Just read somewhere that the thirteen sacrificed themselves for Manon but Aelin’s entire court was willing to sacrifice her and I’m repeating this again- WITHOUT LETTING HER SEE HER HOME- (of course our Rowan and Fenrys are exception to it all!)
Another moment that makes me wonder what would’ve been Sam’s reaction to it all- 😭
him: a literal war criminal, has a kill count that needs scientific notation, once leveled a city because someone looked at his person the wrong way, breathes in moral ambiguity, walks into ambushes like he planned them, sharpens knives just to think, holds grudges like sacred texts, is banned from six galaxies and still wanted in nine, would burn the world and everything in between just to save the one thing he loves
The weight of the decision you had to make was suffocating. Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every shared laugh with one of them only twisted the knife deeper. Rowan, strong and steady. Lorcan, dark and unyielding. Gavriel, warm and understanding. And Fenrys, all humor and quiet devotion.
You loved them. All of them. And the truth of it was a heavy thing.
At first, you tried to ignore it. You trained your magic with Rowan, sparred with Lorcan, confided in Gavriel, and let Fenrys coax laughter from you when the world felt too heavy. But the deeper your feelings grew, the more impossible it became to keep pretending that you could pick one and live with it. The idea of choosing one meant losing the others, breaking the hearts of warriors who had already lost too much.
So you did the only thing you could think of. You pulled away.
It wasn’t immediate, but they noticed—of course they noticed. The Cadre was perceptive, predators honed by centuries of battle. You were not as skilled at hiding as you wanted to believe.
Rowan was the first to press you on it. He wasn’t unkind, but his sharp green eyes pinned you in place after he cornered you in the living room. “You’re avoiding us.”
“What?” you asked, feigning confusion.
Before Rowan could respond the others walked into the room, settling themselves on the couches. Lorcan sat next to Rowan, and Fenrys and Gavriel sat on either side of you.
Lorcan’s arms were crossed, dark brows drawn low as he glowered. “You’ve been distant.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest. You took a deep breath, trying to school your features to hide what you truly felt. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Gavriel’s gaze was softer but no less intense. “Don’t lie to us. Tell us what’s going on, love.”
Fenrys didn’t say anything at first. He just moved his hand to your thigh, swiping his thumb back and forth in a comforting motion. Breaking down your defenses.
You swallowed hard, hands curling into fists. “I—” You hesitated, blood whooshing in your ears. “I don’t want to hurt any of you.”
Rowan’s jaw tightened. “What do you mean?”
Your breath came uneven. “I can’t pick.” The words tumbled out, raw and painful. “I can’t pick just one of you to love. Because I love all of you. And I know it’s selfish and wrong, and I know it’ll hurt to have to choose, but I—” Your voice cracked, eyes burning. “I don’t know how to live with breaking my own heart, let alone yours.”
Fenrys laughed. It wasn’t cruel, wasn’t mocking. It was relieved. You blinked at him as he grinned. “Is that what’s been tearing you up inside?”
Your lips parted, but no words came.
Rowan exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “You fool.”
Lorcan’s scowl had softened just a fraction. “You think we’d make you choose?”
You blinked. “You—what?”
Gavriel scooted closer to you on the couch, taking one of your hands in his. “Do you truly think we haven’t spoken about this?” His tawny eyes gleamed with humor. “That we haven’t noticed how you look at all of us? How we look at you?”
The room felt too small, your chest too tight. “But—you can’t be serious.”
Rowan huffed. “We are.”
Fenrys leaned in, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you to catch up, sweetheart.”
Your brain stalled. They had… talked about this?
Rowan, so reserved. Lorcan, who barely tolerated most people. Gavriel, the most level-headed of them all. And Fenrys, wild and untamed. They had spoken about loving you, about sharing you, and they were fine with it?
You opened your mouth to say something else but all that came out was a strangled sound.
Fenrys grinned. “We broke her.”
Gavriel chuckled, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Breathe, lioness”
Your heart thundered. “You’re all okay with this? Really?”
Rowan’s gaze softened. “We are.”
Lorcan’s voice was rough but sure. “We’ve always shared a bond. You were just the missing piece.”
Fenrys tilted his head. “So tell us, sweetheart—why choose?”
You exhaled shakily, warmth flooding your chest.
“Come here,” Gavriel murmured, opening his arms.
You crawled into his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. His large, calloused hands came up to cradle your head and rub your back.
“There’s no need to stress yourself out so much, love. We have all been together for so long. Through war and through arguments. But most importantly, we trust each other. To respect each other, to love and take care of you,” Gavriel said.
You wiped at the tears trailing down your cheeks. “Are you sure?”
“Oh, honey,” Fenrys said sympathetically. He moved closer to you and Gavriel on the couch, taking your hand in his and kissing the top of it. “We’re sure. I hate seeing you so upset.”
Rowan moved from his seat to crouch in front of you. “You don’t need to worry about the logistics of it. You let us take care of that. Take care of you, you understand?”
You nodded. “Okay,” you whispered.
It felt like you could breathe for the first time in months. It was overwhelming knowing that all four of these males wanted you, but most importantly, were willing to share you. Because like Fenrys said, why choose?
The final day of your bargain with the Shadowsinger has arrived. Your fury with his brother, powers, and personality are quickly judged on what’s supposed to be the best night of your life.
Overall warnings: contains maasverse spoilers, smut, talks of assault, reader is one of Azriel’s spies in Con, derogatory language, and shadow play. sad! Az, mentions childhood trauma, mentions of whippings, Throne of Glass crossover, mentions of death, torture, and murder.
I really hate that SJM killed off Gavriel right after he reunited with Aedion. I wanted them to bond. I wanted Aedion to open up about feeling ashamed of being called Adarlan's Whore. Gavriel could have told him that he didn't care and all he cared about was what his son had endured and survived as a young child. I wanted Gavriel to tell Aedion that he's proud of him (and maybe even vice versa).
I wanted Gavriel to meet Evangeline and realize that Aedion had practically already adopted a child. I wanted him to see Aedion with Lysandra and Evangeline and to see the little family he had gained for himself. I wanted Gavriel to bond with Evangeline and help raise her since he didn't get the chance to raise his son. And I wanted to hear Evangeline call Gavriel "Grandpa Kitty-Kat."
