more than i anticipated
NOVEMBER: this piece means nothing BUT IS REALLY COOL. i just like black and white pieces a lot. you'll notice that this one isnt black and white— i put a gradient map over it after coloring it all grayscale, and then did some fucked up blend mode shit to that gradient map, and that was the result. it was cool as shit to me. the red blood dripping from the ceiling was supposed to be a recurring thing, representing itself from the august image, but its a little harder to notice with the gradient map on. i like this one a lot though
DECEMBER: december is a weird month for me and the holidays are always a little rough and have been especially rough this year because my family is not in a great place right now. december is always a month that i fantasize just slightly about bleeding out in the snow twenty miles out from the nearest town. its not that i want that to happen, but something big and impactful and beautiful is just something i think about sometimes. i also wanted to try using my foliage brushes again, and then i did some crazy lighting shit, and added blood even more blood to the art, like always, and it was perfect. im not sure why i like drawing myself in situations where im bleeding profusely or there is blood all over me so much, especially for someone who's quite squeamish otherwise. this peace was fun though
hi guys im not switching sites permanently or anything im just frolicking but Lowkey i finally made a bluesky account....... . .... .. i havent posted anything yet (going to start adding in my art sometime this week) but i would be so forever happy if u followed me there too:0]
